Spirit Bound
by Krazy007
Summary: Fairy Tales. I never believed in them. In life, happiness isn't something that gets handed to you. But with all I faced, I'm starting to believe just about anything is possible. So drowning in my promises, I didn't have time to look, I just had to jump.
1. Born For This

**Ok, I'm not even sure why I'm writing _another _story. I'm just so freakin' impatient for Spirit Bound to come out already. I read the excerpt like yesterday so...I couldn't help myself! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible, including how (sadly) evil and cruel Strigoi Dimitri could be and even adding in Rose giving Adrian a chance (which I don't support at all). Hopefully the book will be a lot better than this. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything, Dimitri would be my prisoner. **

**WARNING: The letter belongs to Richelle Mead. I didn't write it. If you haven't read the first chapter of Spirit Bound, I suggest not reading this. **

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**One**

_Everybody live like it's the last day you will ever see  
Tell me, tell me, do you feel the pressure now?  
_

**D**O YOU EVER FEEL LIKE you've been asleep for weeks—like you're going through the motions of your life, without really living it? That's what I've been doing the past about 12 weeks; 84 days; 2,016 hours. And it's not like I'm in shock. It took at least two days for it to really register in my head that I _hadn't _killed Dimitri Belikov—the man I loved, the man that haunted my every breath. After I finally realized what I hadn't done—with help from the lovely letter he left me—a storm of emotions thundered inside of me. I was swelled with disappointment that I had _failed_. I hadn't freed Dimitri's soul that I had risked my future and life to do. Those months of practice with him had come down to absolutely nothing. Sure, I killed dozens of other Strigoi to get to him, but none of those other bodies mattered when it added up to how much strength I really had. It was my greatest challenge and I didn't pass.

Then, the relief kicked in. Dimitri—in a way—was still alive. If I hadn't known there was a way, a very long-shot way, possibly a lie, of returning him to a dhampir, this news would have frightened me. It did—but not as much as it could have. I had hope; a chance to get what I wanted more than anything: My happy ending. This practically impossible ending resulted in being Lissa's guardian _and _with Dimitri, both of us dhampirs. Everyone knew I was pretty realistic, so believing that those two things could happen was a miracle for me. But, if I didn't have any faith, it wouldn't happen. Holding onto my last shred of hope was all I had left.

Abruptly, a knock thumped from the door of my dorm room. I still couldn't believe I was back at St. Vladimir's. Somehow, I always ended up here again. Ironically inescapable. I leaped off my bed and swung open the door, revealing a very excited Lissa—my best friend in the entire world and the last Dragomir princess. We shared more than friendship though. I could feel the anticipation fused with worry bleeding into me through our bond. It was a long, complicated story, but after an accident that killed Lissa's family and me, somehow she was able to bring me back to life with the rarity of Spirit magic.

You see, in my world, there are two different types of vampires: Moroi—which is what Lissa is—and Strigoi. The Moroi are the "good guys" that only take some, harmless amount of blood from willing humans. They get weak in sunlight instead of incinerating like Strigoi and have the ability to control one of the 5 elements: Water, Earth, Fire, Air, and Spirit. Until recently, Spirit was basically unheard of, but it was element Lissa specialized in which enabled her to use her healing powers to bring me back to life. Strigoi are an entirely different category. It what Dimitri sadly is now. They're the sinister, twisted vampires that mercilessly kill the prey they drink from. With sickly pale skin and blood red eyes, they could easily give you nightmares. Only one of them did—and I think you can guess which one. After Lissa resurrected me from the dead, I could constantly feel her emotions like they were my own and sometimes even slip into her head and experience her life. Yeah, it wasn't a pleasant thing, but it proved to be useful a couple of times. These past 2 years have been hard and we're still struggling with all the side-effects of me being her shadow-kissed best friend/almost guardian.

Standing in my doorway, Lissa beamed and I knew we both felt that everyday relief at seeing each other. I had left for an entire month once to hunt down Dimitri in Russia, dropping out of school and leaving Lissa behind. Leaving had left physical and emotional pain to both of us. Being apart from each other was like having something literally cut off from ourselves. I would never do that to her (or myself) again. Her smile was enthusiastic and assuring. Sometimes I wondered if the bond was partially both ways. Or maybe Lissa just knew me _that _well. Knew that her optomistic attitude is one of the few things that can get me through these days without breaking down. That was vice versa of course, considering how with me being shadow-kissed, we could balance each other. It was that friendship and trust that kept us from turning out like Saint Vladimir and Anna. "Hey, are you ready?"

I genuinely thought about it. "No, not really." Lissa's expression made me laugh. But I was being honest. Today was probably the _biggest _day of my entire life and I wasn't so sure how I felt about it. If I failed this test...I wouldn't even let the thought develop. We were just one week away from graduation and today's events could either make me or break me, literally speaking when it came to my future. Not only would I have an entire waiting list of people who would murder me (including Dimitri _and_ my mother) but I would probably beat myself up over it forever. Now, it's not like my self-esteem suddenly deflated, it's just arrogance will only be your downfall in this. But hey, no pressure right?

Like she could read _my _thoughts, Lissa's features morphed into something more compassionate and kind instead of panicked. "Rose, you'll be amazing, like always. Don't even worry about it." Her words were soothing and I felt her calming thoughts purposefully pour into me. Unfortunately, they did nothing to help my nerves. If I wasn't living in a sleep, I was on the edge most days. It ached to think that my life would consist of this worry and pain all the time now. Olena's words echoed that: "_It gets better, but you'll never be the same." _How true that was. Ever since Mason had confirmed that Dimitri was Strigoi...well _I _hadn't been the same. Guilt consumed me. I knew it wasn't exactly my fault he had been turned, but if I hadn't suggested the rescue mission, things would have been drastically different. I would live with that realization for the rest of my life.

My thoughts were dark, but I smiled anyway for my best friend's sake. "Thanks Liss," My eyes wandered back to the piece of paper that burned to even think about, but it was reeling me in like a magnet. How could he still do this to me? Why was my heart being so damn stubborn and stupid? "I'll meet you on the field. I've got the handle something first." I explained but my thoughts were elsewhere. _More like go torture myself. _

Lissa nodded, complerely oblivious and still cheerful. "Sure, see you down there." I hated keeping anything from her. She knew about Dimitri now, including all the gory details about my little detour to Russia, and I even told her about my next big mission—breaking Victor Dashkov out of jail. He was our ultimate enemy who had commited unforgivable crimes towards Lissa and I and plenty of others last fall, which consisted of torturing Lissa and deluding his own daughter into turning Strigoi. To say Lissa was afraid of him was a major understatement. We both were terrified, but I knew I had to go through with this, had to give this crazy idea a shot. Lissa agreed to accompany on my next mission, but she wasn't too thrilled about it. That made two of us.

I watched her disappear down the hallway before shutting the door and scuffled back to my bed. I inhaled a keen breath, my fingers itching to hold it in my hands again. "Good God, I'm so masochistic." I grumbled before I read over the letter again. I was on my 6th time. It arrived at the perfect time, not that I should have expected any less from him.

_My dearest Rose,_

_One of the few downsides to being awakened is that we no longer require sleep; therefore we also no longer dream. It's a shame because if I could dream, I know I'd dream about you. I'd dream about the way you smell and how your black hair feels like silk between my fingers. I'd dream about the smoothness of your skin and the fierceness of your lips when we kiss. __Without dreams, I have to be content with my own __imagination—which __is almost as good. I can picture all of those things perfectly, as well as how it'll be when I take your life from this world. It's something I regret having to do, but you've made my choice inevitable. Your refusal to join me in eternal life and love leaves no other course of action, and I can't allow someone as dangerous as you to live. Besides, even if you were turned against your will, you now have so many enemies among the Strigoi that one of them would kill you. _

_If you must die, it'll be by my hand. No one else's. __Nonetheless, I wish you well today as you take your __trials—not _that you need any luck. If they're actually making you take _them—and __I have no doubt they __are—it's _a waste of everyone's time. You're the best in the group, and by this evening you'll wear your promise mark. Of course, that means you'll be all that much more of a challenge when we meet _again—which __I'll definitely enjoy. __And we will meet again. With graduation, you'll be turned out of the Academy, and once you're outside the wards, I'll find you. There is no place in this world you can hide from me. I'm watching._

_Love,  
Dimitri_

His words stirred a mixture of misplaced pleasure and pain inside of me. It wasn't his first letter and definitely not his last. But sending them had become a weekly routine. I tried to not dwell too much on the threat and of course fact he was watching. It didn't surprise me—that much—that Dimitri had spies. After, with my help, he killed off his boss, Dimitri had sort of become the leader of the Strigoi at that estate. Of course no Strigoi could stalk me 24/7 on the school grounds, but that didn't rule out the numerous humans willing to do so in return for eternal life. It sickened and saddened me to think those humans would do _anything _for a chance at becoming immortal. They didn't understand their sacrifice.

Swallowing, I shook off these thoughts and my boiling emotions. I was already running late. Like the letter mentioned, today was _the _day of my trials; the tests that would make me an official guardian and earn that promise mark. Sudden eagerness bubbled up in me. I tossed the disturbing letter back on my bed and rushed out of my room. There would be no distractions. Not today. I couldn't afford them. By the time I reached the field just by the dorms, I managed to calm my hands of their trembling and caught up with Lissa. She smiled and threw an arm over my shoulder supportively. She didn't have to say anything. Her comfort was shining through her thoughts and emotions as clear enough as if she'd been screaming them. I shoved my tangled thoughts of Dimitri to the back of my mind and took in my surroundings.

For today's final trials, one of the school's sports fields has been turned into a challenging obstacle course. It was enveloped by bleachers, packed with students and even some parents that wanted to have a front row seat for today's events. Honestly, the whole place looked like some Roman gladiator arena. Banners hung from high surfaces, colorful and flapping in the wind. I couldn't get a good look, but I knew there was a specific area for the novices to wait before they took their turn. The thought of it all made my stomach twist with butterflies—but they were the good kind. I could feel the adrenaline start to trickle through me.

Lissa's voice broke through the semi-silence. It wasn't completely quiet because of all the cheering and chatter coming from the stadium. "Can you believe we'll be done with high school next week?" I could tell by her voice alone that she was having some sort of ephiphany. I let her continue. "I mean, college is like right around the corner. We're basically adults now. I can't believe it. All of this is just...happening so fast." She gave a warm smile. "But I'm glad you're here with me, Rose. Not just as my guardian or my shadow-kissed friend but my _best _friend. It's so amazing that we're both here again, together."

Her words were touching but I gave her a light punch before things got too mushy for me to handle. "You sound like some speech about hope or something, Liss. You're making me feel all fuzzy and nauseous as the same time." This made her laugh of course. I smiled too, but it quickly melted. Her words brought a new round of troubles to my mind. _My guardian_. That wasn't a fact. At one point, it was, but now it might not even be a possibility. No matter how badass I could be with fighting and protecting Lissa, Queen Tatiana wasn't exactly on board with giving me that title. Dropping out of school and running away twice doesn't help the futile situation either. Crap, I was losing my excited buzz.

Lissa noticed my transformation immediately. She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"It's just...the future _really _isn't set in stone, Liss."

She understood what I was talking about. She tried to appear confident, but worry was ablaze in her, as much as me. "Alberta thinks there's a good chance you'll still be my guardian." Lissa argued, as if that mattered. "And even if Tatiana doesn't want you to be protecting me, I'm sure I can convince her otherwise." I wasn't sure if she was talking about compulsion (which under the circumstances, I wouldn't have minded) or just her natural persuasiveness, but Lissa switched subjects. "Don't worry about that right now, ok? Today's _your _day to prove to everyone how much you derseve this."

Her words truly made me smile. After opening up about everything, I really felt closer to Lissa. It was so much easier to talk to her about things and now it wasn't just about her problems anymore. We were getting better at this balance thing. I gave her a quick hug. "Thanks," I felt the delight in cheering me up sweep over her. She was used to it being the opposite way, but loved helping me when she could. We kept walking and my old recklessness resurfaced when I said, "You're right. We'll be outta here soon and off into the real world."

Istantly Lissa stiffened beside me. Oops. I hadn't realized the double meaning in my words. Being "off into the real world" was a reminder of the promise Lissa made to help me with the "Victor Operation". While in Siberia a couple of months ago, I stumbled across another spirit user-shadow kissed pair and they gave me the startling possibility of turning a Strigoi _back _to their original form. They had told me repeatedly that this was most likely a lie that another crazy spirit user had told them, but I couldn't just let it go. This alleged "trasformer" was Robert Doru, Victor Dashkov's half brother. With help from my newly discovered father—it still made me shudder—we had found out the only person who knew where Robert was was Victor. It was a simple equation. If we wanted the information, we had to give Victor the only thing he wanted: Freedom.

I realized it might not even matter. The plan was far from foolproof. First, I didn't know if Robert even knew what he was talking about. That was kind of a big part. Second, how the hell does one stage a prison break anyway? Even if I could do it, I wasn't sure where the prison was exactly. And finally, in doing this, we'd been releasing our mortal enemy. It was honestly the stupidest and most reckless thing Rose Hathaway could come up with, but as always, I was going to give it a shot and see what happened.

I started to fix the awkward silence placed between us, but was interruped by Stan marching over. "Hathaway!" He growled but his tone shifted to horribly sarcastic. "I hate to end this fascinating conversation you two are having, but we have some trails to do. Get in here, NOW!" I gave Lissa a 5 second hug—a hug 5 seconds too long, according to the look on Stan's face before following him out to the section of field organized for the waiting novices. My heart was pounding hard in my chest, I could practically feel it against my skin. The rush was returning, throbbing through my veins. But as I took a look around at the others, sadness clouded over me. Some of my classmates were doing warm-up excercises and stretching, others whispering in huddled groups, but most of them stood with their mentors.

The teachers gave their students reassuring words of advice we all needed. The sight made my heart constrict. It felt like an eternity ago when I pictured this day. I imagined Dimitri and I standing together with him telling me to take this seriously and stay focused and calm. Alberta had been my short-termed mentor when I returned from Russia, but as head guardian, she was much too busy with other things than to come hold my hand. I was alone. Without her or Dimitri, I felt the surprising ache of lonliness spread over me. Dimitri should have been here with me. That's how it was supposed to be. I fought the coming tears and closed my eyes, allowing myself to create my own universe where he _was _here, only inches away. **(AN: These are Mead's lines, not mine!) **

"Don't worry, comrade. I can do this blindfolded. Hell, maybe I actually will. Do you have anything I can use? If you're nice to me, I'll even let you tie it on." Seeing as this fantasy would have taken place after we'd slept together and decided we could make things work, there was a strong possibility that he would have later helped me take off that blindfold—among other things. I could perfectly picture the exasperated head shake that would earn me. "Rose, I swear, sometimes it feels like everyday with you is mine own personal trial." But I know he'd smile anyway and the look of pride and encouragement he'd give me as I headed toward the field would be all I needed to get through these tests—

"Rosemarie Hathaway!"

_Damn it! _How could it be even when Dimitri wasn't here, he distracted me? It was Alberta who called me, her voice ringing loud and clear. It was like a trumpet, a call to battle. All thoughts of Lissa, our future, Victor, and yes, even Dimitri perished from my mind. Everything around my faded as I strode onto the field. I think I heard Lissa shout goodluck from somwhere, standing with Adrian and other people, but I wouldn't have known. My heart wasn't shutting up for me to hear anything else. But I welcomed the adrenaline that returned, shooting through me, making my pulse thunder again. All my attention was focused on what was in front of me: the test that would finally make me a guardian.

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**Yeah, yeah I know I copied the end from Richelle Mead, but I really had no idea how else to do it, but I cut out Janine's part to save for later. In case you missed it, Dimitri's letter was in the actual first chapter of Spirit Bound and I didn't write it, just so you know. Anyway, is anyone else EXCITED FOR SPIRIT BOUND? Seriously, it's like having domination over my mind. Only 147 days away**—**Yes, I am counting. **

**Thanks for reading! I need at least 5 reviews for the next chapter. =) **


	2. From Where You Are

**Thanks a billion for those awesome reviews. You guys rock. Ok, just so you know, I totally made up these tests for the novices. I had no idea what type of tests they take, so don't slay me ok? I couldn't think of anything better. In this chapter, the drama begins. =) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: No, I own nothing. Stop reminding me. **

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**Two**

_So far away from where you are  
I'm standing underneath the stars  
And I wish you were here  
_

**T**HE BLOOD WAS SURGING hot and fast through my veins like lava. I imagined Dimitri standing there, watching me, and was determined to make him proud. Alberta was waiting in the center of the field with safety equipment I might need. She assisted me in putting on all the padding while I mentally prepared myself for this. I went over every lesson my Russian coach ever taught me, along with things I had learned in class. It was like flipping on a switch in my mind, all his teachings returning to me for the moment they really counted. I could hear his deep voice as if he were whispering to me: _You can do this, Roza. Remember, only _you _are in control of your body, not your emotions. _

Oblivious to the voices in my head, Alberta gave me a warm smile and a pat on my shoulder. Coming from her, it was a lot. I nodded and charged out to the starting obstacle course. The first test was how well I could use my body as a defense, in case I didn't have a stake with me. I clambered the steps to the small ring where two guardians dressed as Strigoi were going to test me: Stan and…my mother. I visibly froze at the sight of her, but recovered quickly and stepped inside the ring. _What _was she doing here? How did they expect me to fight with my own mother? Real world Strigoi aren't that cruel.

Janine Hathaway smirked slightly while Stan was in battle mode, face stoic. A heartbeat later, she mirrored his expression. I forced myself to do the same and studied my opponents. Stan was obviously a lot bigger than me, bulky and tall so it would depend on my full strength to take him down. My mom was the opposite. She was smaller but also keener with her movements. Admittedly, these two were the best choice to test the students. I took a deep breath and Dimitri's voice prepared me. _You can usually use a person's extra height and weight against them. _Seconds later the bell sounded and I vaguely wondered if we were taking tests or having a boxing match.

Stan attacked first. His sudden weight against my body made me fumble backwards. But I was Rose Hathaway. I killed countless, much bigger and more lethal Strigoi. This was nothing compared to them. Confidence—but not cockiness—swelled in me. With the strength and skill of a well trained guardian, I managed a good blow back. It was pretty easy from then on. I was able to dodge nearly every attack from him. The point of this was to take the "Strigoi" to the ground. It was going to be difficult with Stan's height but as soon as he was vulnerable, I crouched and lunged forward. It took me a few tries, but I pinned him down and the bell sounded again.

Victorious feelings blossomed in me. _Concentrate, _Dimitri's voice warned. Suddenly, my mom launched at me and I was slammed against the hard and uncomfortable wall of the ring. Well, there goes my victory. I struggled against her, but good God, she was strong. My mind flew back to the practices with Dimitri where his full body weight had held me down. I pushed back against the wall and with my legs, maneuvered her out of the way. As soon as her grip had been released, I charged and we fell into a dangerous dance. I may not have trained with my mom, but she was incredibly skilled and was able to determine my movements almost as well as Dimitri did. It frustrated me but I kept trying, not giving up. Finally, I was able to catch one of my mom's deadly kicks and use that to throw her against the mat. The bell rang out.

There was no time for celebration, not yet. I moved on to the next challenge. Honestly, it was a little comical. There was a whole section of the field coated by layers of flooring. It was like a long, long wide hallway that was equipped with dummies clothed in all black. Some were dangling from strings like puppets while others were taped to rolling chairs. You were given a "Moroi" dummy and a stake in this test, having to fight or even dodge the pretend Strigoi that were being shoved at you. The guardian Yuri was standing there holding a stopwatch. Fantastic, we were being timed. I internally sighed and approached him. Helping out, Kirova handed me my stake and a blonde, frighteningly realistic dummy wearing an elegant pink dress. She had bright green eyes. "Is this supposed to be Lissa?" I asked no one in particular. All I got was an amused smile from Kirova and then I was sent to the wall-less room of fake Strigoi. The clock started. I clutched mini-Lissa.

My school was crazy. Even with my ghost and resurrected life, I had _nothing _on them. Doll Strigoi were flung at me from every direction. I felt like this should be a scene from _Chucky. _I could barely keep myself from getting hit, let alone my Moroi from getting eaten. My hand gripped the stake tighter and I started to swing it at anything that came too close. To my astonishment, it was working. All I had to do was touch the dummies with the stake and they fell away from me. I swiped it, sometimes fast and sloppy, others dexterously. Even if I failed in Russia, at least I was making the right hits now. I didn't even glance at the clock once as I kept pushing through to the very end of the room and dropped mini Lissa beside me. Her dressed was ruffled, but otherwise I knew she was safe.

Yuri gave a half shocked, half proud grin and then allowed me to take on round 3. It was probably one of the hardest. In this test, you were paired up with one other novice and had to work together to keep your Moroi safe from surprise Strigoi attacks. It was similar to the field experience. The two novices would take turns fighting the Strigoi and then watching over the Moroi. Trying to catch my breath, I watched my teachers and other guardians clothing themselves in black and discussing their strategies for attacking us. Alberta called me over and I was notified that—thank God—Eddie would be my partner. He grinned and trotted over to me.

"We're gonna run circles around these old guys," I joked making us laugh. I noticed Eddie had a cut stretched across his lower lip, spilling blood. I thought I got a few marks from Stan and my mom, but I couldn't feel them. My energy was running too high to pay attention to anything else but this. It was a lot like what happened in Spokane. The only thing I could focus on was doing this for Lissa, for us, to be together. All this time, my entire life, I was so sure I was going to be Lissa's guardian. It had always been a fact. Now, it was something unsure—something I had to fight for. Eddie tapped my shoulder, breaking my thoughts, and we went over some plans of our own, playing far and near guard again. Some part of me was actually enjoying this. Despite how terrifying and serious these tests were, they were also fun. Especially when I got to kick my teachers' asses.

Eddie and I watched in silence as Ryan and Dean ran into the maze the guardians had set up. My mind began to travel to much scarier times of Galina's estate and a similar maze, but I fought hard to shake them away. Noticing my distress, but thinking it was something else, Eddie squeezed my shoulder in support. We were called next and I whispered, "Let's do this," before we took off into the maze behind them. Eddie was performing near guard first, holding that Lissa-looking doll strong by the arm. I trailed about 7 feet behind him, scanning every corner. My heart was drumming almost painfully. I could see drops of sweat on Eddie's neck. It was eerily silent. Suddenly, there was a scream that reverberated throughout the maze. I barely composed myself before Guardian Chase sprung in front of me.

He went all out with red contacts and plastic fangs, but it wasn't those features that stunned me. Deep brown hair framed his face, grown out to his chin. Guardian Chase was already pale—at least, pale for a dhampir, so he didn't need any help with that. It's just when he popped up like that, he looked like Dimitri—Strigoi Dimitri. I knew the differences like the back of my hand, but my heart still leaped with fear. In my peripheral vision, I could see another guardian was attacking Eddie. I glanced back at Guardian Chase. It was up to me. The man I loved voice whispered in my ear: _Don't hesitate. _

I didn't.

I blocked his punch with a strike to his chest that made him stumble backwards, almost tumbling into the bushes behind him. Maybe it was Dimitri's voice that filled me with new, unstoppable power. Maybe it was my natural guardian instincts that kicked in. Or maybe I was letting all that built up anger and pain morph into something good that fueled me. Whatever it was, I used it to pounce on the fake Strigoi and stake him easily. I then ran over to help Eddie. Guardian Stephen and Ms. Carmack were circling him. I snuck up behind Ms. Camack, grabbing and dragging her back by the shoulders. She didn't even see me coming. I staked her and then went after Stephen.

He had seen my attack on Ms. Carmack, so I should have just pounced on him right there. But that wasn't how this part of the test was supposed to work. Stan had accused me of glory seeking a while back. He had been partially right—but not much. I should have focused more on working with Eddie to take him down instead of trying to get myself into the fight. I didn't make that mistake this time. Together, we defended ourselves from the "Strigoi." That was our system. One of us would do most of the work on our turn, taking down the Strigoi while the other kept mini-Lissa protected and helped when we could.

We continued this routine for the next few minutes. It was one of those rare times that I truly felt like a guardian. Glancing around me, I could detect my classmates were sharing the same recognition. Taking down my teachers, I felt invincible. I really wished the rest of the school could see me now and finally get that I wasn't completely out of my mind. Even if they did, I doubted anything could erase my "plane incident" from their minds. I kept going anyway. Maybe Eddie could get assigned as Lissa's other guardian. Us working together was almost as badass as what Christian and I did the day of the attack. After about 15-20 minutes, we were heading towards the exit.

That's when it happened.

I saw _him. _Not Mason, not any other ghost or dreaming of my mind. Dimitri—Strigoi Dimitri. He was standing on top of one of the buildings, the wind playing with his duster so it fluttered around his legs. The black sky surrounded him like the backdrop of a painting. The full moon illuminated his pale skin, so it practically glowed. He was so well hidden from anyone else that I knew he was here just for me. _I'm watching. _Yes, dammit, he was. Our eyes connected and for a few seconds, I was drowning in red. A smirk blossomed on his lips. The cards were on the table. We both knew we could see each other. My stomach plummeted when he had the nerve to actually raise his hand and _wave _at me.

A hurricane of emotions swirled in response. Part of me wanted to flip him off in return. He was distracting me and he knew it! The other part of me, the weaker part, wanted to collapse at the sight of him and bawl my eyes out. Seeing my frozen stance just gawking at him, Dimitri quirked a brow. I furiously glared back, hoping it would have a tiny affect on him. Of course it didn't. He only looked amused. How the hell did he even get in here? I knew Dimitri probably had the school's perimeter memorized, like every other guardian did, but he was still Strigoi. How did he get passed the wards?

"Rose!" Eddie yelled reminding me I was still in the middle of the biggest test of my life. It wasn't a reminder though, but a warning. One too late. My mother burst out of the bushes and, like earlier, slammed me against the ground. I grit my teeth together to hold in the pain that crackled through my bones. I think my mom purposefully pushed me harder because she knew I wasn't focusing. _Wake up call accomplished, _I thought just before I used my full lower body strength to kick my mom off me. Dimitri was—momentarily—forgotten as I flung myself back into battle.

Turns out during my little "zone out" episode, the rest of the novices had gotten out. That meant the remaining guardians by the exit were going to attack _us_. The world loves me, right? I didn't let the news bring me down. My motions were fierce as I dispatched two other Strigoi with my stake and then assisted Eddie in finishing off my mom—which took way longer than necessary—before we escaped back onto the field. To say I was pissed at the fact our Moroi had been killed wouldn't begin to cover my feelings.

"Eddie," I sighed as we reported back to the fields. "I'm so sorry," I couldn't believeI got so damn distracted and possibly cost mine _and _Eddie's future on it. Guilt flooded through me. My eyes ran back behind me, to where Dimitri had been standing, watching me, only to find the roof empty. If I imagined it…God, it was one thing to see ghosts, but to hallucinate about my Strigoi-turned boyfriend…yes, that was passed Crazyville.

Eddie didn't look angry, just disappointed, like I was feeling. "It's ok, Rose." He gave a small, reassuring smile that made me feel horrible all over again. "It shouldn't affect anything too bad, but…what exactly were you looking at?" There was no accusation in his tone or face, just curiosity and even concern, but I felt myself tense anyway. What had I seen? Was Dimitri really here? The mere thought made my bones chill, feeling like ice was ripping through my veins. That was impossible. He couldn't be here. He _wouldn't _be here. I decided that sadly, I must have imagined Dimitri standing there. He was constantly dancing through my thoughts, sometimes even my dreams. It only made sense that with my sorrow and misery of missing him, my mind had illustrated an illusion of him. Yeah, that was better than the alternative: Strigoi Dimitri was here—_now. _

I kept my exterior calm, though everything inside was trembling. "I thought I saw an actual Strigoi," It wasn't a total lie. I laughed anyway, so Eddie wouldn't freak out. "It was just one of the teachers, though." Eddie believed me. Of course he did. Despite my unsuccessful attempts with Dimitri, I was a pretty good liar. We remained in silence, my mind still buzzing with thousands of unanswered questions. Hypothetically, if he was here, did that mean he wanted to fight now? I couldn't do it. Not again. I mean, I knew if I didn't get to Robert on time—if I could get to him at all—I would have to just kill Dimitri unless I wanted him to kill me first, but honestly, I hadn't expected it to come to this. I wasn't ready to face him again. My heart wasn't ready.

_Snap out of this, Rose!_ I couldn't tell who the voice sounded like. _You need to focus on graduating—on Lissa. Let him go. This is what's important. _The voice's words were truthful and feasible, but I couldn't obey them. How could I just forget about what I had possibly seen? Somehow I managed to, when I caught sight of Lissa smiling and waving in front of the bleachers. Surrounding her, other students were congratulating their friends and even some teachers were joining them. But it would be different for me. I knew at least one unwanted lecture was going to come from somebody about my screw up. It really was field experience all over again. Except this time, I didn't have anything to use to make up for it. I had to take the black mark.

Lissa was radiating with joy and pride when I approached. "Rose!" Her hug engulfed me. "I saw you take down Stan _and _your mom! You were amazing!" The same emotions were spurting from the bond. I returned her hug then stepped back so she could congratulate Eddie as well. Without my permission, my eyes found the roof again. Like I expected, it was still vacant. I searched the other buildings and around the shadowed areas but something told me the obvious: I wasn't going to find him. I wasn't going to find him because he didn't want to be found. I was learning nobody could play hide and seek like Dimitri Belikov. Somehow, I needed to learn how to win if I wanted to live.

"My, my, isn't she a warrior?"

I whipped around. Sure enough, there my mother was standing. Her auburn curls were slightly frizzed by the fighting, but they swayed with the wind. Not a single cut was on her or a wrinkle on her black clothing. I hadn't seen my mother since I first returned from my field trip to the opposite side of the globe. It was definitely a surprise that she was here today. Before we left, she demanded the story of what I had dropped out—the full story. I was realizing we were more alike that I'd known. Well, I gave it to her, from the conversation on the ride to Missoula to the romantic walk before our rescue mission. My mom had all the details she needed to know. Shock was an understandable reaction, but after I revealed everything—with a few tears—I knew my mother and I had officially put away all that resentment for good. We understood each other so much better now, both of us losing the one we loved in different ways. Maybe all things good be fixed, someday. Maybe.

"I can't believe you're here," I replied with a smirk. There wasn't any sign of disappointment or anger on her face. Yet. Maybe she'd be generous and wait to yell at me when we weren't in front of so many witnesses. Despite my curiosity, I was happy and relieved to see her here. I thought I was alone during these tests, but I was wrong. Lissa and my mom were here to support me, even if I wasn't flawless in my performance.

She half-smiled in response. "Did you honestly thing I wouldn't come watch you?" Her smile shifted full and even warm. "I was going to stay with Lissa, but then Headmistress Kirova informed me that we needed more 'Strigoi' so I offered to help out." I watched in awe as pride glistened in her eyes. "You were fantastic, Rose. Definitely _my _daughter."

I laughed, but shook my head. "Thanks, but I figure you had, I don't know, more important thing to do." My tone was a little sheepish. Even with a stronger relationship, most days I was still confused at how to act around her. I oscillated between a little girl's need for her absent mother and a teenager's resentment over abandonment.

"There's no way I could miss this," She said. Her tone was firm, a mixture between tough guardian and mom. Her head titled towards where a cluster of people—including Lissa—were chatting behind us. There was a knowing smirk on her lips. "Neither could your father."

"_What_?" I whirled around. Sure enough, Abe Mazur was standing beside my best friend. It wasn't hard to miss him with the moonlight reflecting off all of his gold jewelry, along with the emerald green scarf wrapped around his neck. The more I studied him, the more I—sadly—realized we looked so similar. He had to be melting in this heat, but I figured it would take more than a little sweat for him to tame down his flashy fashion sense.

If my relationship with my mother was sketchy, my relationship with my father was practically nonexistent. I'd met him back in May, and even then, it wasn't until after I'd gotten back that I found out I was his daughter. All dhampirs had one Moroi parent, and he was mine. I still wasn't sure how I felt about him. Most of his background was still a mystery, but there were plenty of rumors that he was involved with illegal business. People also acted like he was the kneecap-breaking type, and though I'd seen little evidence of this, I didn't find it surprising. In Russia, they called him Zmey: the serpent.

"You two came all the way out—"My jaw dropped "Is he talking to Adrian?" Yup. Flanking his life side, was Adrian Ivashkov, deep in what looked like a friendly conversation. Adrian was my more-or-less boyfriend and a royal Moroi. Like Lissa, he was also another spirit user. He'd been crazy about me ever since we first met, but I'd had eyes only for Dimitri. After the failure in Russia, I'd returned and promised to give Adrian a shot.

Things between us have been…good. Not perfect, but it's been nice to have someone like Adrian to hang out with during my lonely moments. Thinking of the dating proposal he'd written up made me smile. It included things like "I'll give up cigarettes unless I really, really need one" and "I'll unleash romantic surprises every week, such as: an impromptu picnic, roses, or a trip to Paris—but not actually any of those because they're not surprises."

It wasn't anything like with Dimitri—electrifying and complete—but then, I supposed nothing could ever be that way with someone else. Adrian was a totally different person and he made me happy. I was still intent on trying to save my first love—but that didn't mean my romantic life was over—something that took me a long time to accept. For right now, being with Adrian was enough. But that didn't mean I wanted him cozying up to my pirate/mobster father, either. "He's a bad influence!"

My mom snorted. "I doubt Adrian will influence Abe that much."

"Not Adrian! Abe. Adrian's been on good behavior. Abe will mess everything up!"

I _so _didn't need this in my life right now. My list of problems was already full enough, thanks. "Rose," My mother called. I ripped my attention away from them and back to her. Her eyes suddenly scrutinizing me was startling. They were shaded with motherly concern I had only seen in her once, months ago. "Are you okay?"

I was confused by her question—but then realized she was worrying about me, after what happened in the maze. I was nothing, if not embarrassed and frustrated. "I'm fine," I answered automatically. I imagined what she and Eddie had seen was me staring off into the night sky, shocked, and then angry. Perfect. As far as everyone else knew, I was resurrecting my craziness from before.

The look she gave me proved she didn't believe my words. It didn't matter. Lissa ran over, informing us of the little party they were having in Adrian's suite for some novices. I was in no mood for anything party-related, but seeing and sensing her excitement, I smiled anyway and we followed her across the field. My mother and my conversation perished after that. I knew the interrogation wasn't over. Just because Lissa had missed my slip up didn't mean everyone else did. But…had everyone seen what I had? That was probably worse. I didn't know why, but anxious emotions brewed inside of me.

Suddenly, I felt an arm winding around my waist. I glimpsed up to see Adrian had fallen into step with me. He was wearing a soft, ivory top that illuminated his green eyes. Doing things like putting his arm around me or holding my hand was frequent for Adrian. I never responded, but didn't stop him either. He gave me a typical lazy smile. "Wow, watching you kick ass out there, little dhampir, that was…heating things up." He winked.

I playfully bumped his shoulder. I could feel various eyes on me and Lissa's worry. She wasn't on board with me started anything with Adrian after Dimitri. I "needed time to heal". And in her opinion, I especially shouldn't start anything with the plans I had after graduation. Plans that Adrian wasn't aware of. I couldn't bring myself to tell him, knowing it would break his heart. Our relationship wasn't that serious—hanging out, basically—and the biggest physical thing we'd done was Adrian kissing me on the cheek. He knew what a fragile condition I was in right now and couldn't push me. His understanding made it so much harder to have that conversation with him. And a part of me, a small selfish part, didn't want to lose this easy-going relationship we had.

"Hey Lissa," Adrian piped up suddenly. She halted her chatting with Eddie and glanced back at us. Her concerned eyes examined me first before turning her attention to him. "I want to talk to Rose alone for a minute. You guys keep going." He wanted to what? Lissa nodded and everyone continued their walk. Without saying anything else, Adrian steered us over in front of the elementary dorms. I followed him cluelessly. He stopped when we were hidden under the shade of a large oak tree.

His arm slipped off my shoulder and he faced me, uncharacteristically and completely serious. I don't know why, but abrupt butterflies flared inside me. I couldn't tell if they were the good or bad kind. Maybe both. "Adrian, what is this abou—"I froze. Deep within the mist of other trees, I _swear _I saw something move, quickly and skillfully avoiding any other eyes that weren't paying attention. My stomach dipped. _No. Not here. Not now. _I was beginning to internally panic. If it was what I thought it was, I needed to get Adrian out of here—fast. But as soon as I revolved back around to give a warning, I was cut off.

By Adrian kissing me.

Everything from the crown of my head to my toes temporarily shut off. His lips gently pressed against my mouth, testing, before adamantly pressing harder. I wasn't going to lie: despite being caught off guard, the kiss was very nice. His arm resumed its position around my waist, holding me against his body. My wounded heart was waiting to feel _someone else's _fingers through my hair, but it never came. They were different—even with their kissing. Adrian cupped my face, deepening it. _Wow. _

After I recovered from my shock, my body reacted. I leaped away from Adrian, extricating from his hold on me. But it was too late. Even Dimitri was here, I knew he had just seen us kissing. I couldn't believe I was stupid enough to let Adrian take me out here, exposed. Maybe we were safely hidden from _other _eyes, but not Strigoi's. Spinning around, my eyes darted over the shadowed areas, hunting for any movement. Of course he would be able to shield himself perfectly from me, but I still wanted to check.

"Rose?" I turned back to Adrian. He was regarding me with worry. I probably looked like a paranoid freak. I knew today was going to be hard, but _ugh_, this was fucking ridiculous. Feeling guilty for ruining our first kiss, I leaned up to cautiously peck his lips and then twined our fingers together, hauling him away from here as fast as I possibly could. I didn't know if we were safe—if any of us were safe.

* * *

**Uh-oh. Haha, anyway, thanks for reading. Please review guys. I have some great ideas for this story and I want to be able to use them. =) 5 reviews for next chapter! **

**Countdown: 145 days til Spirit Bound! **


	3. Dare You To Move

**Three**

_Maybe redemption has stories to tell  
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell  
Where can you run to escape from yourself?  
_

**D**O YOU EVER have those dreams when you know your dreaming, but you're still scared anyway? It was so surreal for me, running and stumbling through the forest, my heart hammering in my ears. I knew I was a sleep, or at least, knew what was coming next and that terrified me. Sweat was harvesting on my skin. I pushed myself to keep running despite the throbbing of my ankle. _You can't win. _The words whispered to me in a deep, vicious voice. I didn't want to believe them.

Suddenly, I had stopped moving—everything had stopped, standing frozen, like the entire world was holding its breath. The only thing I heard in the spectral silence was my own panting. Then, something crunched behind me, like a foot crushing a twig. Someone's hot breath puffed against my neck. My heart leaped to my throat. I could feel the numbness stretch from my toes to my thighs, holding my legs in place. _"Roza,_" He called in a sing-song voice. Chills popped over my flesh. I couldn't see him, but he was here. "_Why were you running from me?_"

I didn't answer. It felt like paper had been crammed in my throat, blocking off my voice. I couldn't move; couldn't scream. Then I felt his ice cold fingertips slither down my neck. They gently combed through my hair before wrapping pieces around his fingers and yanking my head back. I could only yelp a muffled whimper. His frigid lips pressed against my neck. "_Don't you want me_?" He mocked. His voice was colored by feigned hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to answer him; to acknowledge him. _You're dreaming, you're dreaming, _I repeated to myself. His lips found my ear and he chuckled, the low sound swallowing the silence.

Then suddenly, the scenery changed. It drained all the trees and bushes away until I was standing on the grassy area of St. Vladimir's property. Grunts of battle fury rung around me. The trembling fear inside of me had been replaced by the nausea only Strigoi could evoke. My eyes darted around in the darkness, looking for Christian barbequing a Strigoi or one of the guardians staking them, but I was standing by the cabin alone in the dark. Only...I _wasn't _alone. Strigoi, pale faces, blood red eyes filled with bloodlust and hunger for my death, encircled me. I pulled out my stake, ready to take them down again like I had done before.

"Rose!" A voice shrieked. "Roza!" It repeated louder, more frantic. I glanced around, expecting to see Dimitri among the Strigoi, ready to awaken me, only that wasn't what I saw. Nathan, with his blonde hair and wicked smile, had holding Dimitri with his arms twisted behind his back. Dimitri stared up at me, with frightened eyes I had never seen before. Nathan's fangs were brushing his neck, taunting the both of us. I screamed and screamed, but no sound came out. I was able to charge over to him, but the more I moved, the farther Nathan and Dimitri moved from me. _No, please, no! _I begged, only in my mind. Frustrated tears flushed down my face, but I couldn't do anything.

I was forced to watch Nathan smirk then stab his fangs into Dimitri's neck. I gave a bloodcurdling scream and this time I actually heard it out loud. "Rose, wake up!" My eyes snapped open. Lissa and Adrian were standing over me, both of their faces whiter than usual. My hair was a dark and sweaty tumbleweed around me. I sat up, realizing my face had been buried in the pillow. It's why I couldn't scream until now. Lissa sat down, wrapping her arms around me while Adrian comfortingly rubbed my back. I was still trying to catch my breath. "It's ok," Lissa soothed. Her comforting feelings engulfed me from the bond. "It's over. Just a dream,"

I nodded, but it wasn't the truth. Those things in my nightmare had actually happened. My mind was just reminding me of my unbearable memories. Soon enough, I convinced Lissa I was ok and to go back to get some sleep. She finally left but Adrian wasn't that easy. He sat down, sweetly caressing my damp hair. We stayed in an empty silence for a few moments before I shattered it. "How did you guys know I was having a nightmare?"

Adrian shrugged, but added a lazy smile. I had obviously interrupted his beauty sleep, seeing his tousled brown hair. "I think Lissa has an alarm system for you. She sensed something and got me, and then both of us show up here to find you screaming and crying." His features held a rare gentleness. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

I sighed, leaning my head against his shoulder. My emotions were still a twisted mess, but I managed to speak, my voice husky from screaming. "It wasn't anything you don't know. I saw _him _again, taunting me, and then the Strigoi that turned him." My eyes momentarily squeezed shut. When I opened them, I saw something flash in Adrian's eyes, but didn't ask. I sighed again. "I really just wanna get some real sleep."

Adrian still looked troubled, but he kissed my temple and stood up. "Ok little dhampir, sweet dreams. I'll see you tomorrow." He didn't give me a smile or even another look, stalking out of the room and shutting the door. I stared after him, mystified, but shook it off. I wasn't gonna be able to figure it out—Adrian was full of mysterious

* * *

The next morning I was completely exhausted. Sleep hadn't been my friend that night and today was a very special day for us novices—getting our promise marks. It would be held as soon as the sun set in the chapel. Despite my screwing up during the last test, I knew I was going to pass the trials. I walked through the halls alone, feeling that Lissa was still asleep. Moroi students weren't allowed to visit during these events. Honestly, my heart was aching. Between the nightmares, letters, and missing my mentor, I felt like I had some hole punched in my chest where one half of my heart used to be. I wasn't the same without Dimitri here. I was starting to worry that was never going to change.

Alberta smiled at me when I entered the chapel, then guided me over to the line. Just like when I received my _molnija _marks, all of the guardians were here, but this time they were waiting to congratulate us. Passing trials was an excellent thing. I didn't even look around the room, smart enough to know what I wouldn't find. Alberta's hand on my shoulder proved she knew where my thoughts were this morning. I shrugged off my sorrow and turned to her, feeling the need to make a joke. "Soon enough, I won't have any more room on my neck."

She laughed softly. "That's a good thing, Rose." After that, she excused herself to go discuss something with Kirova and I was left alone, standing in line. There was an uneasy feeling swirling in my stomach. It wasn't Strigoi nausea—I couldn't label it, but I had this strange feeling something was wrong. In silence, I continued moving. _Wow, this is probably the longest I've ever gone without talking. _Then, through the bond, I felt a spark of Lissa's worry.

"Rose Hathaway," Lionel called. He was the same person who had given me my marks after I made my first two kills in Spokane. That felt like an eternity ago. I took a seat in front of him. "Good to see you again," He chuckled. My hair was brushed away and I felt the needle moving over my neck. The words struck my mind: _Y__ou'll wear your promise mark. Of course, that means you'll be all that much more of a challenge when we meet again—which I'll definitely enjoy. And we will meet again. With graduation, you'll be turned out of the Academy, and once you're outside the wards, I'll find you. There is no place in this world you can hide from me. I'm watching._ I bit down hard on my lip. I couldn't tell you if it was from the sting of the needle or the fear of his words.

Once Lionel was finished, I rushed over to wear Eddie was standing. With all my strength, I shoved my fears and Dimitri out of my mind just for today. I finally had my promise mark and I wanted to be able to enjoy the moment. Eddie grinned and hugged me. "Can you believe Stan actually smiled at me? _Stan_?" I laughed at that, and then fell into the conversation with Eddie and my other novice friends. A few of them inquired about why I dropped out a second time, but like the first time, I dodged the question expertly with my infamous witty comebacks and jokes. For once in my life, I wanted to pretend that I was a normal dhampir girl that wasn't shadow-kissed, didn't have a princess/spirit user for a best friend, a famous badass guardian mother, and a Strigoi ex-boyfriend.

It didn't last long, but my mood was definitely better when Lissa called me. _Come to my room. _It still kind of amazed me how she could send those messages through the bond. I excused myself from Eddie and the guys, exiting the chapel. The cool summer breeze greeted me as I stepped outside. My excitement was flooding through me that I barely noticed the anxious feelings pounding from Lissa. I took the long route, wanting to live in my little pretend world for a little bit longer before Lissa had some spirit thing to talk about. But as I went this way, my eyes caught the view of the cabin. It was far off in the distance, but I could still see it. My heart throbbed. "_I love you, Roza. I'll always be here for you_." The words whispered in his warm, loving dhampir voice. I turned my head away from the cabin, muttering "Liar."

By the time I got to Lissa's room, my mood was dropped to neutral and I felt her emotions come slamming into me like bricks. I knocked and a moment later, Adrian opened the door. The same troubled gleam in his eyes was still there, only this time, it looked more worried. He didn't try to smile, just stepped back so I could walk inside. I greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, hoping to lighten his mood. Lissa was sitting on her bed, cross-legged. I went over to hunker down beside her. "Liss," She peered up at me. "What's up?" Her thoughts were so twisted and tangled that I couldn't get a good read on them.

"A lot of things. First, I go to talk to Christian and he slams the door in my face. Then, I get this spooky letter from someone I don't know. And finally, Adrian discovered a new spirit power that I can't do!" Frustration oozed into me. I gave her a side-hug and stood up.

Glancing around the room, I said, "Ok, lemme see this 'spooky letter'." The thought of someone sending death threats to her too angered me more than anything. She pointed to her dresser and I walked over, picking it up, and scanning it. It was brief.

_Vasilisa Dragomir,_

_I have the information you and Rosemarie seek. It only comes with a small price that I think you know what it is. From what I hear, time is running out. Meet me tomorrow night at sunset if you want the information. Bring no one else. _

The was only two people that called me Rosemarie. My mother and "Victor Dashkov," I announced, turning to look at Lissa. From her expression alone, I knew she was praying I wouldn't say it. He didn't sign the letter, but he knew I would recognize his handwriting and know what "information" he was talking about. I took a deep breath. It was exactly what I wanted, but I wasn't ready. Graduation wasn't for another few days. I promised my mother I would stick it out until the end. And surely, I couldn't leave again and take Lissa with me. We didn't have plans or anyway to do this. There was only one person who could help me complete a prison break and I wasn't allowed to bring anyone except Lissa.

"Rose," She said, wearing a small smile. "You've got that expression when you're coming up with a genius, devious plan that could possibly get you expelled. What's going on?" Despite the fact Victor had sent her this letter, I knew Lissa was ready. She was ready to see life beyond St. Vladimir's gates. Going on a crazy mission, besides the danger, was like an adventure to her. It could be fun at times, but I knew how terrifying it could be when you had to face your greatest weakness: the man you love.

I swallowed, and then glanced at Adrian. He was gaping out the window. "Remember that 'fairy tale' happy ending I told you about?" Understanding clicked in. She nodded. "Well, it's time for me to get started on that. I know you said you help, but Liss, I don't know if I can take you—"

She held up her hand to silence me and stood up, crossing the room so we were face to face. "Rose, you're not just my best friend. You're my sister—the only family I've got. If you want to go on a mission that involves Victor, Strigoi, and hell, even dragons, I'm gonna be right behind you. Maybe I won't throw punches like Eddie can, but I can heal and be the support system you need. I _want _to go. So, where to first?"

I beamed and gave Lissa a full hug. Then, we both locked into concentration. "First, we're going to have to go see Victor. I know the letter says only bring you and me, but despite our awesomeness, neither of us can pull off a prison break, so we're gonna need back up." I thought back to my previous choice. It was the only way. "We're gonna have to talk to Christian." Lissa paled but nodded. A hurricane of hurt, frustration, longing, and anger stirred up at his name. I sighed. "Ok, _I'll _talk to Christian. You keep practicing with Adrian."

I turned and ran out of the room. It sucked not being able to detect where he was instantly. My first guess was his room since breakfast had already finished. I sprinted to the male Moroi dorms and found his room, only having a brief _déjà vu _of last time I was doing this, asking for help about using compulsion on a guard to break out of school. Now I needed him to help break out our mortal enemy from jail. Yeah, I was a fantastic person. It took a few knocks, but the door creaked open. Christian stood there, looking cautious and weary. He frowned. "Rose, I'm sorry. I don't want to talk to her—"

I waved a hand dismissively. "I'm not here to discuss your love life drama." I paused. "What would you say if I asked you to help me break someone out of jail?"

Christian looked uncharacteristically taken back. "I would say, Hathaway, you're officially insane and then close the door."

I reached out to shove it open before he could and slipped inside all in one movement. Christian sighed and shut the door. It was surprisingly neat in here. I took a seat on the made bed while he leaned against the wall opposite to me. Despite his typical, kiss-my-ass attitude, he looked exactly like what he was: a heartbroken man. His blue eyes were drenched in hard saddness. It was only after really getting to know Christian Ozera that I learned to see through his mask. "Look, I'm not asking you to do this for Lissa. I'm asking this Christian because, despite all of our fighting and crap, I consider you what of my close friends. So as that friend, could you help me?"

He studied me for a few silent moments then sighed. "Ok, I'm not promising to help yet, but if I did, who would I be releasing?"

I bit my lip then mumbled, "Victor Dashkov."

Christian closed his eyes and inhaled. "Rose—"

I held up my hands defensively. "I know, I know! He's our enemy, releasing him is stupid and ridiculous! Trust me; I'm going to get this lecture from a million other people. But, there's a reason I'm doing this. You of all people should understand." I gave the whole story, in detail, about Mark and Oksana's spirit user friend. How he was Victor Dashkov's half-brother and the only way to reach him, was the give Victor freedom. Then, I elaborated why I was doing this: to change Dimitri back. By the time I was done, Christian was in total shock. I knew coming to him was the right thing for a lot of reasons. He was the only person who could understand my pain of having a loved one turned.

"Holy shit," He breathed, running his fingers through his hair. "That can't be possible, Rose. Turning a Strigoi _back_?" He shook his head. "Either Robert's lying or Victor is just playing you. It's probably been a trap all along. You can't fall for it."

"I know that's a possibility, but how come Victor allowed Natalie to turn so easily? He had a backup plan! It's only because he's a sick bastard that he didn't care she was killed. It's a long shot—but I have to take this chance. If I don't, it would haunt me for the rest of my life. Besides, Dimitri's coming for me anyway. Might as well try this."

Christian nodded. "I understand—and I'm all up for playing prison break." He paused thoughtfully for a few moments. "Ok, I don't know why I'm doing this, but I'll help you. Whatever you need me to do. I'm in."

I grinned and hugged him too. "Awesome." I then told him our deadline was tomorrow and recited Victor's letter. When he asked about Dimitri coming for me, I was reminded Lissa hadn't told him anything because they hadn't talked. So, I told Christian about his letters to me. I actually felt comfortable sharing this with him. Christian understood this. He would never judge about me becoming Dimitri's personal blood whore because if he could, he probably would have done the same thing for his parents. By the time I was done, I felt better about the situation. It was great having someone who could _really _sympathize and get your pain.

After that, I brought Christian to my room, inviting Lissa and Adrian. He was a little reluctant about that but with some threats and jokes, he promised to behave. Once everyone was there, we sat down on the floor, getting ready to plan. Lissa told me she found out where the prison was and printed out a small map of it. We spent the entire afternoon going over our plan again and again, making sure it would work and then constructing a backup plan. I didn't even get to gloat about my promise mark. Adrian was coming along to drive us, but couldn't get out of the car. Christian would wait for him until we finished our chat with Victor to see if he would really pull through.

This _wasn't _gonna be easy.

* * *

The next morning, we all got up an hour earlier than usual. It took at least 15 extra minutes to get Adrian out of his bed. After some disturbing threats of burning his ass from Christian, he got up and we snuck out of our dorms. We had dressed in black clothing, just to add the effect. I at least got to wear these awesome leather boots. As we rounded the perimeter of the school, I was reminded of my sighting of Dimitri. I had to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. I imagined it. There was no way he could get past the wards.

Humming the 007 theme music, we ran to Adrian's car. "Shot gun!" I yelled and clambered into the passenger's seat. Adrian flashed me a discreet thumbs up, leaving Lissa and Christian in the back seat together. Neither looked happy with the arrangement. I rolled my eyes at them and we pulled out of the parking lot. Butterflies popped my stomach. I had a rare moment of nervousness for the mission in front of us. Here I was, yet again, risking my entire future just to save Dimitri. I closed my eyes, thinking about the cabin. I shouldn't have been thinking about that, especially with Adrian right next to me, but it was the only thing that kept me calm and willing to do this, no matter how painful.

I had to keep telling myself that: I was doing this for him. Maybe then, I get through this and pull it off. _I love you, Dimitri_. I could do this.

* * *

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope everyone has a fantastalistic 2010! Thanks so much for my reviews. I'm so happy everyone likes this story. It's inspiring me to keep writing. I just want everyone to know that if I don't update for like, a week, it doesn't mean I've given up on the story. Eventually, I will post the next chapter when I find the time and energy to write it and then remember to put it up. Plus, I need to have inspiration and ideas or it will come out like crap. So, so far so good. =) Thanks. 5 reviews for next chapter. **


	4. Hello, Goodbye

**Four**

_I say high,  
you say low.  
You say why, (why!)  
and I say I don't know_

**"T**HIS IS GOOD, PULL IN HERE." I whispered to Christian. We had been driving for a total of 6 hours and had switched positions. Adrian was passed out in the passenger's seat while Lissa was asleep, leaning on my shoulder in the back with Christian driving. It was pass all our normal curfews which I knew meant we had to stop at a hotel for the night. The Moroi prison Victor was at was somewhere in Nebraska. We still had a few more hours of driving to go. Christian parked the car and then smacked Adrian repeatedly with his jacket until the Royal Moroi woke up. I shot Christian a warning look and then gently woke Lissa up. We all dismounted from the car and gathered the small amount of luggage we brought along. Somewhat conscious, Adrian told us he'd take care of the rooms. We went inside some hotel that could have been for humans for all I knew at this hour. It took a few long minutes but Adrian approached us with the keys and we all dragged ourselves off the couches in the lobby and into the elevator.

"What did you get us?" I questioned Adrian in a whisper, leaning my cheek against the cool metal of the elevator wall to keep myself from passing out. Christian was so out of it I don't think he even realized Lissa was leaning against him. I had another mission to take care of while we were gone: Get the lovebirds back together. I hated seeing them both so miserable. They didn't understand what they had right in front of them. If Dimitri and I were publically free to love like Lissa and Christian were, I wouldn't let _anything _break us up. They were lucky. We had struggled and suffered too much.

Adrian rubbed his eyes, but smirked triumphantly. "A suite with three bedrooms. We don't have to check out until tomorrow night."

I nodded. It took a few moments for my sleepy, stressed mind to absorb what he had just told me. Then my head snapped up. "Wait," I said too loudly. "You got _three _rooms? Adrian, do you not know how to count? There are _four _of us!" The elevator then dinged and reopened the doors. I stomped out of it.

Adrian trotted in front of me, leading our group down the quiet hallway. The walls were a peaceful, light green color decorated with paintings of forests and beaches. The aroma of flowers wafted over me and I assumed it was because of the poinsettias and daises that hung every few feet from the wall, encircling a light. The floors were carpeted in black. Once we reached the end of the corridor, Adrian plugged the keys into a white door and held it open for us. He simply smiled pleasantly as I passed by, frowning at him.

Without a word, Christian retreated to one of the rooms and locked the door, leaving the three of us to deal with the fact there was only 2 bedrooms left. Then to my absolute astonishment, Lissa sent me apologetic emotions that matched her face and took off into the other bedroom. "Lissa!" I yelled after her. Adrian laughed. Scowling, I turned to Adrian. "You're sleeping on the couch," I told him, beginning to walk away.

Before I could get too far, more surprise filled me, as Adrian wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back against his chest. His lips were pressed against my ear lobe. "Look Rose, I know you and I aren't exactly the world's strongest couple. I know you're still scarred from…._him_, but all I'm asking for is a chance. You'll never learn how to get over everything if you stay stuck on the past."

"Damn it, Adrian." I ripped away from his hold, spinning around to face him in one quick motion—guardian style. I was speechless for a second, all of my bruised emotions rumbling inside of me until they exploded. "You have no idea how hard all of this is for me. I loved him Adrian—_loved_. I think I still do. I'm not trying to run away from you. I told you, I need time. We'll share a room tonight, but that's it."

His green eyes glowed in the dark night. Then, he kissed me again. "Thank you." I watched him disappear into the bigger, other bedroom. I took a deep, calming breath. He was being so patient, so understanding. Guilt and sorrow consumed me. I wanted to return those feelings, to clean myself of all the difficult times I been through with Dimitri. But I just couldn't do that, not yet. I could feel it—my scared, sore heart aching in my chest. It wanted only one person and I couldn't do anything to make the pain stop. "Rose?" Adrian's voice suddenly called from behind me. I exhaled heavily and walked into the bedroom.

* * *

The next morning I was awoken by the door being thrown open, slamming against the lavender wall. I jumped up, turning to see Christian standing there. His black hair was ruffled around his face and from his expression I could tell he'd been awake as long as I had. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black pants. I got all of this in a glimpse before he raised his arm and chucked something at me.

Half-conscious, it was my dhampir reflexes that saved me from getting whacked in the head. I got the item and examined it to see what he just threw at me. Before I could ask, Christian slammed the door shut, presumably returning to bed. The clock on the nightstand told me it was only 6. I blinked and saw the item was a phone. It didn't have any caller ID to tell me who it was. Adrian was still passed out beside me and admittedly, he looked really adorable and even innocent when he was sleeping. I smiled a little and dismounted from the bed, padding over to the balcony the master bedroom had.

A cool summer breeze splashed over my face as soon as I stepped outside. The balcony gave view to the city below, containing lots of buildings and congested streets. The architecture was poor compared to what I had seen in Russia. Yawning, I saw the sun was dipping into the western sky, still not nighttime yet. It lit up like a golden diamond. I sighed contently as its lasts bits of warmth flowed over me. I missed the sun so much. After taking those moments to myself, I glanced down at the phone before bringing it to my ear. "Hello?" I greeted.

The voice that answered was on the bottom of the list of people I expected to hear. I thought it would probably be Alberta or Kirova to yell at me for taking Lissa out of school again. It _was _Saturday but I still should have been on the Academy's grounds. My mother was another reasonable guess. Hell, I even expected Dimitri to call me. If he could send letters—and possibly visit me at school—then why not call? But no, it wasn't any of those people.

It was Sydney.

"Rose," Her voice sounded strangely relieved that I answered. I was overcome with shock that out of all the people who were probably looking for me, she called. "Thank God, I got a hold of you!" She exclaimed.

"Sydney, hey," I smiled. It was nice to hear from her—catching up with an old friend. After all the disaster in Russia, I at least got something good from it. I briefly wondered how she knew to call me _here_. "How's Red Hurricane?"

She laughed a little. It was shaky and even sounded nervous. There was another voice on the end, someone angry, and the laughter cut off immediately. "Um yeah, he's great. Listen Rose, I'm here in Montana doing some….Alchemist stuff, so I wanted to know if you would like to meet somewhere just to hang out."

Wow. Sydney wasn't mean or anything but her actually wanting to hang out with me wasn't something I expected, either. I thought about the mission I was on and the time limit. Graduation was only 3 days away. After I got my information from Victor, I had to get all of us back to school. A detour wasn't on my agenda. But…I probably wouldn't see Sydney again until—if I ever—returned to Siberia. Those were _really _slim odds. She probably didn't have any other Alchemist friends to hang out with.

"Ok," I answered, nodding. "Where exactly are you, in Montana?" We swapped locations and then picked out a place to meet up. I decided to come alone and let the others rest and relax before things got difficult, which, undoubtedly would happen. This was _my _life we're talking about. Of course things would get complicated. After that, I said my goodbyes to Sydney and hung up, slipping back inside.

The bed was vacant and crumpled. I took the time to make it, feeling like a housewife the entire time. It was ridiculous of course. I would never be able to have that future of just staying home, waiting for my husband to return from work. It was a luxury someone like, say, Lissa could have but never me. When I was done, a shadow of sadness enveloped me. God, I was being so depressing lately. When I emerged into the kitchen/living room area of the suite, I found Lissa and Adrian sitting at the long, glass table with plants in front of them.

Lissa sensed my presence and turned to grin at me, bubbling with excitement. "Rose, you gotta come see this." She beckoned me over. I obliged, taking the seat beside her. I figured Christian was still in bed, content on getting sleep. Adrian smiled at me briefly then concentrated on the potted plant in front of him. I waited for it to sprout up, suddenly full of life from Spirit. Instead, something equally remarkable happened.

The plant died.

I watched in amazement as slowly, the life was drained away. The stem and leaves darkened to a bleak, brown color. The plan itself began to curl inward. By the time the transformation was over, my jaw was hanging open. I peered up at Adrian. "What the _hell _did you just do?"

Both of them laughed. Lissa was the one to answer me. "This was the new power I wanted to tell you about." Those depressed, jealous feelings were coated by her excitement of a new discovery. "We experimented this for a while. Instead of bringing something to life, we did the opposite and used to spirit to take it away."

Suddenly, I felt sick to my stomach. Flashes of that night when Lissa used her supercompulsion on Jesse struck my mind. I could hear her deadly, calm voice right in my ears—could feel the blackness swirling inside of me again. I swallowed. "Liss," My tone caused her to look at me, with worry and confusion. "I…I don't think you should be doing that."

Her confusion doubled. "What? Why? This is amazing stuff, Rose. You can't even imagine the power I'm feeling." She paused. "Well, technically you _can _feel it, but you know what I mean. This is the type of stuff—"

I cut her off, anger biting into me. "The type of stuff Strigoi would use, if they could. Draining lives from people? Lissa, that's twisted and wrong. Spirit is about bringing things to life—not killing them." I took a deep breath to calm myself. It sickened me to see my best friend doing things like this. Adrian, too. Strigoi and people like Victor would abuse this power if they could. I couldn't allow Lissa to cross over to that. Not again.

Now, she was starting to get angry. "We're not going to use it on people."

"Hell right you won't." I snapped.

Lissa shot up from her chair, taking the plant back to where it had been sitting. Then she turned to me. Her anger and frustration slammed over me like a whirlpool. "I can't believe I thought you would be excited for me. You just don't understand." Then, she stalked off, back to her room, her flip flops clacking behind her.

I sighed and looked at Adrian. He hadn't moved or said anything the entire time. Obvious exhaustion was painted over his features. Doing that magic had tired him. Otherwise, he look just as surprised at I did about Lissa's reaction. "Am I wrong here?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"No, not completely." I scoffed, but he continued. "Little dhampir, you're right about using it on people. It would be wrong and twisted and all that stuff to do that. But you have to understand what it's like for Lissa and me. We can't set Strigoi on fire or cause earthquakes like other people can. Discovering new Spirit powers is exciting for us."

Damn. He was right. I wasn't going to confess that, of course. Instead, I stood up. "Whatever. _She _needs to understand that last time a 'new power' was used; she was possessed by spirit darkness that I took away. _I _suffered the consequences of it. And if something like that happens again, I'll have to deal with it, _again_." With that said, I mimicked Lissa's action, storming out of the room.

* * *

An hour later, I was showered and getting dressed to go meet Sydney. I dressed in a pair of jeans, with a long-sleeve, dark red top and black sneakers. I tucked my stake into my back pocket and was ready to go. From what I could feel, Lissa was still in her room. She wasn't as angry with me as before, but still upset. I decided to patch things up later when I got back. After a short explanation to Christian and Adrian—promising to bring back food—I left.

We had decided to meet at some diner in Eureka. I drove around for a little while, scanning the city and checking for the nearest airport. We might have to fly to get to the prison in time before we had to leave for graduation. By the time I found the diner, it was already 9. It was a small, all-night restaurant with an old, crumbling dry cleaner next door. The area itself was very lonely and bare. It was mostly just a street that led to stores, but those were miles and miles away. I climbed out of the car and let my eyes prowl over the area. Not a person was in sight. On the left side of the diner were a street lamp and a pay phone. The left side was a dark alley that separated it from the abandoned cleaners.

_Why would Sydney pick this place? _The first time we met, she took me to a much nicer, populated restaurant. Not that I was being picky or anything. Something just felt strange about it. I shrugged it off and started walking. One black Honda was parked a few feet away from the street lamp. It was the only car there and I assumed it was one of the employee's cars. I guess she wasn't here yet. I went inside just to check. Like I thought, the diner was empty, save for the eager waitress and bored man behind the cash register. I told them I was waiting for a friend and then stepped back outside.

Bad idea.

As soon as I was outside, I got a short warning of Strigoi nausea. I pulled out my stake, feeling protected with it in my grip. My eyes skimmed the area to find it empty again. The nausea was still there—and strong too, letting me know the alleged Strigoi was close. I took a few steps closer to my car, eyes still searching. My hunt ended when I heard the sound of metal being beat by something. A dumpster. I smirked and switched my direction toward the alley. This Strigoi thought they were being clever. Ha, obviously they didn't know they were messing with Rose Hathaway.

Sydney was stripped from my mind as I stepped into the alleyway. I was in full Guardian mode, ready to attack. Indeed, two metal dumpsters sat side by side in one corner. It was a dead end. The repulsive scent of their garbage blew over me. I ignored it the best I could and moved closer. _Come out, come out, _I thought. The nausea was stronger than ever. I had to be careful. This Strigoi was right on top of me. The dumpster shook suddenly. I whipped around and ran towards it, waiting for the lid to pop open and Strigoi to jump out with it. I was getting impatient with the game they were playing.

I walked around the dumpster, silently gasping when I saw it wasn't being shaken by anything. Shattered pieces of glass that clearly came from bottles were scattered on the floor around it. The Strigoi had been _throwing _the bottles at the metal. As soon as I realized this, I looked up at the roof of the diner seeing it empty and then to the dry cleaners' roof. It was too late for that. What was going on? Someone chuckled behind me.

Today was full of surprises. I whirled around and found myself staring into startlingly familiar red eyes. Every nerve in my body froze over, like ice through my veins. This was _not _part of the plan. "Hmm," He mused. "I guess I wasn't very clear on my lessons, was I? Well, it's time to see how much the academy taught you."

_Oh shit. _

* * *

**Yeah, I know this chapter is pretty short. Sorry. It comes out a lot longer on Microsoft Word. Anyway, thanks so much for my reviews. You guys are so awesome and sweet. I just want to warn everyone that I'm grounded so there will not be an update until the weekend when I get my laptop back. It sucks, but that's what happens when you fail an Algebra test. Sorry guys. 5 reviews for the next chapter! **

**_134 days til Spirit Bound! _**


	5. Turn It Off

**Five **

_It's all wrong, the way we're working  
Towards a goal that's non-existent  
It's not existent, but we just keep believing  
_

**D**IMITRI—RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

It was almost as frighteningly shocking to see him as the first time. Thankfully, he didn't knock me out with a blow to the head—which I wasn't exactly proud of. I absorbed the image of him with the same brown duster, brown hair framing his face and curling around his chin, and—Oh God—deep pools of brown eyes, ringed in red. I couldn't believe this. How did he find me? I mean, I knew he said he would, but that was after graduation. Well, I guess he's one of those impatient Strigoi like Elena. Then, it hit me like ice water poured over my body. Dimitri. Strigoi. Fight. Simple equation. This time, there was no hesitation. I leaned back slightly, hoisted up my leg, and kicked out.

Of course with that annoying inhuman speed, Dimitri flew to the left, dodging my kick. His eyes glowed with amusement. I struck out with my leg again. Dimitri caught my ankle. I took a moment to balance myself so I wouldn't fall backwards then scowled at him, tugging on his grip. "Now Roza," he began, his tone mocking, "This isn't a very warm welcome." Quick as lightning, he shoved my foot back, and despite my attempts, I dropped right onto my ass. Embarrassment touched me, but I worked hard to lock up my emotions. If I didn't, they would distract and hold me back. This wasn't Dimitri I was fighting right now. I needed to keep reminding myself of that or I would fail again.

I then snorted as his comment. "Were you expecting one?" I ducked from his swinging arm then landed a kick to his chest. He took a step back from the impact but otherwise didn't move. It was a powerful kick that would have sent Eddie and even my mother flying backwards into the wall. But not him. I grunted in frustration and charged forward. Unexpectedly, Dimitri snatched my wrists then hauled us both back until I bumped into the wall behind me. As soon as he stopped moving, I struggled against his grasp, kicking hard against his legs. I managed to knock him in the stomach, but just like at Galina's, in this position I was pretty much immobile. I _hated _being in this vulnerable position. He could easily bite me right here and be done with it.

Only he didn't. I finally gave up my fighting back and glanced up at him. Dimitri was just staring down at me. All emotions were concealed from his eyes. His taunting smirk flattened into a disapproving frown. "You can do better than this, Rose." He scolded. "I _taught _you better than this." I lifted up and rammed my knee into his stomach. He didn't even flinch, just shook his head with mocking disappointment. It fueled my anger and frustration. Some old part of me couldn't stand to let Dimitri down. I wanted to make him proud. To be the best in front of him. "Did you not pay attention to _any _of my lessons?" I didn't get to answer. He kept going, tightening his grip on my wrists. I couldn't believe he hadn't just killed me already. Not that I wasn't grateful, but really, what was he waiting for?

"What am I supposed to do?" I growled back. I wanted to fight—to have him fight back. This might as well have been any other practice when we were just running laps and I wasn't learning anything. My heart squeezed at those memories, but I ordered it to calm down so I didn't screw up again.

Dimitri's frown deepened. I noticed the moonlight didn't shine on the alley. It made the red in his eyes pop out at me. I swallowed. "Think," he commanded, pushing me harder against the wall. I squirmed but still couldn't move. "What did I teach you to do in this position? Aren't you supposed to be graduating soon, Roza? You're not going to be able to protect Lissa very well if a basic movement holds you down."

That slam woke me up. His instruction shouted suddenly in my head. It was a similar technique I used when my mother had me pinned during trials. I shifted my weight against the wall, hoisting myself up, and then throwing my full force against his body. Dimitri stumbled two steps back. He smirked tauntingly. "Good—but you can do so much better." Then, he attacked me again.

This time I was ready. Blocking his hits was getting a little easier—but not much. When we fought in the forest and by the bridge, his strength had been at its lowest point after taking down those 3 Strigoi. Maybe I was recharged, but so was he. Finally after 10 more minutes into our fighting, Dimitri spoke again. The air of smugness and mockery was radiating from him. It was so different from the cruel personality he had back in Novosibirsk. I tried to not think about it too much, but it bothered me. "So, it was awfully kind of your _friend _to lead you to me." What the hell is he talking about? Was it possible for Strigoi to get drunk? Maybe that's why he was acting so strange. "Wasn't too hard to get her to agree. She's absolutely terrified of 'creatures of the night'."

_Oh my gosh. _It clicked. A wave of shock swallowed me, but then it was perished by my smoldering anger. That fury allowed me to punch his chest much harder than I normally would have been able to. "What did you do with Sydney?!" I yelled. Horrible images of her being kidnapped like I had been were flashing through my mind. Did Dimitri convince her with his intoxicating bite like he had with me? Or did he simply compulse her into it? Or what if it was worse than that? My stomach twisted.

Breezily recovered from my blow, Dimitri smirked. "I didn't do anything with her—only you."

My jaw nearly dropped. I couldn't believe he had just said that. It was a remark I could hear Jesse or Adrian using—not Dimitri! Regardless, a blush colored my cheeks. "That's not what I meant!" I snapped back. Dimitri chuckled, but didn't stop. With my emotions boiling, distracting me, he managed to knock me on my back. Infuriated—and more embarrassed that I would care to admit—I rolled away from his next hit and sprung up. "Where is she?" I demanded.

He ignored my question, doing an interrogation of his own. We had stopped our battle for a minute. I wondered if he was as exhausted as I was starting to feel. My adrenaline rush was slowly dimming. "So, I haven't seen you for a few months." His casual tone reminded me too much of the one Victor used. It sickened me to be able to compare them right now. "Have you learned anything new in school?"

My Rose Hathaway bravado shone as I snarkily replied, "Yeah, about Alchemists. Do you know where I could find one?"

The exaggerated look Dimitri gave me made my heart stop. He wasn't supposed to be able to feel those emotions anymore. Frantically, I scanned his face. No. Same pale skin and red-rimmed eyes. I couldn't label it, but I knew in my soul _something _was different. Dimitri responded flatly, "At church."

His answer made the previous anger resurface. "Where is she?" I finally exploded. If she was dead….oh God, it would be _my _fault. It was one thing to have Dimitri hold me captive and use me as his personal blood bank. But to mess with innocent people, especially people I cared about, like Sydney—I couldn't handle that.

"Relax Roza," Dimitri said heedlessly. "I'm not going to hurt her. She did what I asked her to do. Why would I purposelessly hurt her?"

"Because you're Strigoi!" I shouted, losing my cool. "To hurt someone just for the fun of it is part of who you are!" I was seeing red. What if he killed her? Panic was rising in me, fast.

Dimitri gaped back at me. His expression was familiarly calm, just like it always was when I freaked out about something. I couldn't stand this. He was acting too much like himself. I felt like I was trying to catch smoke with my bare hands. It was useless to try and "relax" when everything was being tangled up into something I didn't understand. It was like arguing about my future with Deirdre, like I had options and decisions. This situation frustrated and confused me to the point of hysteria.

I took a deep breath. _Control yourself, Rose_. Once I had shoved my emotions back into a box in my mind, I glanced at Dimitri. His eyes were still blank, but his expression was thoughtful as he stared at one of the dumpsters. My hands curled into fists. Why didn't he take the opportunity why I was losing it to attack? It was the second time he let the chance go. Was I missing something? Last time I checked, my option at immortality was the only thing Dimitri could see. Now, for a Strigoi, he was doing a half-assed job at taking down his prey.

Suddenly, Dimitri turned to look at the sky. His enhanced senses enabled him to see past the alley, where I couldn't. But I imagined by now, it was almost sunrise. I waited, hands on my hips, glaring at him until Dimitri turned back to me. "I'm sorry to say it's time for me to go." He stroked my cheek delicately with his fingers. Before I could flinch or get the snarky response off my lips, Dimitri flew over to the dumpsters, climbing on one, and elevated himself onto the rooftop of the dry cleaners all in the blink of an eye, literally.

I couldn't see him, but I shouted to the sky, knowing he could hear, "That was the worst fight I've ever been in!" All I heard was echo of laughter before it was silent.

* * *

By the time I got back to the hotel, I was completely exhausted. When I walked inside, I didn't even look at anyone, just dropped the food I bought on the counter in the kitchen and retreated to my room. Just like I had expected, someone knocked as soon as I shut the door. Frowning, I opened it to surprisingly see all three of my friends staring back at me. Lissa's concern sluiced over me. I crossed my arms over my chest. "What?"

"What," Lissa repeated, raising her brows. "What happened to you?" She wiggled inside the room, past me with Adrian and Christian trailing behind her. I sighed and shut the door, leaning against it. Judging by my reflection, I understood her concern. My hair was a tangled mess. My clothes were wrinkled. And there was something—I'm guessing dirt—smeared over my left pant leg. It looked exactly like what is was: I'd been in a fight.

Apparently, Christian didn't see it that way. He took in my messy appearance then smirked. "Did you have sex in mud or something, Rose?"

I promptly flipped him off, walking over to the vanity to at least fix my hair. There was a whispered argument behind me before Lissa continued. "Seriously, Rose, what happened? Was there a Strigoi you ran into? Did you find Sydney?"

I flinched at the last question, my hands curling into fists. I also felt some irritation that one of them had shared the information about where I had went without my permission. Silently, I twisted my hair up into a bun then frowned. _Wear your hair up_. Was it impossible to escape him? Probably. Then, Lissa's impatience attacked me. I sighed and turned to them. "I was in a fight. Yes, there was a Strigoi. No, I didn't find Sydney. Are we done with the interrogation now?"

Lissa read the emotions on my face then without warning, gave me a hug. I returned it half-heartedly then rotated back around to stare out the window. It was deadly silent for a few minutes. My mind was still humming from the night's events. Now I had two more things to add to my list. First, find Sydney. Second, somehow manage to avoid Dimitri. Yeah, I couldn't do the first while succeeding in the second one. Time was running out and I didn't have a lot of it to begin with. I sighed heavily, keeping my eyes on the moon. "You guys go eat. We're leaving in an hour."

Once they left, I spent that hour doing as much research as I could about the prison and all I could say was: damn. Not only was it impossibly guarded, but the prison itself was its own form of torture. I had to give Queen Tatiana her props. It took a lot of guts to send a Royal Moroi—a _prince_ especially to a place like this. The prison was located on an island—yes, surrounded by water—that took boats and ferries to reach it. There were numerous, stone buildings with one small window in each room. Those buildings were encircled around a large court where for an hour every day, the prisoners were released to get fresh air, eat, and socialize. If they behaved, they were allowed out to do some services like mopping or helping in the cafeteria—all while being monitored. The only detail I found about when the prisoners _didn't _behave, like starting fights, was that their freedom time was cut down to 30 minutes. If I didn't hate him, I would feel bad for Victor.

After I finished my research, I packed all our things up and wrote down some newly found details about the prison. I honestly had no idea how the hell we were going to pull this off. Even if we managed to sneak into the prison, they place was covered with guards. We were going to need one hell of a detraction. Finally, we checked out of our room and were on the road again with me driving this time. I was uncharacteristically cautious as I drove, my mind fabricating ridiculous fantasies about Dimitri popping up and attacking. I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about him and stop worrying about Sydney. By the time we switched drivers, I think everyone noticed the daze I was in.

"Rose," Adrian whispered to me in the back seat. Lissa had some "peaceful" music playing that was agony for the rest of us, but we didn't verbalize it. He placed his hand over my bare arm. I jumped at his touch. Not because it sent delicious shock waves through my body, but because it was ice cold. Guiltily, I averted my eyes. When would my heart get the memo that this was Adrian next to me, not _him_? It kept waiting for his touch and then I would burn with disappointment when it never came. It was _really _irritating. "Rose," Adrian said again. This time I looked up. "Are you alright?"

_No. How could I be? I'm on my way to release my immortal enemy because the love of my life is an evil vampire that wants to kill me and he's the only one that has the information I desperately need to save said love. _I didn't say that of course. Instead I mumbled, "Yeah. I'm fine." Adrian nodded in response. Was he being nice, pretending to believe me? Or….could he not tell that I was lying through my teeth? My heart broke all over again. I wanted Adrian to understand me. I wanted Adrian to see through me and call me out on my lies. If the universe really believed Dimitri was my soul mate, why did they take him away from me? Tears soaked my eyes. I shoved them back.

Now Adrian noticed there was something wrong. He wore a rare expression of concern. It was really sweet—and made me feel even worse. "Hey," he frowned, "don't cry, little dhampir." His arm slung around my shoulder, pulling me against him. Thankfully, his jacket was toasty warm. Adrian silently rubbed my back for a few minutes. Once he realized I wasn't crying at all, he leaned back to look into my eyes. I had managed to keep the tears inside. I hated crying and tried to do it as little as possible. Sometimes though, like dealing with the aftermath of Spokane, I couldn't hold them back. "Don't lie to me, Rose. What's wrong?"

I laughed humorlessly. "What _isn't_ wrong? Adrian, I'm about to break Victor Dashkov out of prison! You want to tell me what's right about it?" I shook my head, wiping away a tear. I was trying so hard to not have a break down, but my emotions were piling up on me and they wanted to break free. I slumped back in my seat, taking a few deep breaths. When I was as calm as I could be, I glanced at Adrian. His eyes were narrowed, staring off at nothing. "Now what's wrong with you?"

Adrian blinked. His eyes were still hard and I noticed his jaw was a little clenched. "I'm just trying to understand why you're even going through with this." He didn't let me answer, continuing with, what I realized was, a rant. His voice escalated in volume with every sentence. "You're putting yourself in danger—for what? I don't know the details, but I'm sure Belikov did some awful things to you. Now you're working your ass off to save him. It doesn't make any sense."

My impulsive nature returned. "It doesn't make sense because you don't understand!" I snapped. I didn't even realize how angry I had become. "Ok, maybe _Dimitri _treated me horribly, but he's a Strigoi. It's his nature to be that way. The Dimitri I fell in love with would never do that to me, which is why I can do this for him. Because he would have done it for me without even hesitating to think about it. But of course it doesn't make sense to you, Adrian, because you don't understand what it's like to love someone that way! You don't understand how it feels to have them ripped away from you without a chance to say goodbye!" Finally, a tear broke from my eye, dripping down my cheek.

Adrian stared at me, eyes wide in astonishment and hurt. Christian and Lissa had heard what I said too, but I was too upset to care. I scooted away from Adrian, leaning my head against the window and closing my eyes. My heart was throbbing in quick beats, working hard from my outburst. It did feel a little good to get my feelings out, but I knew I would regret it later. Adrian's cold fingers touched my arm. I shook them off. "Leave me alone, _Ivashkov_." I spat, in a whisper. His fingers slipped off me. Exhaustion won me over as I was pulled under into sleep. If I realized what horrible things I had just said, maybe I wouldn't have said them.

* * *

The rest of the car ride was agonizingly and awkwardly silent. Lissa's emotions pounded into me but I did my best to block them out, napping most of the drive. We stopped only once to get some food, barely speaking as we did so. Lissa and Christian were already in an uncomfortable place and now Adrian and I had followed them. I couldn't fight the regret that swallowed me as soon as I had woken up. My words were so harsh and heartless. It just really hurt me to hear Adrian to talk about Dimitri like that. I guess blaming him wouldn't be right though. Jealousy had probably made him say those things. I wasn't strong enough to believe he said them because he actually cared.

It was another hour of driving after we left from lunch. This time I sat with Lissa in the front. Before I could return to my napping, she tapped me on the arm. "Here," Lissa said and took my hand, sliding the ring Mark had given me onto my third finger on my left hand. It was an ironic place to put it, but I smiled gratefully, asking why she'd given it to me. Lissa shrugged. "I know these have been the hardest 3 months of your life. I just figured this would help to soothe you and maybe make you feel better." Then, she bit her lip. Remorse, guilt, and other kind feelings flooded from the bond. "Rose, I'm really sorry for blowing up on you. I shouldn't have done that."

I smiled again, shaking my head. "No, I overreacted. It's just an overprotective guardian thing," I joked and Lissa laughed. She returned her attention to the road, leaving me to my thoughts. I was just happy one relationship was able to be fixed during this disatrous weekend. My eyes dropped to the ring. I ran one finger over the cool, smooth material. Just as before, I couldn't feel its magic, but I knew it was working, slowly gathering my emotions and putting them under control. Little was said, but I was able to talk to Lissa—and Christian who was listening—about the prison. I replayed the information I collected earlier. As I explained, my mind was reeling as I began to plan ways of getting into the prison.

"Oh God," Lissa gasped. Her green eyes were wide with worry and shock. I knew the facts were disturbing, especially to people who actually thought things through like her, and of course, not like me. I approached things with more of a "worry about it later" attitude, following my gut. It got me into trouble 95% of the time, but hey, I wasn't Mother Theresa ok? "It's on _water_? How are we supposed to get him out? Break away on a boat?" Surprisingly, Christian laughed along with me. His and Lissa's eyes locked in the rearview mirror before she shyly looked away. Her heart twinged with longing and misery. I peered back at Christian. I got a brief glimpse of the same pain and damaged love before he too looked away.

I rolled my eyes. "Good God, you guys are worse than Romeo and Juliet!" I moaned. _Rose! _Lissa shouted over to me with mortification. I ignored that, looking out the window. My eyes widened and a gasp escaped my lips. Three "what?"s echoed.

"We're here."

* * *

**Ha! I love cliff hangers. Anyway, thanks again for my awesome reviews. Still grounded so my updating isn't as quick as it should be. Well, I hope everyone enjoyed Dimitri's first official appearance in the story. Lemme know what you think about it. 6 reviews for next chapter. 129 days til Spirit Bound! **

**Poll: Who do you want Rose to end up with? **


	6. Kiss Me, Kill Me

**Six**

_A tragedy that's built on destiny  
It left you with everything but  
Blood from the knife that I cut your heart out with  
Now relax, close your eyes, what comes next is the surprise  
_

**I **COULD SEE IT CLEARLY, even if it was miles and miles away. The expertly hidden, intensely guarded, beyond strict Moroi prison, out in what seemed to be the middle of the sea. It was supported by a wooden dock, anchored down into the water, with at least 20 boats placed here and there around it. Even from the car, I could see some guardians hovering the entrance and the perimeter of all the buildings. That old adrenaline sensation was beginning to restore in my veins. I wasn't sure if it had to do with me being shadow kissed, but I _loved _the rush of doing dangerous things. This was definitely one of them. Yeah, it sounded a little crazy, but according to almost everyone that knew me, I _was _crazy.

Christian's sarcastic voice brought me back to reality. "Well, let's look at the bright side. If those thousand guardians don't put us in jail, at least the sharks in the water can eat us!"

I whirled around, glaring. "Or maybe we can sacrifice _you _to the sharks, Christian." I replied, drenched with fake sweetness. Lissa and even Adrian laughed at that. I took another peek at the prison, then climbed out of the car. The others followed me. Lissa pulled out our map and we gathered in a semi-circle on the grassy area we parked at. Just behind us were docks, a fishing store, and a place to rent boats. Adrian suggested we take a jet ski, but after reminding him we weren't on vacation, we all set aside our jokes for now to focus on the mission. First, I looked at the two spirit users. "Guys, this is where your supercompulsion can be used for something only semi-evil. I'm gonna need you to distract as many guards as possible. Can you do that?" Adrian nodded immediately, seeming thrilled at some rule breaking. I knew Lissa on the other hand was totally against using those powers, especially for something like this. But being the loyal best friend she is, nodded too. "I'll dispatch as many as I can, too."

"What do I get to do?" Christian demanded. I smirked a little. Of course he wouldn't want to be left out of something like this. I had thought long and hard during our drive about what I can use Christian's fire for. Making a bonfire out of the guards wasn't exactly the way to go. How else could I manipulate his powers? Simple.

"Blow up the prison cell," I answered, my smirk widening. Just like I expected, Christian's eyes glowed with anticipation at his job. Lissa looked completely mortified at being a part of this and I felt bad for dragging her into this. I could tell she was terrified out of her mind about the whole plan. I had to admit, seeing Victor again was scary for me too—and nauseating—but I had to do this....didn't I? Suddenly, I had a brief moment of wondering why I was doing this in the first place. Was Adrian right? Dimitri _had_ done horrible things to me as a Strigoi. But, as soon as my thoughts said his name, my hesitation washed away. It was like pressing play on a slideshow. All of our memories together, our struggles, our kisses, everything flashed through my mind. No. Adrian was wrong. I knew why I was doing this. If anything, I owed it to my mentor who taught me everything I know, saved my life, saved my ass from getting into trouble on more than one occasion. Then, there was the fact this was _Dimitri's _soul. That in itself was more than enough.

We then went over our strategy one more time. First, we had to get a boat. That was the easy part. Adrian was able to walk right over to the shop and rent one for the day. His money was really coming in handy for me lately. I decided to talk to him when this was done and apologize for my snapping. Here he was, along with Christian and Lissa, risking his life and possibly freedom for me. His intentions were good. Once we had our boat, ready in the water, our plan was to take out—meaning _me_—4 guards and steal their uniforms. It was such an amateur plan that I felt like we were in some movie about a prison break. It might as well have been, with all the drama I dealt with in my life. Anyway, next was to, of course, find Victor's prison. If any guards gave us trouble....well we would figure that part out later.

"Alright," I smiled a little at everyone. Christian was smirking, absolutely stoked. Lissa was feeling nervous, but flashed a supportive smile. Adrian looked a mixture of both. I knew he was only doing this for me, so I had to take what I got happily. As for my own feelings....I was a little nervous, but also excited and hopeful. My nose could almost smell Dimitri's after shave, feel his warm arms holding me again. _Soon_, I told myself then gave a full grin, my rebellious nature fueling me. "Let's do this." We all filed onto the small boat. We all had to get oars and help paddle. Yeah, like I need any more exercise. The waves were thankfully only mildly rough. There was enough wind and a current to help us move forward. It took a couple of arguments about which way to paddle towards, but eventually, we did start moving. I understood then how Adrian could fantasize about jet skiing. The setting sky was a brilliant, golden color with streaks of hot pink and purple. The lapping water was a bit relaxing. I sighed wistfully and kept paddling.

Finally, almost 45 minutes later, our little boat reached one of the docks. I was afraid my friends might need a nap. The rowing wasn't hard for me—I had faced much worse—but it was probably hell for Moroi who didn't do anything that was really physical. I gave them a few minutes to rest, allowing myself to find a group of guards I could attack. Unfortunately for me, most of the dudes were huge, like Stan huge, and there were most likely trained guardians. _Only for you, Comrade, _I thought then scowled and snuck up on one. I had to be as sneaky and quiet as possible, unless I wanted one of them to call for back-up, resulting in putting myself in jail. The first guy was about Adrian's height, a little over 6 feet, but he was also slim and not very muscular. I tip toed up to him and managed to unearth his gun. I wasn't planning on shooting anyone but hey, _I _didn't want to get shot. As soon as I pocketed the weapon, he noticed me. Lissa's burst of fear sucked me into her head. I fought to get out, just in time to have myself pinned to the ground.

Like I said, this guy's height was the only thing he had going. I easily threw him off me then incapacitated him. When two other guards came, I didn't have to do anything. Lissa and Adrian were right beside me, convincing them to not attack or call for back up. Amazingly, Lissa even got them to fall asleep. While they were getting their clothes, I found myself another guard and took her down, with more difficulty than the first. But it was possible. We then changed into their uniforms. Honestly, I was shocked, but proud, we pulled that off."That was inspiring, Liss." I told her, smiling. She laughed. Once we were ready, it was time for the more challenging task: finding Victor. My best guess to start this break out would to be entering the prison, so I did, with my friends behind me. Like I had seen during my research, there was a court, at least the size of two football fields, in the center of the 4 buildings that encircled it. Wooden picnic tables were scattered underneath the sheltered sections. By now, the sun had disappeared, so lights hanging from the walls were in full glow. Other than that, it was pretty boring. I guess decoration wasn't very important for a prison.

"Were to first, Captain?" Christian questioned, only half-heartedly serious. I took another scan of my surroundings. None of the guardians had noticed we weren't supposed to be here. It wasn't too suspicious to be walking around—some of them were chatting in clusters—but I figured we only had a short amount of time before people started to notice we looked like a group of teenaged spies lurking around. My eyes traveled until they landed on a door to what looked like a main entrance to something.

I shrugged and pointed to my spotted door. "Let's check that building out." The map we had printed out didn't have any specific labels. It would be too obvious for people like say, breaking in and springing prisoners out, to complete their task. I reached the door and held it open for everyone else, wondering if we should split up. I thought against it though. Even if Victor wanted Lissa and I to come alone, it was better to stick together. Plus, I would probably need Christian to do his job of smoldering the cell open. Inside, the walls were a bleak, deep gray color. As soon as we stepped through the door, we faced two corridors on the left and right, like a fork in the road. I followed my gut and went right. No one argued against me. Similar to my brief Strigoi hunting in Novosibirsk, I had a leader role to my group. I enjoyed the position since I didn't get to be in charge often.

"Rose," Lissa said suddenly. I turned to look at her, checking the bond. Nothing bad came through to me, well, besides her fear that had been present since we stepped onto the boat. What I saw was another hallway on the left side and a lobby-like room on the right. I nodded at her and we took the left route this time. This hallway was the magic one. Every 5 feet or so was a heavy, metal door on each side. They had a very small window with tinted glass. I frowned, realizing unless we checked each door, which would take us hours, we weren't going to find Victor. Everyone had the same realization, facing me for further instruction. Before I could say anything though, we were interrupted.

"Hey," a voice called. I whipped around to see another guard marching towards us. Well marching towards _me_, actually. She had sandy brown hair, curled and cropped around her face, with hard, deep blue eyes. She was dressed in the same dull uniform as us—including the gun and stake strapped onto a belt—except she had a name tag that read: Emily Trelles, stating clearly she was higher up than us, like a head guardian. She came to a sharp halt in front of me, frowning. "What are you doing up here?" There was no accusation in her tone, just confusion and slight scolding. "You're supposed to be down by the docks."

My awesome lying skills finally came in handy, after all the failed attempts with Dimitri. "Right, I was just showing these guys"—I made a sweeping motion toward Lissa, Christian, and Adrian—"the cells. You know, since I'm sure they don't see much of them downstairs." I tried to make it sound like I knew what the hell I was talking about. This mission was going to crash and burn if I was stuck by the docks. My friends' expression showed they were thinking similarly.

"Oh good," Emily nodded, believing me. "Amanar's really busy tonight with some new prisoners sailing in from Florida. He won't have time to give tours." I pretended to nod in agreement. Lissa was amazed I was doing this. "Alright now that they've seen 'em, you gotta get back down before Grul or Boroi catches you. We'll both be dead if you don't." She laughed and I fakely chuckled along with her. Then I was forced to follow her down the hall as the others were sent to other sections of the prison. _Damn it. _How were we supposed to do this now? I mentally told myself to not panic, not yet. Suddenly, an idea struck me. Emily was an actual guard here, one who obviously had been here long enough to know the people and prison itself. I smirked at my luck.

"Hey," She glanced at me. I attempted indifference. "I heard some story about Victor Dashkov, you know, the prince, being held here. Is that true?"

Like I expected, she shook her with disgust. "Yeah, he's here alright. The Queen herself sentenced him just a couple of months ago. He did some disturbing things to another Moroi—a princess, I believe. It's a shame, such valuable blood wasted."

I nodded, keeping my eyes forward as I continued. "So did they lock him up somewhere special or...."

"Nope," Emily shook her head. "He's staying in cell 1824, with as little comfort as the rest of the crimonals here. Just 'cause he's a royal doesn't mean he gets special treatment."

I was glad at least some people shared those same views. A lot of the Royal Moroi considered themselves superior because of their precious, rare blood. _1824_. Internally, I danced at my discovery. As soon as I got a break, which I had no idea when that was, I had to find the others and get to Victor. It was already passed the time he asked us to be here, but frankly, I could care less about the time limit. He was lucky we were visiting him at all. Once we reached the docks, Emily went off. I made sure to ask when my break was: an hour. One more hour of being here, risking everything. For the second time in my life, I prayed to God, hoping that our efforts would be worth something.

* * *

It was at least another 30 minutes later that something eventful happened. I was only a few minutes away from break, sitting on the deep brown dock, with my swinging legs hanging over the edge. The moon was out, full and glowing, in the center of the sky. Argent stars sequined the blackness. I gazed admiringly up at them, enjoying every second of this rare peacefulness. Then, footsteps clattered against the dock behind me for a few long moments before coming to an abrupt stop. I didn't have to peek to know who it was. "Rose," he whispered, as if speaking too loud would scare me away. His fingers pressed gently against my hip. I frowned, getting another flash of guilt. Adrian was so much more committed to this relationship that I was. He deserved to have someone whole. Someone who adored their every moment with him. Someone who cared for him as more than a good friend. I swallowed.

Slowly, almost unwillingly, I stood up and turned to him. My thoughts were mending words together. I had to give Adrian the full truth, not just the pieces that wouldn't hurt. He had to know—to understand, that if I was forced to choose....I would pick Dimitri. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but he had to move on, to stop before things got too deep and complicated. Mason died because of me. Dimitri got turned into a Strigoi. I wasn't going to let something like that happen to him. Just as my speech was ready, my open mouth clamped shut. Adrian's eyes, so sincere and glowing with the moonlight, stopped me. He tangled our fingers together. I couldn't do anything.

"Rose," he repeated softly, sweetly. I thought I was going to cry. "I'm really sorry I said that stuff earlier. It was partly because of jealousy. Like I said before, you were always so gone for Beli—Dimitri. I have to admit, I'm still not....okay with this mission. You could get hurt. But, if you want to do this, I am not going to stop you." He smiled a little. "It's not like I have a chance, standing in Rose Hathaway's way. So, I'm along for the ride." He made a crossing motion over his heart. "Bound for life."

His words were so pure and benevolent. A small part of me truly liked Adrian, but that part didn't stand a chance of rivaling my other, stronger and consuming feelings for "Belikov". It saddened me, but I had to accept it. To Adrian, I couldn't say anything else, except, "What was the other part?" I figured he knew what I was talking about.

He did. Adrian wore a very infrequent look of vulnerability. Fantastic, now we were having our heart-to-heart, at Victor's prison. "Fear," he finally answered. He voice was tender as he continued speaking. "I know you're strong and all amazing, Rose, but this is dangerous." Adrian paused, seeming indecisive about something. I had a feeling it was going to piss me off, which he knew just as well. He decided to say it anyway. "You don't have to do this, you know."

"I....what?"

He repeated his words and I could only glare. Before our previous argument could have a rerun, he explained. "I know you're still not over him, but is this really worth it? You could go back home, not risking yours or Lissa's life anymore. You wouldn't be freeing Victor. We could go to Royal Court after your graduation." I started to protest, but Adrian kept going. "It could be the four of us together, like one family. I know it's what you really want, Rose. Lissa would go to school...and you and I could be alone. No boundaries." Seeing my frozen state, but mistaking it as something else, Adrian wrapped his arms around my waist. Tears spilled down my cheeks as he kissed me. "Just think about it."

When Adrian left, I couldn't breathe. I sat back down on the dock, calming myself and cleaning the tears. _One big, happy family. _My stomach twisted. I felt ready to explode as thoughts and emotions drowned me. After some more soothing, deep breaths, I was able to slice through my web of tangled thoughts. Adrian had this future planned out. It was too late. Damn it. He was as gone for me as I was for Dimitri. Dimitri....How could I just let everything go? If it was that easy, I would have never gone to Russia in the first place! I could try to love Adrian. Hell, I _was _trying, but there was nothing I could do. I missed Dimitri. My heart ached to have his arms around me, right now more than ever. Wasn't this supposed to be getting easier? Wasn't time supposed to be healing me? It was doing a sucky job of—uh oh.

Nausea consumed me.

Straight of the darkness, moving in stealthy silence, my favorite Strigoi walked up. There were too many emotions swirling in me to know what I was feeling about the sight of him. Sighing on the inside, I stood up. "Are we playing hide and seek?" I demanded wryly, crossing my arms over my chest. This game was getting old.

He smirked, slinking closer. The moonlight radiated his pale skin. The red in his eyes practically sparkled. And as he spoke, I knew I would see those sharp fangs. He was like a fallen angel, sent just for me. "Hmm, you're not very good at the 'hiding' part, Rose." He mused.

Wanting to prove I wasn't afraid, I stepped closer too. It was probably a stupid choice on my part, bringing myself closer to the predator just to seem brave. "Or you're just too good at the 'seeking' part." I retorted. I eyed him, skipping over the main, Strigoi details the best I could. He was wearing a sleek, black leather coat with black jeans and combat boots. It really added the whole "dead stalker" effect nicely. "Why?"

Suddenly, he was standing three inches away. He inhaled slowly, closing his eyes. "I can smell you from across the lake." Too fast for me to protest, he gathered a wisp of my hair, twirling in it his fingers. "The scent of your hair....impossible to ignore. Irresistible, even." He inhaled again, thoughtfully. "Today it smells like cherries."

I smacked his hand, but apparently Dimitri ran on his own schedule. When he was finished, the hair fell back into place. Instantly, he was in front of me again. I cocked my hip to the side, my hand over it. "Why are you here, Dimitri?" I felt like a broken record.

His smirk was secretive. If I didn't know any better, I would say there was a seductive edge to it. Regardless, it made my stomach flip. I ignored it, keeping my cool and composed demeanor. "Do you not want me to visit, Roza?" I ignored the question, mostly because I wasn't sure of the answer. After a few moments of thick silence, his smirk died. Dimitri stepped closer, examining me. There was an intense, unidentifiable emotion burning in his dark eyes. I didn't step back, even though I wanted to. "So," he began. His pale fingers stretched out, toying with my nazar absentmindedly. I saw a glimpse of something shiny on his hand, reflecting in the moonlight, but I didn't know what it was. His next statement had me too bewildered too think about it anyway. "I guess _Adrian _got his wish granted?" Acid was almost visible when he said Adrian's name.

My stomach dropped. I must have heard him wrong, because surely, Dimitri did not just say that. But he did. And he knew. I could tell by his smoldering eyes, he knew and I had no doubts he had seen us kiss—both times. I didn't know how I felt about that. It couldn't be a good thing to have Dimitri informed about us. The only thing I knew how to respond with was attitude. If not, my voice would come out trembling. "What, are you gonna kidnap him too?"

Dimitri chuckled. He let my nazar drip from his fingers and then stepped back. His amused gaze switched to the moon. I think he had A.D.D or something. "No," he said honestly. A couple of dramatic seconds passed and then his eyes clicked with mine, sparkling with laughter. He was in a good mood tonight. "It will have to be something _much_ more violent."

I snapped. "Don't you dare go anywhere near him!" I moved closer, glaring and feeling the protectiveness and worry swiveling inside of me. First Sydney, and now Adrian. I couldn't handle this. A rational, in control part of my brain was telling me that Dimitri would never actually waste time hurting Sydney or Adrian, that it was just a trick he was using to distract me or set me off. Well, mission accomplished. I was in full freak-out mode. I felt unsteady, like a spinning top about to topple over.

Dimitri frowned, studying me again. He looked confused, like my vivid reaction was the last thing he expected. Once again, I was lost. But what really got to me was that Dimitri looked almost....hurt. My hands clenched. "You care?" His tone was a mixture of incredulous and something else I didn't understand.

My arms flung up in exasperation. "Of course I care!" I roared. My puzzlement was overlapped by renewed anger. Lately, everything with Dimitri an emotional rollercoaster. It was exhausting. "He's my boyfriend isn't he?" Dimitri's eyes sparked, but he turned away before I could see anything. I was too worked up to realize how stupid I was being. Telling him this information could possibly put Adrian's life on the line. "Why are you here?" I repeated, but didn't give him an opportunity to answer me. "You haven't tried to kill me or turn me or whatever the hell your plan is this week. What's going on?"

Dimitri kept his back to me. I was absolutely disoriented by his game. But his next question really just left me clueless. "Do you love him?"

"What?" I whispered. There he was again, making a 360 turn to a direction I couldn't follow. My jaw popped open. I could only repeat, "What?"

He whirled around then, flashing in front of me. My heart jumped at his sudden movements. His eyes were empty again, hiding everything. "Never mind," I noticed his Russian accent was heavier than ever. "I must go now, but I promise, Roza, I will return soon." Then he was behind me. His cool fingertips brushed my neck, giving unwanted flashbacks of the cabin. Then his frosty lips tenderly kissed my neck. I shivered. "Goodbye."

And he was gone, back into the darkness.

* * *

**Yay another chapter! I seriously didn't think I would get upto six chapters, so this is amazing. You guys have inspired me to keep going with this story. I love you all for all the support. And, the laughs. Some of your reviews can be really funny, so thank you. Next chapter should be up in a few days, but I need at least: 6 reviews, por favor. =) I know you guys can totally handle that. So, I hope you guys liked this chapter. Victor will possibly be coming up soon, as well as other characters I know everyone wants to see. **

**123 days til Spirit Bound **


	7. Take A Breath

**Seven **

_People change and promises are broken.  
Clouds can move and skies will be wide open.  
Don't forget to take a breath.  
_

_**D**O YOU LOVE HIM? _

I found myself staring at Adrian later that night. We were seated at one of the picnic benches, preparing for our breakout. I just fed them the information I earned from Emily. We only had a 20 minute break—20 minutes to find Victor's cell, talk to him, and then bust him out of here. Yeah, this was going to go _smoothly_. Adrian was talking now, replaying anything he learned while on duty. I was watching him, but not hearing anything of the words. His chestnut brown hair was tousled perfectly around his face. I had to admit, I loved the way he styled it. His green, green eyes....well, who couldn't get lost in them? The more I studied Adrian, the more I noticed things about him that I had never paid attention to before. Like, when he smiles, it's crooked—but in a cute way. And he has a gold chain hanging from his neck with a matching ring looped on it. Every once in a while, he would catch me looking and our eyes would meet. It made me feel a bit better that I could smile easily every time. Sadly, no, I didn't love him. But I was going to work really hard on making my feelings for him grow, just in case this whole plan ends up caving in. Then, at least something could come out right.

"Okay," I said once Adrian finished talking. I got all the information I missed him saying from Lissa's mind. Apparently Victor was in building C. "It's painfully obvious we have to do this quick. Here's the plan: We're all gonna go find his cell, but Adrian and Christian, you guys are going to wait outside. Victor has no idea we brought anyone else. Lissa and I are going to talk to him for a few minutes. If any guards come, knock on the door 3 times so we know it's you. Once Liss and I are done, we'll let Christian in so he can melt the bars or something because we don't have a key to get him out." I scanned their faces. "Any questions?"

Lissa looked ready to faint, but otherwise, I think we were good to go. Before we left though, I gave each of them a thankful hug for helping me. Then, we set off. Building C was ironically the farthest building from the exit. It would take us at least 2 minutes to reach it once we came out. I still couldn't believe we were doing this. A part of me was terrified, but I shoved that emotion away the best I could. I would probably never do another prison break in my life, so I should enjoy the thrill, right? Once we were inside the building, we formed a single file line with me in the front and Christian as the tail of it. We took the stairs that lead us to the third floor where Victor was. I didn't get how 1824 would be on the _third _floor, but whatever. I suppose it was the universe's way of making things even more difficult for me.

As we moved, Lissa was reading off each door number for me. "1814, 1816, 1818, 1820, 1822...." Finally, the second door at the end of the hall, we stopped. Adrian positioned himself against the wall on the left side while Christian took the right. I shared a supportive look with Lissa. I gave her soothing, reassuring feelings through my eyes while she did the same, sending them to me through the bond. When we were both calm enough to handle this, I reached for the gray door knob. It didn't move. Without a word, Christian focused on it and soon enough, the metal melted away. I smiled at him before stepping back and kicking the door open with all my strength. It slammed back and hit the ground. I always wanted to do that. Lissa rolled her eyes, seeing my pleasure, and we walked inside.

The room was about the size of my dorm. It was shaped like a box, with stark white walls and black marble floors. As soon as you stepped inside, you saw the prison cell with black, thick metal bars, caging the person inside like an animal at a zoo. Inside the cell, was a twin sized bed with a flat pillow and equally uncomfortable looking blankets. There was no other furniture. I knew instantly that I would go insane if I had to stay here for one day, left alone my life. There were a few pictures taped to the wall beside the bed though. I glanced around until my eyes landed on no other than Victor Dashkov.

He was leaning against the wall opposite to the bed, staring right at me with a knowing smirk. In his hands he held a pen and a brown, leather journal he had been writing in before we burst in. Slowly, he slid his glasses off his eyes and shut his book, setting them both down on the bed. The gray in his hair he had while being sick had returned, covering his head in patches. He looked horribly thin compared to the last time I saw him. But, his skin also held a powdery edge to it. It didn't take much to figure it out.

He was sick again.

"Yes Rosemarie," Victor began with a lax, almost friendly smile. "You're prediction came true. My disease has returned." He didn't seem very upset about it. Victor strolled to the bars, only taking a few steps in the small space. His eyes landed on Lissa. I found myself shifting so I shielded her just a little from his view. It wasn't like he could do anything to her now, but I didn't care. Her mounting fear only encouraged my instinct to protect her.

"What a shame," I responded sarcastically, folding my arms over my chest. I kept my guardian mask on, one I had learned how to perfect for 13 years. There was nothing I or Lissa had to be scared of. I could take down Victor in my sleep. My stake and the gun I stole were ready to be used just in case. Lissa seemed to realize this and her fear dimmed just a little. "But I'm afraid glorifying how right I was isn't the reason we're here. You've requested us. We've came." I narrowed my eyes. "What do you want?"

Victor shocked me by bursting into laughter. Lissa flinched at the sound. He shook his head. "My, you never cease to amaze and amuse me, Rose." Our eyes locked and his smile stayed on, only it was full of knowledge, knowledge I wished he didn't have. "You know what I want. _I _know what you _need_." He raised a brow and my stomach curled into a knot. "How is your Strigoi boyfriend doing, Rose? Is he enjoying himself? I hear immortality can be quite delightful."

I scowled but composed myself. I had to be strong, not letting anything he said get to me. Like in Spokane, I channeled my mother. Sure, she probably would never be in my position, but if she was, she would never even let the thought of failing touch her mind. She would be sharp and smart like a guardian should be. "We're not here to banter," I mimicked Dimitri's words. Victor's chuckle indicated he remembered them. I moved closer and surprisingly Lissa was right beside me. I was proud of her. Swallowing, I narrowed my eyes again, and put on my most intimidating face that was also serious. I wasn't messing around, especially not today. "I'm going to make this easy. Do you know where Robert Doru is?"

Victor was wearing the smug expression of child who did something wrong, but knew he wouldn't get in trouble for it. "Maybe."

Before I could reach over and slap him, Lissa stepped forward. Her eyes locked with Victor's and she wore a sugary, but mischievous smile that no one could deny. "Victor," She said captivatingly. My eyes widened when I realized what she was doing, but didn't stop her. I watched triumphantly as Victor's features dropped to something spellbound. Lissa felt the same. "Do you know where Robert Doru is?"

"Yes," Victor answered in a sleepy, entranced voice. Then, for the first time, he scowled and looked away. Victor shook his head furiously, trying to shake off the effects of spirit. He looked back at us with a small smile. "Hmm, I never have experienced the influence of compulsion. Well done, Vasilisa." I finally figured out he was determined to keep composure. Just like Avery, he was a professional at faking emotions if necessary. No one would ever know what he was really feeling. It was the mind workings of an evil genius. "But," Victor continued, "I'm afraid spirit is not going to assist you in making me just _give _that valuable information to you. As I imagine you know, I've had a bit of practice with spirit myself." He smiled tauntingly at Lissa. We both stiffened, for different reasons. "You're going to have to do better, my dear."

"That won't be necessary," I interrupted sharply. Like I wanted, Victor left Lissa alone and looked back to me. I shot him a chilling, equally pompous smile of my own. I felt partially bad that Lissa had to see me like this. "You just handed over the 'sacred' information we needed. Congratulations, you're going to get what you want. Starting packing your stuff." I shared a look with Lissa and a second later, it clicked. She jogged over to the door and let Christian inside. He checked for my permission and after getting a nod, began melting the prison bars. It was going to take at least 10 minutes to melt them away enough to get him out. We had enough time until the practically unthinkable happened:

Adrian pounded on the door three times.

Both my and Lissa's heart beats escaladed immediately. I had to work to separate myself from her overwhelming panic before turning to Christian. "Just blow it up!" I commanded to him just a second before the door burst open. I caught a brief glimpse of Adrian working his magic—literally—with a male guard. _Another_ guard strode into the room. He froze seeing what Christian was doing. Not only was it shocking to see someone who was dressed as a guard breaking someone out of jail, but he was using fire to do so. It was pretty much unheard of, not to mention kind of illegal. I took this pause of surprise to steal his gun like I had with the other guardian and then pushed Lissa out of the way just before he attacked me.

This guy was way more of a threat than the first one. He was at least 6 feet and 6 inches of hard muscle. Somehow sensing I was the threat in this situation (what was up with everyone labeling me as the troublemaker?) he did a typical immobilizing move of grabbing my wrists. Even if he was strong, he wasn't an impossibly fast and strong Strigoi. I kneed him in the stomach, getting him to release me and stumble back. I then finished the job of shoving him into the wall hard enough to knock him unconscious. He slid to the ground.

"Impressive," Victor said, stepping out of his cell. The only possession he carried was the notebook. Behind him, a twisted mess of burnt metal was sprinkled on the floor. I glanced at Christian to compliment him, but he was too busy making sure Lissa was okay. I sensed with satisfaction that the lovebirds would be reconnecting soon. The content feeling was brief.

"Hey guys!" Adrian yelled from outside of the room. There was a note of distress in his tone that I didn't like. "I think it's time to go."

I ran out of the room, no doubt with everyone behind me. What I saw had me freeze. Guards, dozens and dozens of guards, were swarming from all directions. I felt my own panic begin to rise, but took a deep breath and did what I did best: rushed in without thinking. I didn't dwell on the fact mostly likely we could all end up in jail for this. I just fought, able to take down tons of guards. They weren't like the ones at the academy, skillfully trained by long years of school and Strigoi slaying. It was easier to fight them than Dimitri during our sessions. Some of them were even easier to take down than the other novices in my class. The most they had going for them was the guns, but they were too distracted to pull them out.

Christian wasn't too much help now. He couldn't incinerate a guard without having to pay for later. Instead, he was in charge of finding a way out while Lissa, Adrian, and I handled the guards as best as we could. It took a while, but finally, we were able to break away and run as fast as we could to the exit of lovely Building C. Even I was sweating and panting by this point. It was my workout for the week, definitely. I shoved the exit doors out of my way. Some sort of obnoxious, shrieking alarm was going off. Perfect. Now we were really screwed. At least we had made it outside, so the building couldn't go on lockdown. Thankfully, that wasn't the end of our luck. The courtyard was basically empty, all of the guards hunting the buildings for the fake guards (us) staging the prison break. We made an escape for the docks.

"Did you order a special ride, Rose?" Adrian questioned sardonically. Only about 10 feet away, stirring the air around us, was one of St. Vlad's private jets. I was shocked to see it, but charged anyway. It was a hell of a lot simpler and faster than that stupid boat we took. At the moment, I didn't care if Queen Tatiana was in there. I wanted to get off this island. Lissa though, tugged me back.

Her expression was pure horror. "_Rose_," She hissed. "We can't get on there with Victor Dashkov with us!" She made a dramatic pointing motion to the hated man beside her. As usual, it only seemed to amuse him. I wondered if anything other than Moroi politics bothered him.

I rolled my eyes. "Well Liss, would you like to _swim _back to Montana? How else are we gonna get home? They already know why we're here, obviously. And if we don't get on that jet in the next 10 seconds, we will probably get eaten alive by prison guards. Take your pick at transportation." I snapped, one of my emotions leaking out.

She didn't seem thrilled, more accurately totally against it, but we ran over to the jet anyway. One of the doors popped open. I couldn't say whether or not I was surprised that Alberta was sitting there. Without any questions or looks, she helped me get inside the jet and then the others. I expected her to push Victor onto the ground, but she didn't. It was surreally silent as the jet took off and I found myself once again returning to St. Vladimir Academy.

* * *

Once we landed, guardians transported the Moroi back to their rooms, astonishingly including Victor. I didn't get to ask questions though. Alberta yanked me away before I got the chance. Her expression was stoic but her hard eyes were chastising. "Rose, this has _got _to be the most thoughtless and stupid thing you have put yourself through. Forget about the fact you dragged _three Royal Moroi_ into your plan, but you were breaking Victor Dashkov out of jail! How do you expect anyone to let you become Lissa's guardian now? I don't know the details of the situation, but I know there is nothing that could have been worth what you just did."

I swallowed. I had to admit, it sucked to get Alberta this upset. I had a fond respect and even liking for her. But if I tried to explain my reasoning, it wouldn't make a difference. I just shook my head, far too tired to argue at the moment. "You're right." I told her with as much regret and meekness I could put into my words. Those were emotions I almost never felt and especially admitted to them. By Alberta's expression, she seemed shocked I would just give up like that. But, she released me after that, making sure I went straight to my room. No complaints here. As soon as I was in, I collapsed on the bed and wouldn't be woken until morning.

When I did wake up, it was from a knock on the door. I rolled out of bed unwillingly and went to answer it. Lissa stood there and yesterday's events came tumbling back to my mind. But apparently that wasn't the reason why she was here. Her hair was combed and straighten to silky perfection. She was wearing a peach colored blouse with a floral skirt and expensive heels. I couldn't recall anything important happening today. Graduation was in 2 days. Though Lissa did know something I didn't. "The queen is here." She told me.

I could have laughed at the displeasure in her voice and heart at the announcement, if I wasn't exhausted. I yawned and leaned against the door frame. "So I'm guessing she's here to exile me for what I did. Awesome, I'll pack my stuff." Lissa grabbed my arm before I could leave though, giving me a look that made me have to stay. I sighed. "What?"

"She's not here because of you. At least, that's what I was told. Supposedly, she's here to check up on the school and then stay for the graduation and 'handing out' of the guardians." Lissa wrinkled her nose at the last part. Her opinion of guardians being treated like objects was obvious. "So, you've gotta get dressed."

"Wait—what?" Lissa pushed past me into my room and shut the door. From behind her back, she pulled out a gorgeous, violet sweater dress with a pair of strappy, black leather heels. I almost drooled at the sight. I missed shopping so much it was sad. Lissa saw this and laughed, handing me the glorious items.

As I began to change, she explained. "The queen is holding a meeting during breakfast. This dress just came in from the mail a few minutes ago with your name on it. Headmistress Kirova gave it to me on my way over here, but the shoes are mine." I gave a grateful smile.

Beautiful dress as I gift? As I slipped it on, it was my perfect size, flowing gently around my thighs but hugging _all _my curves. The heels completed everything. I didn't have time to curl my hair so I brushed it back with a black headband that worked well and applied some lip gloss. As soon as I was ready, Lissa and I began our walk to the commons. "So did it say who it was from?" I asked her. The sudden gift seemed odd. My first guess was Dimitri but I think I was wrong.

Lissa shook her head. "Nope. Its return address was some post office. I guess they wanted it to be a surprise."

The conversation ended then. We entered the commons. As months upon months before when the queen visited, it was decorated for royalty. Even if it was summer, spring was clearly the theme. Butter yellow cloths covered each table with purple, pink, and white flowers in the center. Matching paper lanterns hung from the ceiling, spread over the walls. The fragrance of flowers colored the atmosphere. In the front of the room was Tatiana's thrown, vacant and waiting for her. Her guardians were already scattered around it. I wasn't surprised to see my mother was still here, placed against the wall next to Alberta. She wore her emotionless mask so I couldn't tell if she wanted to kill me for what happened. She probably did.

"Rose," Lissa touched my arm, catching my attention.

I let her steer me over to one of the tables where Eddie and Adrian were seated. I took the spot beside Adrian, letting him braid our fingers together under the table. The queen would probably have me crucified if she saw Adrian and me holding hands publically. He whispered in my ear, "You look gorgeous. I love that dress." His eyes fell to my exposed legs with a devious glint in his eyes. I took joy in the fact he didn't look troubled anymore, like he had before we left. I would have to find out what was bothering him later. "Great view."

Playfully, I bumped his shoulder. "Enjoy it while you can, Ivashkov." I responded teasingly. Before he could retort something, no doubt either perverted or flirtatious, noise suddenly sounded from the back of the room. Everyone shifted in their chairs to see what the commotion was. To me, it was pretty obvious what: Your Royal Pain in the Ass had arrived. I was right. The doors were held open as Queen Tatiana strolled inside. She was wearing a floor length, baby blue dress with fancy white designs and her typical crown. Two more guardians flanked her as she made her way to the front of the room. I jokingly gagged as the students—by which I mean non-royals—did anything they could to get Queen Tatiana's attention, treating her as if she was some important celebrity. Lissa and I traded an eye roll. Trust me, meeting her was _not _an honor and definitely not a pleasure.

The room hushed into total silence as the queen hunkered down in her thrown. No one dared to make a sound. I was tempted to laugh just to see how everyone would react, but decided against it. Why give her another reason to hate me? I would probably get a gratuitous lecture about being a disrespectful distraction to Lissa from Tatiana if I did. I would have to be on good behavior tonight—my greatest challenge. Well, not really, but close enough. Everyone knew if there was one thing I couldn't do, it was behave. Suddenly, Adrian squeezed my hand. My eyes flashed up to him, but he was making an exaggeration of not looking at me. I then glanced at the queen to find her glaring right at me, her lips pursed with displeasure. Good God, what was her problem with me? Was I not allowed to _sit _by Adrian now? That's ridiculous!

Feeling my tension—it was hard to miss—Adrian rubbed my hand soothingly with his thumb. Lissa sent me a confused, concerned look but I took a deep breath and for her sake, tried to pretend I wasn't seconds away from shoving that pretty little crown down Tatiana's esophagus. She was worried about seeing the queen enough. I didn't need to reinforce it. Finally, Queen Tatiana cleared her throat, as if all eyes hadn't already been on her, and stood up. "Thank you all for joining me this morning," Like we had a choice. Her voice rang out in the silence. "It is always a pleasure to visit St. Vladimir's. Now, the reason I had organized this meeting was to congratulate all of the novices that passed their trials last week." Her eyes never left me. I just knew something bad was coming. I was proven right as the corner of her lips pulled up, forming a miniature, evil sneer. "And I want to welcome back Miss Rose Hathaway—again. Let us hope all of your imbecile, trivial excursions are finished."

That was it. My hands coiled up into tight fists. I couldn't figure out whether it was my or Lissa's anger that was making me tremble. I'm pretty sure it was both. Hundreds of eyes swirled to look at me. Some of them were paired with giggles and snickers. Others were just completely stunned by the Royal Bitch's words. I wasn't surprised at all, but it still infuriated me. For some reason, I turned away from my friends' comforting to look at my mother. Her lips were tightened into a thin line. Wow. She was as pissed as I was. I never thought I lived to see the unexpected day when something my mother did warmed my insides. Tatiana's offensive words had hurt her too. I would _never _admit it, but I was elated to know my mother was acting like, well....my mother. It meant a lot to me. Oblivious to my feelings, the queen kept babbling: "So I once again congratulate you all. You're going to make fine guardians."

Everyone except Christian and I broke into applause. I could see him sitting alone, staring at me with what I could only label as brotherly empathy. I shrugged as if to say "what else did I expect from her". Seeming satisfied that I was okay; he turned his attention back to the queen. Instead of sitting back down though, Tatiana began walking—to our table. I worked hard at taking deep breaths to cool myself down. As she grew closer, I thought _control, control _over and over again. Food was beginning to be served and I had to drag my eyes away from the utensils before the idea of stabbing Tatiana with a fork became impossible to resist. It took at least 10 minutes—she made snails look like Strigoi—but she finally reached our table, half-smiling and half-frowning. It was kind of creepy. I held back the insults that were screaming in my head. Dimitri would be so proud of my control right now.

"Princess Vasilisa," She greeted and Lissa gave a polite nod in return. Her eyes flicked to me then back. "May I speak with you in private?" I watched as Lissa and Tatiana walked off to go discuss royal crap or whatever that I was blessed to not have to listen to. I did, however, have other things that apparently needed to be taken care of. When I glanced up, I saw my mother now storming towards our table. Panic began to evolve. Was she going to lecture me in front of everyone? Or worse: Was she gonna drag me away like a child again?

My mom came to a sudden, but graceful halt in front of our table. The mask stayed on. "Rose." She said nothing else. I took that as my cue to stand up. She walked briskly away from the table and I scurried behind her, not bothering to ask any questions because I knew they wouldn't be answered. She walked all the way to the exit doors of the building then turned back to me. All trace of the person I had seen a minute ago had vanished. She wasn't looking at me like a badass guardian anymore. She wasn't even looking at me like a strict mother than secretly really did love me on the inside. No. Right now she was someone I had never witnessed before.

Janine Hathaway: woman who had given up the man she loved for her child.

Confusion, irritation, terror, and hell of a lot more emotions shone in her eyes. Her words were crisp and quick; nervous. I had a very rare moment when I was actually speechless. "I don't know how or why, but your father is here to see you. He's waiting right outside. He didn't tell me anything except that it was 'urgent' and 'absolutely necessary' that he'd speak to you as soon as he could. Rose, I don't know what you've gotten yourself into this time but—

"Woah," I interrupted. Her words were so fast I had barely understood them. "Rewind, please. Did you just say my _father _is here to see me? Who let Zmey in?" _That _was probably the last thing I had expected to happen. I assumed as soon as he left last week after watching my trials that I wouldn't see him again until another major event like my 21st birthday or my wedding or something. His recent visit had been brief. He congratulated me on my trials and we had small talk about stuff. It was kind of awkward. Mostly, he had actually conversed with Adrian. I still wasn't sure about their whole "buddy buddy" thing but had let it go, thinking it was only temporary. After a phone call, Abe had left to report back to work.

"Don't call him that," My mom snapped, returning for a second to maternal mode. "And yes, he's here right now, outside, waiting for _you_." She peeked uneasily at the door as if he could suddenly pop inside and she would have to face him again. While he had been here, my parents went out of their way to avoid each other—especially my mom. I was determined to find out one of these days what the hell went down between Abe and Janine before they part ways for, what was supposed to be, forever. It couldn't have been pretty considering their weird reactions to each other. There were like two lovestruck teenagers, too shy to ask each other to the prom. Yuck. I got a round of nausea that had nothing to do with Strigoi. After almost a minute of silence, my mom said, "So, are you going to go see him?"

"I don't know." I answered uncertainly. "Do I have to?"

She frowned. "Of course! How else is he going to leave?"

I sighed dramatically and nodded in surrender. My mother held open the door for me and I stepped outside. I was greeted by a cool, summer breeze. Not knowing _where _exactly "daddy" was waiting for me, I began to aimlessly stroll around the campus. I had a strange desire to talk a walk around the perimeter like I had 3 months ago but thought against it. Better to avoid those memories. I wasn't in the mood to cry. Instead, I headed towards the opposite direction of the dorms. The moon was only half full with a few stars scattered around it. I paused to lean against the wall of a building to admire it. That's when I heard a voice I had grown to unfortunately recognize. "Feeling sentimental, Rosemarie?" No. Not Abe Mazur.

Victor Dashkov.

* * *

**Whew! Big chapter for you guys. I better get lots of reviews for this one. So. What did you guys think? Lemme know in reviews. If you guys have any suggestions, critisism, or whatever I'd _love _to hear it. I don't like being told what I'm doing wrong, but I would still appreciate any information on how I could improve my story. If you have anything or anyone you want to see in the story, let me know that too. There are some big twists coming soon and I can't wait to give them. =) **

**119 days til Spirit Bound! **


	8. The End Has Only Begun

**Grr, I hate the beginning of this chapter. No matter how many times I typed it (which was a lot, by the way) it just couldn't come out right. I struggled a lot to get the **_**right **_**words and conversations going, so I'm very frustrated right now. That's why it's taken me so damn long to get this stupid chapter out. But, hopefully my hard work will be worth it? Hint, hint, on the reviews. =) So, I'm gonna start working on the next chapter now and (God willing) it will be out tomorrow. Thanks so so so so much for all the support and reviews I have gotten though. I can't stop telling you guys how amazing you are. Thank you. **

**Ok, my rant's over, I promise. ENJOY! **

* * *

**Eight **

_So stop counting the hours  
Live out in the world  
Cause I've been chasing the answers  
And they don't want to be found  
_

**H**IS GREEN EYES SPARKLED LIKE DIAMONDS.

But they weren't the beautiful kind that you wear in jewelry. It was the type that was so bright and crazy; you flinched or cringed at, like I did. His pale eyes that matched Lissa's twinkled with the impishness of a twisted man that took pleasure in people's vexation. Sometimes, I just couldn't believe the "uncle" Liss had known her entire life was the same person that tortured her and tricked his own daughter into selling her soul. It just shows how few people you can really trust. I already knew the people in my life that I could depend on to be there for me no matter what. And I also knew who could or would turn their back on me if something came up. Sadly, the latter had a much larger amount, but that's the way it always is.

I rolled my eyes at him, ignoring his quip. "If you're escaped to tease me, just remember that if I broke you out of jail, I can send you right back, Victor." I returned my eyes to the sky. Right now, it felt almost as if _I_ had been the one to break free from the insanity of my life. It was so silent and serene out here that it felt unreal. I was so used to noisy things like battles or arguments that just having a casual conversation with someone—my immortal enemy, or no—seemed....weird.. It felt like a lifetime ago when Lissa and I used to do trivial things like going shopping or painting our nails while discussing topics as who was dating who or whatever. _You're life is about homework and clothes and dances. _Wow. I almost laughed out loud. My world had exorbitantly changed since then. Now, my life was about fighting and protecting and pain. Crap like clothes or dances barely ever crossed my mind, let alone mattered to me anymore. It was a depressing thought. Guardians—especially girls—were forced to grow up fast, leaving those "childish" things behind as soon as they exited their school's gates. Some, like me, were forced to give up those things much sooner than that.

"Oh Rose," Victor sighed, strolling closer. He stood beside me, but not close enough to touch. I had honestly forgotten for a moment that he was standing there. "I'm not here to tease you—well, that might be a small part of it." His lips pulled up slightly. "Like I've mentioned at our last encounter, I have my sources to keep up with the outside world. How else do you think I know about your boyfriend's turning?"

I glowered. "He's not my boyfriend." Or was he? I couldn't even keep up with my own romantic theatrics anymore. I faced Victor, brushing off his comment. "Okay, if you're not here to tease me—much—then what are you here for?" I scrutinized him. His hands were stuffed into his pants pockets, leaning casually against the building beside me. I wondered if Victor really was careless all the time, or he just acted that way to show no fear. It didn't matter. I probably would never be able to understand his mind, anyway.

Victor took his time answering, admiring the scenery around him. It had been a while since he was at the academy. "Well first, I want to know why you're so interested in Robert anyway." His eyes switched to me, mocking but also sage. I tried my best to not get too irritated by his smug nature. If I strangled Victor, I would never get the information I need. "Do you honestly think he can help you?"

I shrugged. If he thought I was going to tell him my plans, he wasn't as intelligent as I assumed. "I have a request for him. If he doesn't fulfill it, then....I have other things I can do." My voice nearly caught. Other things as in killing Dimitri—for real. It was my only other option, lest I get "awakened" or killed or whatever he wanted to do with me. I tried not to think about it too much. Graduation was only two days away. Two days that I had, more or less, before Dimitri came for me. I knew for a fact he wouldn't be messing around this time like he had in the alley. He was just teasing me then. Once I was out of the academy's protection....game over.

Victor chuckled mysteriously, like he just heard a good joke. "And then what, Rosemarie? When you're all done with your Romeo and Juliet chapter of your life—then what? Vasilisa will go to college, all under Tatiana's radar, while you follow her around for the rest of her life? I've heard quite a few things about Natasha Ozera's plans, and I can reassure you that they are going nowhere." He shook his head with slight disgust. "The Moroi royalty are going to kill each other before the Strigoi do."

"Nothing is set in stone," I said evasively, "but that's the plan: Lissa will go to college and I follow her—always." Actually, nothing had really been planned out. The past 2 and half months had been focused on finishing school. Now trials and final exams were over. But, the part about me following her was true. Even if I didn't get assigned as her guardian (God forbid) then I would still find a way to be with her. I eyed Victor curiously. "Why, are you going to tag along?" I said that, but knew that wasn't why he asked. His plans of revolution were still going strong. Suddenly, I wanted to hear about them. Not that I was going to sign up or anything, but like many others, I wanted a change too.

"No my dear, I already completed my years of school. But, if going to classes will have Vasilisa help me, then I will 'tag along'."

I snorted. "Lissa isn't going to help you with anything. How many times do I have to remind you that?"

His smile swept chills over me. "Sure she isn't." There was a ruffling behind him and Victor's eyes suddenly didn't look so ablaze anymore. "I must return to my room now, but I hope another conversation with you is in the future, Rosemarie." Then, he walked away until the darkness consumed him and I couldn't make out his figure anymore.

It was silent for two moments before someone else took Victor's vacancy, approaching slowly. I recognized the gleaming jewelry immediately: Abe Mazur. He strolled over and stood beside me, closer than Victor had been. I wondered if Abe had been listening to our conversation. It wouldn't surprise me if he had. "Eavesdropping, Zmey?"

He shot me a smug look. "Just passing by." His eyes scanned over me and a smirk slowly spread over his lips. "I see you like the dress."

My eyes widened. "You sent me this?" It was shocking, but not _that _shocking. He had the school's address obviously; I just didn't think he would send me a gift, especially for no apparent reason. My father bought me clothes. There were no more surprises left in my world. "It's beautiful," I admitted.

Abe smiled slightly. "I thought you might like it. Consider it a...early graduation present." We stayed in a semi-uncomfortable silence after that. I didn't know what else to say. He was the one that requested me and then found me alone out here. I didn't think I was entitled to supply conversation. Abe agreed. He sighed a few minutes later and I had a feeling we were going to have some deep conversation that neither of us really wanted right now. "Alright Rose, you know my secret. Now tell me yours: why were _really _in Russia?"

I got a series of flashbacks of all our conversations, him demanding that I tell him the truth. I had lied every time, but for good reasons, of course. Now I was back home, given the chance to talk to...my father. It was still pretty unbelievable after 18 years I _finally _meet my dad. And it was ironic that after I did, I didn't want anything to do with him. I spent a few moments piecing my words together in my head. I had only spilled my soul to Lissa once I got back. No one else was ever going to get the truth out of me, as in, everything I did during my leave. Finally, I said, "I was fulfilling a promise." I could feel Abe's eyes on me, wanting me to continue. I don't know why, but I did. "A promise that, in the end, I didn't keep. The reason I was in Russia was to find Dimitri Belikov and kill him. That's the truth, old man."

He nodded his eyes far off. Then, they connected with mine. "But you didn't do it." It wasn't a question. It was pretty obvious at this point what the answer was. "So, now what?"

I was getting tired of hearing that question. Did everyone think I was a walking book of plans? I was the poster child for recklessness, yet everyone kept asking what I was going to do next. Irony loves me. "Now," I swallowed then sighed. "I honestly don't know." It was probably the first genuine answer I had given him.

Abe blinked. "That," he said, "was not the response I was expecting. Rose, why do you think I'm here?"

It was a serious question, but my smartass answer was a reflex. "To brag about the beautiful dress?"

My father rolled his eyes. "No, Rose." He paused dramatically and then shot me a small, sly smile. "I'm here to help you."

Ok, maybe there was one last surprise left in my world—and that would be it. I gaped at my father. "What?"

The light chit-chat we were having ended as Abe turned away from the moon, dark shadows falling over his features. His expression was similar to the ones I received from our first encounters, except it was much more serious. "I know what you're trying to do, Rose."

I didn't appreciate the chastising note in his tone and rolled my eyes. "Is there anything you don't know about me, Zmey? How about all the school fights I've been in? My dating history?"

I have to admit, I was startled when he scowled and even more so when he started yelling. "Has being at this academy taught you nothing, Rose?! You're working with the first thoughts that come to your mind! You're being too brash and not cautious at all! Breaking someone like Victor Dashkov out of jail—that's not going to help _anyone_."

Well, _that _shut me up—for at least 5 seconds. Then, I glared at him. "Woah, you don't have to go all parental on me, old man. You may know the surface facts of what I'm trying to do and yeah, they're not exactly evil genius material, but that doesn't give you the right to come lecture me about it. You think I don't realize how serious this is? You think I have no idea what I'm getting myself into? Guess again."

It was temporarily silent as Abe shook his head. "Oh Rose, you think just because you've been across the world that you've seen everything. There's so much out there that you _haven't _seen, so much you don't know." He gave a short chuckle. "I didn't travel all the way from Europe to 'lecture' you." The sternness melted away as he smirked. "I came here to help my daughter."

Daughter. Against my will, it warmed my heart.

His confession puzzled me. Too much had been happening lately. I could barely string together words right now to form a sentence. "Help? How?" When I had thought about this whole situation, I had been so sure I had to do this mostly on my own. My friends could chip in at times, but when it came down to it, it was my mission. _I _had to find Robert. _I _had to take the chance and try to change Dimitri back. Just like the first time I left, I thought I was alone. Maybe that wasn't the case.

Abe sighed thoughtfully. "I'll admit it won't be easy. I was able to pay access into Victor's prison to offer him something in return for Robert's information. Maybe we could go even further than that and get Robert's location a _different _way. I'm not saying it will be legal, but, well, it's better than breaking a criminal out of a high-security prison." He shot me a curious, almost impressed look. "How did you even manage to do that, Rose?"

I smiled mysteriously. "A little thing I like to call Spirit magic."

"Ah," he nodded. "That's a deadly secret weapon to have."

I nodded too. Silence took over for a few moments as I digested everything he just told me. I came to a decision in those moments. It was a hard one, probably even stupid depending on one's point of reference, but it was necessary. "You don't have to do this."

Abe's expression didn't change at my declaration. It was almost as if he was expecting me to say that next. His dark eyes locked with mine evenly. "But I do." He inhaled before explaining. "I am known for not getting involved in affairs. I keep my distance and worked more behind the scenes. That's one of the reasons you hadn't heard of me until a few months ago." He eyed me pointedly. "The second reason is because of your mother's request. But, I believe the time has come for me to…influence the situation and put me resources to some good use. I'll admit it's not going to be easy, Rose—complicated and messy—but," This time, he looked at me with a warm, if not fond gleam in his eyes. "That's you, isn't it? You won't settle for anything less."

I laughed, but it was secretly half-wry. "That's me." Abe smiled in response. I just then noticed the wistful edge he was staring at me with. I imagined a tough guy like Abe Mazur didn't wear soft looks like that often. I decided to not let the light moment between us go yet. "What, are you gonna make some sappy remark about how I remind you of my mom?" I expected that to come. Months ago if somebody told me Janine Hathaway and I were alike, I would have punched them in the face. Now, I had accepted and even slightly admired that I could be anything like her. She was a strong, good woman. Even if she gave her daughter a black eye.

Oblivious to my thoughts, Abe shook his head. "No. I was going to say how much you remind me of myself."

_Wow_. I blinked in disbelief. Granted, it was not the first time the thought occurred to me how much I really was like my parents. Just hearing it from, well, him was unexpected. It amazed me how I spent my entire life not knowing these people and thinking I wasn't anything like them, then with a twist of events, suddenly I was on (more or less) good terms with my mother and father and....I loved them. Abe kept talking. This was probably the longest conversation we ever had. _And _it didn't involve any threats. We'd come a long way.

"Janine," the way he said my mom's name was strange. It rolled off his tongue like he didn't say it often, yet he probably thought the name often. Just her name alone, though, carried thousands of emotions and memories. "Your mother has always been by the rules. She chose to be a guardian, and I respected her wishes to stay away from both of you because of it. She wanted everything to be as it should be." The far off look in his eyes was identical to my mother's. I _needed _to get the story of how they split up.

I smirked. "And we're the crazy rebels, huh?"

He returned from his memories and smirked back. "You know all the rules, Rose. But more importantly, you know when to break them."

I glanced at him with surprise. Everyone reprimanded me for my reckless actions. It was nice to hear something else, especially from my father. "Thanks," I mumbled. He nodded and I had a feeling our conversation was coming to an end. I was proved right when Abe took a step in the direction Victor had disappeared to. I realized Lissa was probably going crazy wondering where I was. The bond told me she, indeed, was worried about me. But my mom had informed her what I was doing. Currently, she was staring at the exit door that Christian had just left through. Her heart ached to have him hold her and kiss her again. I _seriously _needed these two to get back together already. I was going to—

"Rose."

Confused, I turned to see Abe still standing there. I thought he had left. "Yeah, yeah." I waved my hand dismissively, not wanting any tearful goodbyes or mushy hugs. Anything like that would be just flat out awkward for us to be doing. "I'll eat my vegetables and all that good stuff."

"No, that's not it." The seriousness had returned in his tone and his expression. I watched him, still confused and expectedly. His eyes wondered around uncomfortably until he manned up and asked me his question. Until then, I doubted anything could make him uncomfortable. "Is it worth it?"

My world stilled—just for a second. Then, I breathed. There was no judgment in his eyes, just like when I poured my heart out to my mom. She had been disappointed, naturally, by some things I'd done and choices I made, but at the end of the day, I was still her daughter and she empathized what happened to me. Looking at Abe, the result might be different. He was regarding me with curiosity, wanting to understand me, to understand why I was so committed to his crazy mission that just might accomplish what the car accident, Spokane, and Strigoi attacks didn't: killing me.

I met his eyes, my decision and desires steady and set. "If you were in my position, what would you have done?" I inquired lowly. "If it was Mom, and there was a chance out there, no matter how dangerous and crazy, to save her soul....what would you do?"

Understanding shown in his eyes. He nodded and I knew we were sharing the same thought: it was more than worth it. Abe fixed the silence once more. "I have to go, but we will talk again—after your graduation." I gave him my thanks and Abe began to walk away. Again, though, he stopped. He turned his head slightly, just so our eyes could meet again. "And Rose?" I waited. "I _do _know your dating history." He paused. When he spoke his next words, there was an edge of finality in them that I appreciated. "He was a great man."

Images of that man flashed through my mind. I remembered how he offered to me my mentor the very first day we met, all those time he had stood up for me, when he rescued me from Natalie and I almost died in his arms, how composed he was at the Badica house, how even when it was difficult he tried to be with Tasha just for Lissa's safety, how it was _him _that caught me when I collapsed after killing Isaiah and Elena, all those Strigoi he killed during the attack, and finally when he had fallen protecting his people. But the memories of him that really stood out to me were the ones when he went from gentle and loving to fierce and strong. Dimitri Belikov was nothing if not a great man.

"That he was."

* * *

"Unbelievable," I muttered the next morning. Set right in front of me was a package—a thick, orange envelope that had just been delivered an hour ago. The same time I was forced to wake up and answer the door, receiving the lovely said package. According to my clock, I had been staring at the delivery for the past 54 minutes. To say I was scared to open it was a major understatement. I knew I had only a few more minutes now before I had to meet Lissa for breakfast. I just couldn't bring myself to open it. You can guess who sent it to me. I knew before I even read my name scribbled on the front in his handwriting. Another letter was waiting to be read. And considering the package, something else was waiting too.

I glanced at my clock again. Only 10 minutes before Lissa interrupted me with mental calling. _Now or never. _I took a deep breath and ripped the envelope open. Pouring the items onto my lap, I realized I was correct. Another letter, this one shorter than most, emerged. But, so did a box. It was a reddish-maroon colored, rectangular velvet box that fell into my lap. Fantastic. More stolen jewelry from my undead lover. Sighing dramatically, I decided to set aside my gift and read the letter first. Not that I wanted to, but it was better to do it now, while I was alone.

_Dear Rose,_

_You've come so far since we met eight months ago. I would be lying if I said I wasn't proud of you. You've learned many things, Rose—things my own lessons haven't taught you that you have learned on your own. Now, the time has come for you to prove to me and yourself just how amazing you are. The trials will be __**nothing**_ _compared to the tests I have for you. Since I—unfortunately—cannot attend tomorrow, I give you this necklace. Not stolen, I promise. I hope you wear it and think of me as I am thinking of you, my beautiful Rose. Graduation is only twenty-four hours away and the __**real **__battle is about to begin. Be ready. I can't wait to see you again, Roza._

_Love, Dimitri_

When I was finished, I closed my eyes trying to not let his words get to me, like every time I read one of his letters. I hated that this was what Dimitri had become—what he had been forced to become. With gritted teeth, I folded the letter and tossed it into the pile of other letters Dimitri had sent me that I kept in my nightstand drawer. Resuming my seat on the bed, I grabbed the velvet box, counted to three, and opened it.

"Oh my God."

The most beautiful, exquisite necklace gleamed back up at me. Carefully, I detached it from its case and set the box aside. Examining it, I found that it was a velvet, black choker and dangling in the center of it was a thick, silver R. The letter had sparkling, red diamonds engraved into the silver. Twisted around each side of the R was what looked like vines the color of charcoal. I stared in astonishment at the gorgeous necklace. _Not stolen, I promise_. "Unbelievable," I repeated, glancing at it again. Without really thinking about what I was doing, I brushed my hair away from my neck and fastened the necklace around it. It fit perfectly and looked even better on me than I imagined.

With a sigh, I stood up from my bed, stuffing the box and package away before I finished getting ready. I made sure to hide the necklace under my shirt. The last thing I needed was my friends knowing Dimitri was sending me jewelry. I still can't believe he did that! What was the point anyway? According to him, once Dimitri got to me tomorrow, the "real battle was about to begin". Just thinking the words brought chills to my flesh. That's when I realized how serious this was: 24 hours. That's all I had before Lissa was officially my charge. Before I was an _actual_ guardian. Before Dimitri came to _kill _me. The realization struck me, and struck me hard. I was going to have to fight him again, like that night on the bridge....

_Rose_, Lissa called from the bond. It was a wakeup call, reminding me of reality. For right now, I was still a novice. With forced calmness, I left my dorm and wandered off to the commons. Lissa was waiting for me, of course, yet unusually she sat alone this morning. I quickly forgot about that when her deep fear and anxiety washed over me before I was even close to her. I tried to reach through her thoughts to find out what was wrong, but Lissa had purposefully constructed a shield from me. I frowned but decided that she would tell me what was going on when the time was right. I strolled over and took the empty seat in front of her. "Hey."

Lissa glanced up from picking at her bagel. Immediate nervousness filled her eyes at the sight of me. There was some news in her mind she was blocking—something we both knew I wasn't going to like. I was kind of offended she wouldn't just tell me. Was I really _that_ bad? The question answered itself. I broke Mia's nose for a few snarky comments. Of course I was that bad. Still, I didn't appreciate her fear. It's not like I was going to break _her_ nose. "Hi, Rose." Lissa bit her lip and said nothing else.

I rolled my eyes. "Just because you've got a shield doesn't mean I don't know something's wrong. Spit it out, Liss." Slowly, I felt the walls roll down in her mind. I was slapped with the news she had been hiding from me. And I understood why Lissa didn't want to tell me now. My eyes widened as I stared at my best friend with absolute disbelief. "_What_?"

Remorsefully, Lissa nodded. Pure terror and worry flooded the bond. I couldn't say my own feelings weren't the same. Though, I wasn't as scared as much as I was shocked. Honestly, this news was probably 3rd on my list of things to be frightened about. First was, of course, Dimitri's visit and second was the fact I might not be Lissa's guardian. I had plenty of other things to worry about than this. But poor Lissa didn't. It was her worse nightmare coming true—again.

Victor Dashkov had escaped.

"How?" I demanded after sorting through my thoughts. Lissa's fear was so strong; she even pulled me into her head for a few seconds. It was partially interesting and partially freaky to be able to see myself through her eyes. But mostly freaky. It had happened once at Royal Court, way back months ago when we had taken a rare girls day, getting manicures and that stuff. I had witnessed Lissa's perspective of me, though I hadn't told her about it. She saw me as this exotic beauty. It was always interesting to see how other people viewed you.

I got the details in Lissa's head, but she explained anyway. "It was just last night, while you were talking with your dad. He just left! The guardians at first were going crazy but with the queen here, they had to act like nothing was wrong. Tatiana has no idea Victor is even out of prison. God knows what's going to happen now." She stressfully ran her fingers through her smooth veil of pale blonde hair. Her eyes met mine. "Did you talk to him at all yesterday?"

_"Lissa isn't going to help you with anything. How many times do I have to remind you of that?" _His creepy smile flashed through my thoughts. _"Sure she isn't._" I swallowed. "No."

Lissa shook her head, oblivious to the reality of everything. Once again, I found myself watching her back in the shadows. She had no idea. "Why is all of this happening right now? Graduation is tomorrow! We have enough to focus on and this just adds to the pile." Her mind was buzzing with plans. Apparently, Lissa had signed up to help decorate for graduation. No wonder she was so stressed. I almost wanted to laugh at her words. Everything happening at once was common for me. I was pretty much used to it.

But she wasn't. I scooted closer, rubbing Lissa's back in comfort. "I know," I told her, "but everything is going to work out. It always does." Sadly, this time I wasn't so sure. We'd survived Victor the first time around and then that catastrophe with Avery. If it wasn't for the fact Lissa and I were battling two different enemies, I would have been sure we could handle whatever life threw at us now. But the truth was: we _were _fighting different things and as much as she wanted to, Lissa couldn't really help with my situation. I had to protect myself—always.

"Uh oh, is it breakdown time?"

I looked up to have my eyes connect with Adrian's bright green ones. I was a little surprised at the relief that blossomed at the sight of him. I felt like it had been years since he and I just hung out around campus like we'd been doing since I returned. His question had been sardonic, but I knew there was actual concern hidden in there too. My smile was equally sarcastic. "Why, you wanna join? Queen of the Bitches _finally _get to you?"

Adrian smiled broadly at my nickname for his great aunt. "Nah, no one can break me down. Well, except for you, little dhampir." He winked. I laughed a little and Adrian continued talking. "I actually came over here to inform you ladies that there are visitors waiting for you in the school office." He eyed me with a teasing smirk. "Why am I always your secretary?"

I pushed back the snappy retort on my lips and instead asked, "Visitors? Who?"

He shrugged in reply. "Didn't recognize them. They just asked for you while I was visiting Queen of the Bitches. I offered to deliver the message."

Visitors to see Lissa and me? Ugh, I really hoped it didn't involve anything stressful. I didn't want Lissa to have a real breakdown. I stood up anyway, deciding the only way we could find out is getting this over with. Lissa followed me and I dumped her untouched food away. All three of us began our journey to the school's administrative building. I trailed behind with Adrian, lacing my fingers with his. With all that was going on, I wanted something familiar and simple. And honestly, I missed doing things like holding hands or whatever. Adrian crooked a brow at me. It was the first time I made a move before he did. I smiled playfully. "Consider this your reward for being my secretary."

Adrian perked up like a little puppy dog. "So when I do stuff for you, I get rewards?"

I decided to play along. "Nothing too extreme, but yeah."

Adrian suddenly broke free from our tangled hands and ran over to hold the door open for Lissa and me. We both laughed as we passed through. Once inside, Adrian caught up with me again, waiting expectantly. Rolling my eyes, I paused to wind my arm around his neck and peck him softly on the lips. I expected a pout or a comment about lack of action between us but instead Adrian was grinning when I pulled back. "Remind me that I suddenly like community service." Laughing, I stepped into the office with Lissa in tow. My smile slowly dimmed as I took in my surroundings and then found out who our special visitors were. I gasped.

Mark and Oksana.

* * *

**Alright, finally chapter eight is out and done. There was some personal conflict, which is why I had to take down this chapter, but it is now restored. Hopefully the next one will be out soon. You guys already gave me the reviews, so I just have to write it. So I hope you guys liked the chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews and love! You guys are seriously awesome. :) **

**72 days 'til Spirit Bound! **


	9. Weight Of The World

**Nine **

_Feels like the weight of the world,_  
_Like all my screaming has gone unheard._  
_And oh, I know you don't believe in me._  
_Safe in the dark, how can you see?_

**T**ODAY WAS FULL OF wonderful surprises.

As soon as I registered who our guests were, I noticed the knowing smirk on Mark's lips. "Weren't expecting us, huh Rose?" Oksana stood beside him, their fingers braided together. Other than the two of them, the office was rarely empty and quiet. I could feel Lissa's confusion swirling inside of her—but it was also mixed in with some strange recognition as she stared at Oksana. I think spirit users can identify each other in same way dhampirs can with other dhampirs.

"Not exactly," I beamed. "But by now, I'm kind of used to unexpected twists." I accepted the hugs they gave me, then stepped back to openly reveal Lissa and Adrian. "This is my bondmate Lissa Dragomir and my other spirit friend Adrian Ivashkov. He's the one who can walk dreams." Lissa's natural charisma shined as she greeted them, her eyes then returning to study Oksana. I realized then she was checking for her aura. It took a few tries, but through her mind, I saw the golden mist that hung around her, as well as the teal blue that surrounded Mark, brimmed with faint black that came along with being shadow-kissed.

Mark nodded respectively. "Hello princess," Despite living all the way in Russia, they managed to still be somewhat up-to-date with Moroi history. "It's an honor to meet you. This is my wife, Oksana." She smiled friendlily at Lissa, who relaxed and smiled softly back. Mark's eyes shifted to Adrian and he nodded again. "Rose told me you can visit people's dreams. That's amazing. We've never heard of anything like that." It amazed _me _when Adrian and Mark broke off into their own conversation, just like he had with my father. Who knew Adrian was such a socialite? As they continued their discussion about whatever, Oksana finally spoke up, turning to me and Lissa.

"Have you tried any healing sessions? Mark told me you were struggling with the darkness." We hadn't actually. Lissa was working on smaller things with her powers, like creating healing rings and other jewelry with magic in it. It was pretty incredible to witness, but I knew with practice, she could do much cooler stuff. I explained this to Oksana, who nodded understandingly. "It will take a lot of time and trust, which I can tell the two of you have. But you should start as soon as possible. Have you made any working charms?"

That question made me glare at Lissa and made Lissa cower and blush in embarrassment. The first ring she made for me nearly scaled my finger off. "We did try," Lissa confessed. "But either they burned Rose or didn't work at all." I could feel her frustration. "How did you do it?" Something clicked in my mind at the discussion of spirit rings, but at the moment, I couldn't figure out what my mind had pieced together. It was something important—something _really_ important, but I couldn't remember what.

Oksana laughed lightly. "Yes, burning or freezing was a problem Mark and I had to work through for a while. But, what it took was a lot of concentration and of course, practice. I know it's hard to hear, but you really do need to keep trying. What you're doing is basically storing a piece of yourself into an object. That's going to be difficult, obviously. But just like healing, the more you do it, the more you'll get better and the more natural it will become. Spirit is a challenging gift, but it is also a very special one." Oksana and Lissa continued to talk and eventually their voices faded off as something popped up into my mind. The ring. Spirit. Strigoi. Dimitri.

Bingo!

"Oksana," I said urgently, cutting off whatever Lissa was saying. She didn't mind, sensing the sudden seriousness in me. "Remember when I talked to you about um, a Strigoi wearing your spirit ring?" I can't believe I didn't remember this sooner! Had Dimitri been wearing the ring? That was as impossible as him getting past the wards...yet somehow, he had done that too. It didn't make any sense. How could Dimitri get a ring like that? Lissa still had the one Mark gave me. My mind was literally reeling right now.

Oksana paused thoughtfully. As she recalled the conversation we had that night, the same grimness she had about the "crazy spirit user" returned to her features. "Yes Rose, I remember. What brought this on?"

Lissa wanted to know too. She was gaping at me with confusion and uncharacteristic impatience. She knew me well enough to recognize when a crazy, simply Rose Hathaway idea was brewing in my mind. Slowly, things continued to come together. I could barely talk fast enough. "I was just thinking of something. What did you say happens again when Strigoi wear the ring?" I sort of remembered her words, but I needed her to repeat them and explain again. Lissa's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything.

"Well, I've never actually experimented with that, Rose. You told me a Strigoi had done it. But, I assume just like with healing you, the ring would affect a Strigoi as well. I think it might maybe heal a small portion of their darkness or whatever it is that consumes them. Maybe it allows them to think clearly, maybe restore their morals or emotions." She shrugged, not noticing how I had completely frozen. "Like I said, I'm not sure what happens." Seeing as I didn't add or ask anything else, she resumed her conversation with Lissa, talking something about the super compulsion thing she had done. I was still trying to catch my breath.

_Do you love him? _His voice echoed in my ears. Chills spread down my spine. All this time Dimitri had the ring. Somehow, some way, he had gotten a hold of one. It hadn't made him dhampir again, of course, but I had noticed the change in him immediately. He wasn't as cruel or calculating as he had been before. I was started to wonder if that mocking persona was just an act he had put on so I wouldn't expect anything. If all of this was true, why had Dimitri still been tracking me? His letter had confirmed he was still coming for me tomorrow. He had the opportunity to kill me multiple times now—and he hadn't done it. So what was his new plan? Did he even have one? There were so many new questions, only mixing in with the ones I hadn't even answered yet like: Was I going to be Lissa's guardian? Where did Victor go? Was Abe going to help me like he said he would? Then, there was the biggest question I found myself asking almost every night: Would Dimitri had said he loved me?

"Rose?" Lissa called. I saw that Adrian had left the room. Mark and Oksana looked like they were getting ready to leave as well. I guessed I had spaced out during their visit. Nice. I said my goodbyes to them and then turned back to Lissa. Anxiety washed over me from her. But, she was purposefully blocking her thoughts from me again. I realized, astounded, that there was something else Lissa was hiding from me this morning. She only told me about Victor, not the other thing. "I have to go handle some....princess duties, but we'll meet up for lunch okay?"

Still suspicious, I let her leave then decided to torture myself and go to the gym.

* * *

Oksana's words were still swinging in my head when I reached the gym. They were startling. Spirit—even just a touch of it—healed Strigoi darkness. It was _not_ my imagination. When Dimitri played with the ring for those few minutes, he was able to briefly reach his emotions that were deeply buried within him, but were still there. I also knew that—somehow—Dimitri had gotten a hold of his own spirit induced ring. Which he was wearing right now. A book's worth of questions flooded my mind knowing that, but I put them away for now, to handle later. Then, I entered the gym.

When I first returned from Russia and began some sessions with Alberta, I couldn't come inside this building without having an emotional breakdown that included bawling my eyes out once or twice. Now after almost 3 months, I was sort of healed. All I got was a head full of memories and a pang of agony to my heart. Dimitri and I had spent almost everyday in here together. I swallowed back a sigh and looked around. I was only a little surprised to find my mother in here, assaulting a punching bag across the room. Her short, red hair was in a pony tail while she was covered in sweat-wetted workout clothes. I crossed the room, trying to avoid any eye contact with the equipment in here, lest I go into another unwanted crying session—in front of my mother, no less.

Her senses caught me almost immediately as she stopped and waited for me. I expected to see curiosity in her eyes, knowing I spoke to Abe yesterday. Instead, her brown eyes were distraught, as if trapped in some old memory. I imagined that's what I looked like when thinking about Dimitri. "Hello Rose." I followed her over to a wooden bench. There was no stalling with Janine Hathaway. She took 2nd place when it came to bluntness, right next to Sydney. "Would you like to tell me what you were doing the past few days, away from school _again_?"

"Well, I wouldn't like to," I answered sarcastically. She narrowed her eyes. "But, I know you'll make me say it anyway so....I was breaking Victor Dashkov out of prison." Not even my mother knew what to saw to that. Her jaw dropped, just like I knew it would, in utter astonishment. Without hesitation, I recited why I went through with this, almost automatically, like a robot was saying the words through my mouth. When I finished, her mouth was closed, but she still looked in total shock. "I know, I know, I'm completely insane and stupid and irresponsible, but I still don't regret what I'm doing. It's my choice to go through with this and I'm going to do it."

"Rose," she whispered, blinking. She took a minute to gather her thoughts. "You...you can't go through with this! I know you loved him but this is your life we're talking about—your future and Lissa's future too! How can you just put all of that on the line for some most likely unattainable chance at doing something people would have done centuries ago if they had the chance? Changing a Strigoi back? It doesn't matter who it is, Rose. You can't do this." She set her lips in a thin, adamant line.

"You don't understand." I said harshly. "I already risked everything when I went after him the first time! I had to put a stake through his heart, mom! Until you've done what I did and been through the hell I had to go through, you can't sit there and judge my decisions."

My statement made her laugh. "Rose, you have no idea what you're talking about. You spent practically your whole life hating me for 'abandoning' you for my charge, yet you had no idea what _I_ had to go through to get you here. Do you think it's easy for a mother to leave her child? Do you think it was easy for me to leave Abe just so _you_ could have a future as a guardian?" I froze. "You can believe that you know everything just because you've been through a lot of hard times, but just remember who's lived longer and experienced a little more 'hell' than you have. Maybe I didn't have to almost kill the person I loved, Rose, but I did have to leave him."

"Okay," I swallowed then went with the same thing I had told her love. "Put yourself in my position. You know how much I love Lissa and how I would do anything to protect her. But at the same time, I loved him. What if it was Abe? What if he was sentenced to a life of killing innocent people, a life he didn't choose? What if you had one shot, no matter how crazy and impossible it was, to save him?" I stared at her right in the eyes. "What would you do?"

She frowned but said nothing. I continued. "You're going to tell me that you wouldn't try?" Silence. I smiled bitterly. "Exactly. I know I'm only 18 and to everyone else, I'm just a child that hasn't experienced life or really learned about love. But I know what I'm talking about when I say I'm in love with that man. And I know I want to save him. I risked killing myself to do so before and it would have been worth it if it worked. There's if nothing you can say that you change how I feel about this." I didn't want to hurt my mom, especially after all the progress we made, but something about her words raised a defiant and defensive part of me that I couldn't hold back.

My mom looked at me sadly. "You do whatever you want, Rose, like always." Then she stood up and walked away, leaving me alone in the gym for the first time in so many months. Suddenly, it seemed a lot bigger than it actually was. With fresh anger, I stood up as well, moving over to one of the punching bags and attacked it. It was like every time my fist connected with the bag, one of my many, many problems came back to me: the argument I just had with my mother, Lissa and Christian's break up, the situation with Adrian, Victor's escape, Abe's promise to help, being Lissa's guardian, and of course, Dimitri. The more I thought about each one of them, the more stress began to build up into me, resulting in more and more hard punches. Sweat coated my skin. My breathing became ragged. I lost myself so easily in the fight.

I didn't know how I long I had stayed in that gym. It was like I had disappeared into my own world. But apparently it was long enough for Lissa to get worried and call for me. At least, that's why I thought she was calling me. I opened myself to her emotions and was sucked in like a tornado. She was pacing around her dorm room anxiously. Scattered around her vanity's countertop were different schedules and pamphlets about Lehigh University. Most of her clothes were packed away in suitcases parked on the floor, ready to leave to Court or wherever I needed her to go. Lissa's worry was even worse in her own mind. I struggled and yanked myself out, sprinting out of the gym. It was close to dinner time for everyone. I had missed eating lunch with Lissa, but knew that wasn't important right now. Feeling like her guardian, I entered the Moroi dorms and raced to her room, pounding on the door.

Lissa opened up instantly, relief spreading over her features. It was brief. She looked into my eyes and said, "They have news about Victor."

* * *

**I know this isn't one of my longer chapters, but I'm just happy I finally updated! Yeah yeah, I know you all want to shoot me. I'm super sorry about abadoning this story, but it was really important that I focus on school right now. I'm gonna try to have Chapter 10 out by Sunday to make it up to you guys! =) So here it is, Chapter 9. I hope you enjoyed it! Only 5 reviews for the next one. Thanks so much for all the support. I love you guys! **

**59 days til Spirit Bound!**

**P.S Next chapter will have some Dimka in it! **


	10. In Your Skin

**Ten**

_Wake up, take a breath, and remember why you're even breathing_

**M**Y EYES WIDENED.

I hadn't expected any news on Victor so soon, if ever. Lissa was understandably terrified out of her mind, but she managed to take a breath and report to me, "He's disappeared. The guardians and psi hounds haven't found one single trace of him. The only thing they got was this." Lissa held out her hand and revealed a perfectly smooth, yet torn out piece of notebook paper to me. Gingerly, but curiously, I took it from her, unfolded, and read it. It was short and precise.

_Rosemarie, _

_Well, we did have a deal, my dear. My wonderful brother is currently dwelling in Brooklyn, New York. He's not well, as I assume you know, so he is living with one of our childhood friends that can look after him. Her name is Michelle Paval. She has a townhouse in the city that can't be too hard to locate. I'm afraid that's all the information I can give you. But I do thank you kindly, Rose, for releasing me. It was a wise decision for the Moroi and dhampir society. Soon, you all will realize this. Unfortunately, you will regret your decision on not joining in on my plan with Vasilisa. What a shame. It would have been such a great pleasure to work together._

_Until next time, _

_Victor _

"What does it say?" Lissa asked as soon as I folded the paper again, slipping it into my jeans pocket, just in case it might be necessary again. I couldn't bring myself to answer her yet. Brooklyn, New York. Well, it wasn't Siberia, but it still wasn't right next door, either. I held back a sigh. I had my work cut out for me. How I was going to sneak the Dragomir princess off on _another _mission was beyond me, but I would come up with something, as I always did. For now, I turned my attention back to Lissa, who was waiting with baited breath.

I couldn't tell her about the threat he snuck in, of course, despite my promise to not lie to Lissa ever again, after all my secrets had blow up in my face. I did tell her something though. "It gives Robert's location, sort of." Naturally the address couldn't be handed to me. Nothing in my life was ever that easy. I was going to hunt Doru down after all. Ugh, I'm already getting a headache just thinking about how the hell we were going to pull this off. I found Dimitri, "staked" him, found Victor, and broke him out of prison, yet this smaller task seemed inevitably bigger than the last. I kind of wanted to give up, or at least, take a break. But I couldn't do that. Not after all the work I had done and especially not since somewhere deep inside, Dimitri was counting on me to save him. I wasn't finished yet.

"Well that's good," Lissa said, trying to sound optimistic. Thoughts and memories of her worst enemy plagued her mind, but she was trying to be strong, like me. I knew from experience (duh!) how hard it was, practically impossible, sometimes to be strong. It sounded so easy to just let go and let your own fear eat you alive. But Lissa was learning the hard way that it was worth it in the long run to keep fighting, even when sometimes, you could forget what you were fighting for. Lissa sighed, shaking the past away. "What are we going to do?"

I had been working on a couple of plans lately, but right now, we were still in school. Even when currently fighting with my mother, I wasn't going to break my promise to her. I promised to stay in school to the very end, which is exactly what I was going to do. I looked into my best friend's eyes, for the first time wearing my guardian mask in front of her. "Graduate," I told her flatly. Feeling like the paper was a ton of rocks in my pocket; I turned around and walked back to my dorm.

* * *

The next morning I received a lovely wakeup call once again from Lissa and Christian. Only this time, it wasn't their love birding the interrupted my sleep. It was Lissa's pounding nervousness that yanked me into her head. She was up and dressed early this morning, climbing the steps to the attic in the school's church—her and Christian's old romantic getaway. Butterflies flared in her stomach as she twisted the knob to the entrance and opened the door, stepping inside. Christian sat by the window on the floor in the exact same place the two of them have their first real conversation, but at that time, Lissa had been sitting there.

I read the story in her mind; surprisingly finding out Christian had requested to have Lissa meet him up here. He hadn't really been mean since their tragic break-up, but he hadn't been nice and friendly either. Christian had just needed his space after all that went down, which Lissa had a hard time understanding and an even harder time giving it to him. That's what made this little visit so weird. Other than our road trip together, Christian never voluntarily stayed in the same room as Lissa, let alone asked for a conversation with her. This was going to be good.

He looked at her as soon as the door shut. I was forced to feel the reoccurring pain and longing that bubbled through Lissa every time she looked at him. Their eyes connected for the first time in a while and while Lissa only felt her heart trip, I could see the same misery and desire in Christian's eyes that she didn't. He cloaked it well though, a second later, and frowned. "Hello Lissa," he greeted civilly. She inwardly winced at the formal way he spoke to her, so different from before. He gestured toward the vacant spot in front of him and Lissa obliged.

If it wasn't an awkward silence they were in, then I didn't know what was. Lissa was fiddling with her fingers while Christian studied the floors, obviously trying to gather his thoughts. Finally he sighed and dropped the unusual solemn act. "Look Liss, I know what happened wasn't entirely your fault." Lissa opened her mouth to agree, but Christian shook his head. "Please let me finish. I know you were influenced by Avery's compulsion and darkness and overall Rose's leaving, but you were still changing right in front of me regardless, right?" Lissa nodded meekly, biting her lip. Then, her love did the unthinkable and lifted her chin gently with his fingers. His ice blue eyes looked at her with the same venerate and gooey look as before that made me nauseous. "But, I can't hold that against you. You lost your best friend. That changes a person. I changed when I lost my parents, obviously. I'm not angry with you."

Lissa wanted to fly away with happiness, but something in his little speech bugged her. "But you've been avoiding me for two months! Why?" In a whisper, she added, "I missed you."

Christian's frowned deepened at the clear sadness in her. "I really needed some time on my own. I'm done now, though, so...." He trailed off suggestively.

Her eyes widened, her heart flooding with hope. "So....does this mean you want to get back together?" Lissa tried so hard to not get too excited, in case Christian wasn't thinking the same thing she was, but it was hard. She was struggling enough to not throw herself in his arms right then and there. I was happy for her, really happy, don't get me wrong, but the same jealousy resurfaced in me. She just might get her happy ending while my prince was still a frog monster that wanted to kill me.

Christian turned thoughtful. "We're graduating later today. A lot of things are going to change." Lissa held her breath. "Our futures are coming." He looked at Lissa again, conveying all the love he had for her in his eyes. It made my own heart ache. "And I can't imagine _my _future without _you_ in it, Lissa." She continued to stare, hopeful and confused. Christian gave a rare, genuine laugh. "Yes," he told her. "I want us to get back together!"

Lissa laughed then too, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting herself melt against his body once more. Just as they were about to kiss and probably celebrate their getting back together, I pulled out of Lissa's head. Leaning back against my pillows, I noticed the ache in my chest hadn't left yet. Honestly, would it ever? It had been over 3 months since I had been with Dimitri but it might as well have been 3 minutes. I was learning that you just couldn't get over true love like that easily. Especially since that person wasn't really gone. With a heavy, dramatic sigh, I snuggled back into my bed and willed myself to sleep.

When I felt myself drifting off, I was so sure Adrian had decided to pay a visit. Since we spent so much time together during the day, he had been laying off the dream stalking but, well, I guess he wasn't going to let go out of it completely. But I was wrong. This wasn't one of Adrian's dreams, yet it wasn't one of my normal ones either. I found myself standing on an empty beach, the moist sand warm between my toes. The sky was pitch black, nighttime, with sparkling stars sequined across it. The moon hung beautifully full, seeming to kiss the tips of the dark, deep blue ocean stretched before me. I noticed I was only dressed in a deep purple bikini top and black jean shorts. My nazaar dangled from a belly button ring, but my chotki was nowhere to be found. I didn't pay too much attention to it, deciding to admire the eerie looking, yellow moon instead.

A nostalgic sigh broke from beside me. "God, you're so beautiful. How can my memories serve so poorly against how amazing you really look?"

I expected my body to freeze up at the voice, like it would in the real world, but I seemed to somehow know I _wasn't_ in reality right now. That knowledge allowed me to easily turn my head and find Dimitri sitting in the sand only a few feet away. He was staring at the moon now, like I had been. He looked the same as always, except there was something significantly different about him tonight. Well, other than the fact he was wearing a pair of dark jeans and nothing else, leaving the breathtaking view of him shirtless. I took in his pale skin and red eyes calmly, as if nothing had been out of the ordinary and found myself strolling over and sitting beside him.

Dimitri faced me. Hanging from a black string around his neck was one of the silver, plain, spirit rings. Technically, he wasn't wearing it. This fact, like everything else, didn't bother me either. Everything on this beach seemed peaceful, even me, when I should have been freaking out. His eyes regarded me longingly. "Roza," he whispered. I was able to reach out, cupping my hand over his cheek. The skin wasn't ice cold. It felt lukewarm, like the sand and the air on this beach. Dimitri leaned into my touch anyway, closing his eyes. Then, he hooked an arm around my waist, effortlessly lifting me so I straddled him, sitting on his lap. My hand slid down, resting on his chest with my other hand. Both his arms were encircled around my waist now. He opened his eyes, sighing again, and this time, it was weary. "I wish I could stay here with you forever."

My fingers traced his perfect abs, making his eyes flutter close, body melting to my touch. "Where are we?" I actually wouldn't mind staying here forever either. It was so serene, like all of my problems and pain from the world just left me, like it couldn't touch me here. Sadly, I did know though that it was a dream and I had to wake up, sooner or later.

Dimitri pulled me close to him, kissing right below my ear. I shivered and my skin caught fire when his lips touched me. I no longer feared the fangs. "It's a place similar to where Adrian goes for his dreams, except I'm not a spirit user, so I can't do that. But it does involve spirit, so it's just an illusion." His tone was wistful again.

I buried my face in his neck, clinging to his body. It would have been the perfect opportunity right then to ask how he was involved with spirit and where he got the ring, but strangely, I didn't care at the moment. I just wanted to relax and be with him. "I don't want to go back." I mumbled into his strong chest. His hands rubbed my back soothingly.

"Mmm, I know Roza, I know." He didn't say anything else and strangely, that was okay. We didn't need words when we were together, just like before and like now. I let him hold me, rubbing my back and running his fingers through my hair while I kissed all over his chest, savoring every beautiful second I had with him, on this quiet, strange beach. Eventually though, I knew the dream was coming to an end. Reality was back to wake us up. Sighing, Dimitri untangled us from each other. His voice was bitter and angry. "You have to go back now."

"No!" I protested, for the first time feeling something other than nonchalance and love. It was like being at Galina's again, only better. I was away from everything. Just thinking about going back reminded me about Lissa and how today was graduation. I didn't want to remember those things and even more importantly, I didn't want to leave Dimitri.

"Yes Roza," He argued calmly. He clearly wasn't happy at letting me leave—he probably would have kept me here forever, if he could—but he accepted that he had too. Seeing how upset I was, Dimitri tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, kissing my neck sweetly. "I'll see you soon." He ended the dream.

I opened my eyes just a second before hearing the pounding on my door. It was Lissa. She was here so we could get ready for graduation together and then have the boys escort us to the ceremony. Well, she had been here for the past 4 minutes, banging on my door, growing concerned. But when I answered her slight annoyance and worry faded and she squealed, bursting inside the room leaving me to sluggishly follow. I still hadn't really returned from that weird dream. Dimitri had really been there and so had I.

The thought of us like that, together without death threats and fighting, made warmth flood me, all the way to my toes. But it didn't last. I was back to the real world where my mind could function and I could remember—and freak out—about what I had just discovered. Dimitri was in contact with a spirit user! Avery was institutionalized and Adrian and Lissa were with me. I highly doubted Oksana would help a Strigoi, even if he was wearing a ring. That only left Robert Doru, as far as spirit users I knew. Did Dimitri beat me to him? Wow, what bittersweet irony. But maybe...maybe he had met _another_ spirit user? Someone who could help him?

"Come on, Rose, don't zone out on me again!"

I snapped back to life, where Lissa was holding at least 8 different, gorgeous dresses on her arms. My eyes zeroed in on one. "Ooh, I want that one!" I jumped up and down like a little kid, pointing excitedly at the shiny blue one. It was stunning: a glossy, sky blue gown with crisscross straps in the back, a flowing train, and diamond details. Lissa giggled at my eagerness and handed it over. Without hesitation, I striped and changed into it, staring in awe at how incredible it looked on me. Lissa had perfect silver heels to match.

Once I was dressed, I helped her pick out what she wanted to wear: a strapless, shimmering gold gown with a ruched bodice and beaded lace sewed into it. We were going to give every male a heart attack, just like old times. After we were clothed, Lissa straightened her hair, leaving it shiny and long around her while I went for a stylish, elegant bun. It showed off my tattoos and kept my hair out of my face. We completed our make-up, laughing and talking as we did so. I soaked it as much of the girly free time as I could, knowing it wouldn't last. By the time we had finished, it was only an hour until graduation. Lissa's turn to freak out.

"Oh my god!" Lissa screeched when she saw the time. "Ah hour, Rose! Ah hour is all we have left as seniors! Can you believe this?" She squealed and shook my arm.

I laughed at her antics, but on the inside, I was miserable. No matter how much I resented the Academy, I wasn't ready to leave. As soon as I stepped out of these gates (metaphorically, of course) everything was going to change. The games began. No field experience. No classes. It was the real deal. I had slain numerous Strigoi, yet that didn't make me invincible. I wasn't scared exactly, but, I didn't know if I was ready to leave just yet. But, this was all on the inside and like so many times before, I was thankful Lissa couldn't read _my_ mind. "Unbelievable," I agreed with a forced smile. Seconds later someone else beat on the door. I was seriously considering get a door bell.

Lissa rushed to answer it. I followed behind. There stood Christian, swallowing his pride, in an all black tux and gold tie that coordinated perfectly with Lissa's dress. Adrian stood behind him, not matching me, but still looking devastatingly handsome in his gray suit and green unbuttoned undershirt. He had slicked his hair back and it looked good. "Little dhampir," He whistled, not paying attention as Lissa snapped multiple, unwanted photos of Christian in his tux. "Don't you know how to make my knees weak?"

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Isn't that hard, Ivashkov." He grinned back, winding his arm around my waist. Dimitri was still on my mind and in my heart, but it was nice to be with Adrian right now and I admittedly liked the idea of him taking me to my graduation. It was unexpected but pleasant.

"Guys, gather together!" Lissa ordered handing the camera to Eddie, who had walked up with Meredith and another novice girl. He had avoided wearing a tux, but still cleaned up nice. Lissa squeezed between me and Christian. The four of us huddled together, waiting for the light to flash. _One big happy family. _I would never really be able to explain to anyone why my smile was so fake when that pictured had been taken.

* * *

Thankfully, Kirova had decided to let us senior not have the graduation at the school, which meant we got to go somewhere nice instead. Dozens of guardians went along with us, including my mother, who was still here. I felt a little weird seeing her, but said nothing. It took about 6 school vans to take all of us, but we finally didn't arrive at the place, only about an hour away from the school, closer to the city. The ceremony was being held in a park where they set up a large stage surrounded by folded chairs. Lights were spread out and hung from the trees, illuminating the dark place. It was big, but also well hidden enough for creatures of the night to have their secret graduation.

Everyone dismounted and we got straight to business. Guardians encircled the area while the students dressed in their caps and gowns. We all looked great, but I knew I would regret the high heels I was wearing when I had to climb the steeps steps to the stage and try _not_ to snap my ankle. They placed us so girls sat on the left side of the stage and boys sat on the right. We would be paired up, novice with Moroi, Moroi with Moroi, novice with novice, as we went up to get our diplomas. Without any delay, our Headmistress took the stage, Alberta loyally at her side, and began to read off the people in alphabetical order by last name. I zoned out until someone important actually went up.

"Vasilisa Dragomir and Eddie Castile," Kirova called neutrally.

Blushing, Lissa stood up and met up with Eddie. I whistled and cheered loudly, half for Lissa and half to get on Kirova's nerves. They strolled up the steps, Eddie making sure she went up smoothly like a true gentleman, and took their diplomas. I went left alone as my best friend and Eddie went to stand beside the stage where the other graduates were. I waited, impatiently, as Christian got called up with some novice girl. I swear Kirova was waiting until the last possible minute to give me my damn diploma. The names just kept being called, none of them mine.

"Lillian Harkov and Steven Galca.......Charlotte Ivashkov and Brian Gordievsky........Rosemarie Hathaway and Jesse Zeklos......."

At first, I thought I was imagining it. How in the hell did Zeklos go with Hathaway? From Jesse and Ralf's howling laughter, I figured he somehow snuck his name in there. Rolling my eyes, I stood up anyway, smiling at my novice friends and Adrian, who was doing this embarrassing whistle thing from the back. Dressed in a blood red, untucked and half-way buttoned shirt, Jesse didn't look too bad, but I still inwardly gagged when I saw him, making sure he didn't dare to touch me as we walked.

Of course Jesse tried to be all cool and slick tried to get his arm around my waist but my warning glare and threat stopped him before I could get expelled right before I was supposed to leave for injuring another student. "Unless you're planning on graduating with a dislocated arm, Zeklos, don't touch me."

Jesse smiled back loftily, but we both knew my threat was taken seriously by him. He stepped back, allowing me to clamber the stairs without his help, though I secretly wouldn't have minded something to hold on to while I wobbled my way up. Thankfully, I maintained my balance and reached Kirova, smirking like the troublemaker I would always be at heart. "Don't cry too much when I'm gone, Kirova." I joked, shaking her hand. I had to admit, it made me a bit sad thinking I might never see her or any of my obnoxious teachers again, like Stan.

She shook her head and grinned in response. "It's been fun, Miss Hathaway." There was a fond twinkle in her eye that I could never forget. "You're going to be a great guardian."

I nodded in acknowledgement to her compliment then moved on to Alberta, who, despite her touch exterior, had tears streaking her leathery cheeks. She smiled and rubbed my arm. Her words both pleased and killed me. "He would have been so, so proud of you, Hathaway." Then, I was forced to keep moving, exiting off the second staircase over to a bouncing Lissa who was clinging onto to Christian and Eddie. Her joy mingled with mine, except mine was tainted by pain that I didn't show.

"Alright," Adrian began, ambling over with his hands in his pockets. I had to urge to kiss him—I was feeling horribly sentimental right then—but held back and hugged him instead. "Why don't I take the little graduates out to eat?" He asked everyone, but his eyes were on me.

For some reason, I felt like there was a sea of mixed up emotions swirling through me. I felt happy, bitter, nervous, relieved, and sad all at the same time. Not wanting to say something stupid or even worse, breakdown, I just nodded then allowed my friends to pick a place. I was only half listening as they bickered about where to go, my eyes prowling over the park. _I'll see you soon_....how soon was soon? According to his last letter, the real battle was about to begin. Shouldn't I be reacting? Shouldn't I be getting ready to fight?

Adrian touched my back, shattering my thoughts. "Come on, Rose. Let's go celebrate!"

I allowed him to lead me away, though I wasn't sure I should. I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

* * *

The place my friends picked was amazing. I'm talking straight up, 5 stars, Royal Moroi worthy. It was an exquisite sky-scraper, silver building that seemed to glow against the dark skies in the night and touch the moon. Towards the very top of the tower, all of the walls were made of glass. Adrian explained that the bottom half of the building was a restaurant while the upper half were bedrooms that people could stay at over night. He teasingly suggested we could rent one for the two of us and despite denying him; I had an odd desire to go see one of the rooms. The city itself was already extraordinarily beautiful. I could only imagine what the view would be like from up there.

The Ivashkov prince led the way through the restaurant portion. The floors were coated in crimson red carpet. It smelt of expensive perfume and wine. The walls were really the best feature though. They were made out of large, carved rocks and boulders, shaped to frame the room with a glass roof that was surprisingly impossible to see through. You only got a glossy reflection of yourself if you looked into it. Scattered around the big room were wooden tables and booths, covered in gold tablecloths and fine silverware. The chairs seemed to be made out of some polished wood. Adrian guided our group over to a booth towards the back. The room was fairly crowded.

As soon as we sat down, for some reason, all eyes fell on me. I stared back blankly. "What?"

Lissa toyed with her black napkin. "Rose, I told Christian about what happened with Victor and the note he sent you. He wants to go with us."

Adrian looked clueless, which, he kind of was. "What note?" He peeked at me accusingly. "Where are you guys going?"

Lissa snapped her eyes to me in disbelief. She had no idea I hadn't told Adrian anything about our plans. He barely even knew the specifics about why we broke Victor out of jail, but he helped, for me, anyway. I begged her with my eyes not to say a word. With pursed lips, she agreed. _You have to tell him. _I nodded to confirm that I would, even though I really didn't want to. "Don't worry about it," I told Adrian calmly, not showing how unstable I was feeling on the inside. I had a feeling my weird emotions might have to do with spirit darkness. I turned my eyes to the happy couple. "We'll talk about this another time, just.....not tonight, please."

Conversation switched to Lehigh University. Christian swore he was going to attend with her now and Adrian started blabbing about what "plans" the queen had for the Dragomir princess. I stayed quiet throughout the discussions, just eating my dinner, while trying to not think too hard about one problem. The joy of graduation was starting to wear off faster than I thought it would. Lissa noticed, but not wanted to attract attention to me when I obviously didn't want it, she didn't say anything. I was grateful. By the end of the meal, I felt like I was going to explode. Was this how Anna felt before she flew off the handle? I could scarcely bear to sit still. Everyone else was going to return to the school. I told them I would meet with them later, deciding to check out one of the rooms after all.

"I'll go with you." Adrian offered cheerily, slipping his jacket back on. I think he too realized something was up for me. I had been far too quiet to be myself, so I guess it couldn't have been too hard to put 2 and 2 together. Also, I think his ulterior motive was to get me to talk about Victor and his note. Adrian didn't like being left out of the loop.

"That's okay," I said, trying to keep cool. It didn't work to well, considering my shaky voice. "I'd rather go alone and I don't want to keep you guys from getting back before dawn." That was a good excuse. I only had about 30 minutes, probably less, until the sun started to come up.

Adrian couldn't argue with that and finally left with Lissa and Christian. As soon as they were gone, I went straight to the elevator. I pressed the button for the highest room on the 22nd floor. As soon as the doors opened, it was like my crazy emotions increased. I quickly stepped out and wandered down the long hallway. The floors had the same carpeting as the restaurant and the walls were made out of this cool, metal. Running my fingers over them, I found they were as cold as I guessed. When I got to the end of the hall, I stopped, only to find one of the white, French double doors were creaked open. My mind told me to turn around and go back to the safety of the Academy, but my instinct told me to go inside. Which do you honestly think I listened to?

I stepped inside, shutting both doors behind me, and was wafted over by cool air conditioner. I drank in the room with awe. It was even more beautiful than anything else inside the building, shaped like a crescent. The entire west side of the wall was made out of glass, giving a breathtaking view of the busy city below and the dark night. I could see the moon poking out from behind another gorgeous sky-scraper across from this one. Turning around, I found there was a crackling fire place in one corner, warming up the room, made out of sleek, black wood. The walls behind it were made out of metal similar to the hallway. It was like all the sounds from the outside had been blocked out. The floors were shiny and black marble tile. Deeper into the room, I saw there was a plush-looking, king sized bed decorated by a velvet, blood red comforter and a mountain of gold and black, down pillows. Last but not least, in the center of the room, were two black leather loveseats. Slouched in one of them was my company.

"Hello Roza."

* * *

**Happy Spring Break everybody!!! Thank you so much for all my reviews. Your support really does inspire me. :) So now that school is out of the way for a little while (hallelujah!) you can expect a lot more updates from me with this story. I already have chapter 11 halfway done and can't wait to finish it up! So at least 3 reviews for the next chapter. Thanks**

_**52 days til Spirit Bound!!**_


	11. Away From Me

**I can't even explain how amazing you guys are. I'm so excited to keep writing this story! Thank you so so so so much for all of my reviews. You have no idea how much it means to me when you guys like my writing. :) Ok, this chapter is going to be a lot darker than the other ones. I really want you guys to concentrate on the first part of it though, on Dimitri's feelings. The lyrics I put in the beginning are describing exactly how he feels when he's around Rose—at least, in my story. **

**Disclaimer: All I legally own is my laptop. Thanks. **

**P.S I made a mistake in the previous chapters saying Rose and the others got their promise marks, when I meant to say they got their marks that said they finished their training. Just disregard that and pretend they haven't gotten them yet, m'kay? Thanks. **

* * *

**Eleven **

_I'm longing to be lost in you_  
_(away from this place I have made)_  
_Won't you take me away from me_

**"H**ELLO ROZA."

My heart leaped into my throat. It wasn't necessarily because Dimitri was sitting there, watching me—that was part of it, of course, but it was more because of how _hot _Dimitri looked sitting there, watching me. He was wearing a blood red button down shirt, with his sleeves rolled up and the first three buttons left unbuttoned, giving an enticing peek of his chest with a black tie undone around his neck, black leather pants, and matching black shoes that reminded me of something a rock star would wear. I was utterly shocked; Dimitri never dressed so....goddamn sexy. It took my breath away. Somehow, I found words. "Dimitri," I replied curtly, trying to not seem fazed by his....appearance.

He smirked as if he could see through me. Oh wait—he could. Slowly, he rose from the chair and glided over to me, taking his time with each movement. Part of my brain was still functioning and it wondered if Dimitri had dressed that way for me. He stopped only a foot away. I nearly gasped when our eyes met. They were still red-rimmed, obviously, but they were crackling with this _dark _passion and rage that confused me. His eyes were miserable while he was still smirking. His fingers reached out, grazing temptingly over my bottom lip, and it felt like drops of ice over my skin. "Weren't expecting to see me so soon, were you?"

When he said that, it clicked. The weird dream came back to me, along with the conversation I had with Oksana. My eyes flashed down to see, indeed, there was a silver band wrapped around Dimitri's left ring finger. It was an interesting place to put it. I decided to not say anything though. Dimitri had come here for a reason and I wanted—needed—to know what that was. Until then, I played along and smirked back. "Not exactly," I whispered, stepping closer so our chests were practically touching. I kept my eyes half-shut, trying to appear as swooned as he was attempting to make me. It wasn't that hard. With the way he looked and smelled so, so close to me, I was barely acting. "It's a _pleasure_ to meet again, Dimitri."

Startled, he stepped back, away from me. He hadn't expected me to react with the same dark sexiness he was feeding me. His eyes narrowed, focusing on me. I can't believe I missed how identical he was to the old Dimitri before. He looked the same as when he used to try to figure me out, my motives and intentions. He always guessed correctly; he knew me that well. I wouldn't be surprised if he caught me now. "What are you doing?" He snapped, voice cold. Only, I could detect the nervousness behind it that I hadn't got before. His voice wasn't as cruel and uncaring as it was supposed to be. Dimitri was a good actor, but maybe, he underestimated how well I knew _him. _

I flashed my man-eating smile that I had kept buried since Mason died. I hadn't needed it with anyone else. "Whatever you want me to do," I purred back, sliding my arms up and down his chest. I couldn't believe the thrill I was getting out of this. It was fun to mess with him. That was until I got a reaction I wasn't expecting.

Dimitri's eyes sparked and there was only pure anger in them. His mouth straightened into a thin line. His voice was as cold as ice. Damn. He looked like what he was: a Strigoi. "I want you to stop." He hissed. "Whatever you're trying to do, Rose, just stop!"

The words were out before I could bite my tongue. "Fine, I'll stop lying when you do." He crooked a brow at me. I pointed to his left hand. "What, are you married now, Dimitri? How stupid do you think I am? I know what that is so when you're ready to stop pretending, I am too!"

I would be lying if I said what happened next didn't scare me. I thought Dimitri was going to admit that he was wearing a spirit ring. Or maybe he would lie again and I would have to work the truth out of him. No. Once again, I guessed his reactions wrong. I wasn't as good at reading him as I thought I was. Dimitri whipped around, yanking a beautiful but pointless art piece off a black wooden shelf and slammed it against the ground, releasing a cry of rage. It shattered into thousands and thousands of pieces of broken marble. He turned back around so fast that I took a step back. This made him laugh—a humorless and cold Strigoi laugh that burned my hopes up. "Oh, now you wanna move away from me! A second ago you were ready to pounce! What's wrong, Roza?" He took another step closer. I fought the urge to back away. His eyes were terrifying. "Are you afraid?"

I kept my face blank. "No."

"Don't lie to me!" He roared.

I stayed silent, unsure of how to react to this. I didn't know what to do. I thought having that ring meant that he would act different. He did act different at Galina's when he was touching it. What was the difference now? Why was he so angry? And why the hell didn't I leave when I had the chance? Dimitri shook his head. I watched him, too scared and confused to do anything. It was then that I realized he was my weakness. Out of everything in the world, Dimitri was the one thing that brought me nightmares. He was the only person I was absolutely terrified of. He knew me from the inside out, all of my skills and movements and strengths and the things that would break me. That knowledge made him my ultimate enemy. Even if I had my stake—which I didn't!—it wouldn't have mattered. I would still be scared of him, out of my mind.

Dimitri surprised me by reaching out and grabbing my chin. I tried slapping his hand away, wiggling in his grasp, but he was too strong. How could I have left my stake? I was a guardian now, damn it. Guardians don't do that! He lifted his other hand, his left one, and shook it in my face. With that closer look, my stomach dropped. The ring _wasn't _a plain silver ring like I thought it was. It was embellished with tiny, green stones and it looked like there was an inscription on it as well. "This is the ring Yeva gave me when I graduated, you know, to become a guardian—what you're supposed to be!" Both his hands dropped, but he might as well have been still holding me, because I was too stunned to move. He glared. "Where is your stake, Rose? You're letting your guard down! Have I taught you _nothing_? Did you learn anything while I was mentoring you, anything at all?"

I knew these were rhetorical questions, so I didn't answer. Dimitri shook his head, disgusted. "When are you going to learn?" He whispered angrily, mostly to himself. Then he looked at me again and his eyes seemed to soften. It was a lot like when he caught Jesse and me hooking up, looking at me like seeing me for the first time. There were emotions I didn't understand in his eyes, some that scared me, others than thrilled me. It was so weird. Dimitri stepped closer again, molding his hand over my hip, and resting his forehead against mine. I could taste his breath on my tongue. It was amazing how even now when he touched me, I still felt alive and awake. As much as I feared and even hated him. part of me would, like I told him, always love Dimitri. His arm moved to wrap around me completely, resting his hand on my back. The way he touched me....it was so gentle. I didn't understand anything that was going on, including how I was feeling.

"You shouldn't let me touch you like this."

"What if I want you to?"

He pulled back so our eyes could meet. The world stopped, just for a second. And then, Dimitri crashed his mouth over mine. It was like hitting a switch. Morals and danger didn't seem to register in my head anymore. I kissed him back, letting him rake his fingers through my hair that he loved so much. It was like my body was on fire when he touched me. I felt alive and exhilarated for the first time in so long. He nipped at my lower lip and with a soft whimper, I allowed him entrance. When our tongues came together, I felt the electricity run down my spine and knew no one else could make me feels this way, no matter how long I lived.

I grabbed the tie he was wearing and tossed it somewhere. Dimitri acted next, moving his hands behind me to slowly pull my zipper down. The beautiful blue dress slid down my body and dropped to the floor. His lips worked down my neck. I eagerly popped off all his buttons and ripped the shirt off his body, rubbing my fingers all over his gorgeous chest. Dimitri groaned against my neck. Unhesitantly, he drove his hands down my body, stopping to grip my thighs and bring me up so I wrapped my legs around his waist. Kissing heavily and ardently, he carried me over to the plush, big bed and we fell on top of it. Before continuing though, Dimitri broke away, hovering over me. "Do you want this?" He asked huskily.

His caring and gentleness made my heart soar. I gazed into his eyes, breathing heavily. "I need this." Then, I dragged his lips back to mine. I didn't care about anything other than I was with him right now. I could feel him on every inch of my skin and it made all of the suffering worth it and more. It allowed me to forget about all the pain and darkness and anger and problems that seemed to stack up my entire life, even if it was just for a little while. I needed this. He needed this. And we were going to get it. While I ran my hands over his muscular back, he moved his lips down my flushed flesh, pausing at my bare stomach. As he grazed his lips over it, I squeezed my eyes shut. But when I felt his tongue touch me, I nearly screamed, digging my nails into his back. Dimitri didn't stop. He returned to my breasts, playing with the straps of my bra until they hung off my shoulders. He traced it with his lips, teasing me, and still not taking it off. I gripped his hair with one hand and he chuckled throatily.

His hands glided up my thighs, over my curves, and up my back until reaching the clasp of my bra. He snapped it off and added it to our pile of abandoned clothes. Things seem to escalate pretty quickly after that. I liked it. More and more clothing disappeared. Before I could wake up and realize what I was doing, it was done. I had been deprived of Dimitri for so long that I couldn't help but cling onto the last piece of him that I still had, no matter how dangerous and stupid it was. I laid there, floating in oblivion, and was clueless to the mistake I just made. The last thing I saw was Dimitri's tortured eyes before I fell into the darkness of sleep.

* * *

When my eyes opened, it wasn't like it was in the movies. I didn't have to blink and look around, trying to remember what the hell happened last night—I knew. It was the first and only thing on my mind. Slowly, slowly, I sat up and found Dimitri once again sprawled on one of the leather love seats. But this time, he wasn't facing me. His expression was thoughtful—profound, even. His eyes were enigmatic as he watched the vivid orange flames dance in the fire place. He was shirtless (I was going to have a heart attack one of these days) and in his black pants. That when I realized _I _had on his red shirt, unbuttoned, revealing me in my black lacy bra and panties. Dimitri had dressed me when I was asleep. I wasn't sure if that was sweet or creepy. The slight stirring in the bed triggered his enhanced hearing and Dimitri turned, morose eyes landing right on me.

I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. Last night, his eyes regarded me with the same painful adoration and longing as in the cabin, but now, they were just dark and as lifeless as a Strigoi's eyes should be. I swallowed roughly and stood up. In a second, he flashed in front of me, just a few feet away. I couldn't stop my heart from jumping in fear. _What the hell were you thinking, Rose_? Why did I let my guard down like that last night? How could I have been so stupid and careless? Then something else occurred to me: Lissa. I had left her alone for hours and she barely even crossed my mind. I was starting to really question myself, all because of _him_.

Dimitri smirked and took a few leisure steps forward. His miserable eyes popped into my mind. What had he been feeling last night? Did it mean anything to him? That question answered itself. Of course it didn't. A knowing voice reminded me: _it's just a game to him, Rose. Don't get lost in it and lose again. _I held back my emotions quite well, if I say so myself, but really, what was the point when he saw right through me? His chuckle was empty. "Ah, now you're starting to finally understand what's going on, Roza."

"I have an idea," I said back as calm as I could. "The whole 'play with my emotions' game, right?"

Dimitri nodded, face thoughtful. "I suppose. But I think 'playing your weakness' is a more accurate definition." Another step closer. Another smirk. "Though I must say, that was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. _You _definitely seemed to enjoy yourself."

I shrugged back, feigning my indifference. "You're just _that _good."

He frowned at my sarcasm, but shook it off. "Honestly, I'm a bit surprised. It was so easy to pull you in. Losing your edge, Roza? Is Adrian not giving you enough love?"

I grit my teeth. My heart was breaking, but it was his mocking that killed me the most. But I had a tough skin. I survived a lot in my life, especially bullying like with Mia and Ralf. I could handle this. I calmed myself and stared blankly back up at him, as if his words hadn't even been said. Unfortunately, my silence didn't bother him in the slightest. I feared it just encouraged him, if anything. He flashed behind me, lips at my ear.

"What, no infamous Rose comeback? No witty remark? Come on," he teased, smirking. This all amused him. "You're ruining my fun."

"Boo fucking hoo."

Dimitri laughed and stepped around to stand in front of me again. He tried tracing my jaw, but I jerked my head away. His skin was colder than usual—or maybe I was just now realizing how it was as icy as death. "What's the matter?" My jaw clenched. "Not up for another round? I hear angry sex is the best sex."

"Go to hell." I growled.

"I'm already there, babe."

I couldn't do this. I couldn't play this game with him. I wanted to punch him and cry at the same time. Last night had been my escape, but it was over, and now it was time to pay the consequences for what I'd done. God only knows if Lissa was paying for my stupidity right now. The bond confirmed she was okay, though worried sick about me. I didn't deserve her care. I had chosen Dimitri over her _again_. I had to stop doing this. Doubts filled my mind. Was turning him back really the right thing to do?

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, Roza." He finally moved away from me, strolling toward the fireplace again. I didn't even bother to dignify him a response. "You're so smart, so strong, and such a good guardian." His voice was strangely frustrated. "Yet no matter what, you're as reckless as always. It's too easy to take you down. All I have to do is find your weakness and it's done. I know what you want. I know how your mind works." He glanced at me. "How do you expect to win that way?"

I was bit surprised. It almost sounded like he was my mentor again, lecturing me in his annoying, old wise way. "Maybe I have more strategies than you think." He didn't have a clue about what I was planning with Robert, as far as I knew. Dimitri did know how I thought and felt, but he couldn't totally read my mind, thankfully.

"Possibly," He agreed, shrugging. His back was to me. "So tell me, Roza. You obviously have figured out that I'm not going to kill you. At least, not right now."

I still didn't understand that. "Why? You've had me trapped multiple times." I asked stupidly, "Are you chickening out?"

Dimitri laughed, the dead sound filling the air. "I think we both know the answer to that. Why I haven't done anything is because I noticed _you _have something planned. I wouldn't be able to find out what it is if I killed you." He paused. "What were you doing at Victor's prison that night?"

"Breaking him out." What was the point in trying to lie?

Dimitri spun around, his face uncharacteristically stunned. "What?"

I took his confusion to my advantage. "Did I stutter? Or did you're immortal hearing fail you?" He scowled and I continued. "I broke Victor Dashkov out of jail."

It looked like it was difficult for Dimitri to remove the incredulousness from his features. He still looked shaken when he kept talking. "And why on earth were you doing that? Last time I checked, you were willing to kill to make sure he got locked up. What happened to that?"

I _had_ made a big deal about going to his trial back then. I didn't admit that, of course, and looked in his red-rimmed eyes. "Do you really think I'm going to tell you? I do have plans and I want to make them work. You're just going to have to step back and watch them unfold, comrade."

Dimitri clapped slowly. "Finally. That's the Rose I know." Then, he kissed me, fast and deep before stepping back. "You can keep the shirt." His eyes scanned over my exposed body and I fought my flushing cheeks. His smirk was back, but I still didn't recognize his eyes. "Until we meet again, Rose."

I watched him go, knowing if there was one certain thing in my life, us seeing each other again would be it.

* * *

As soon as I stepped through the Academy's gates, Lissa was there. She was waiting ironically close to the spot where I left her, crying, to go hunt the man that almost ripped us apart. Thinking about that time made my heart break all over again. But, I had come back just like I promised and once again wore the chotki she gave me around my wrist. The wind blew around her pale blonde hair as she stood, face so blank she could have been a guardian in that moment. She didn't bother to shield her mind though, her worry and anger flooding over me immediately. "Where the hell were you?" I winced. Lissa almost never swore. It was my thing. She only did it when she was _really_ serious about something.

"I'm sorry," I said, flicking a piece of hair out of my face. "I got.....held up at the restaurant last night." The guilt was nearly choking me. I had chastised myself for my stupidity all the way over here. Lissa was about to demand for more details but I stopped her. "By an unwanted visitor."

Her face paled, more than normal. "Victor?"

I shook my head. "Dimitri." Her eyes widened, the mask breaking. Sympathy and more intense worry pounded through her to me, but I shook my head again. "I'll explain later. Let's go inside." Lissa obliged and as we re-entered the school's grounds, she gave me a half hug that I returned. It was one of those bittersweet moments I missed when I was reminded that I wasn't just the Dragomir princess's (almost!) guardian—I was her best friend too.

As soon as we stepped through the commons, Lissa turned to me, a sage smirk on her pretty face. I gave her a questioning look and she giggled. "Rose, did you forget what today is?"'

I scanned my mind, flipping through my memories of the past few days. And then it hit me: "Son of a bitch!" I swore and then laughed, though it was more out of nervousness than amusement. Today was the day of my guardian coronation, when us novices would be assigned our charge and then finally sent off to the real world, out of St. Vladimir's gates. That's why the school was so quiet right now. The Moroi were probably packing while the novices were _supposed _to be at the coronation. Oops.

Lissa laughed at my expression. "I'm late!" I gave her a quick hug and took off to my dorm to change out of the dress I was still in. I tore through my closet, picking out a pair of nice black slacks, matching heels, and a scarlet, sleeveless top made out of silk. Though I probably shouldn't have, I took my time styling my hair into a stylishly messy bun inspired by Adrian Ivashkov's personal hair and then rushed down to the room I was told the coronation would be held in.

It was the same small, but fitting room I received my _molnija _marks in, but it had been renovated to a more ceremonial setting. Diamond-embellished chandeliers hung from the ceilings. Lavish gold and red curtains draped the windows and covered the rectangular tables coated in celebratory food. They were strong, happy colors that represented us novices passing our trials and accepting the duty of being full-fledged guardians. The atmosphere was drastically and thankfully different from when I got my marks. All of the school's guardians were gathered in clusters, easily chatting and laughing, much like the students. The room was lit by joy instead of grief and it showed.

Alberta was the first to notice me. She looked more like a woman than a fighter today, dressed in an eggplant pants suit and with light makeup on her face. She smiled when she saw me, but I could see the undercoat of stress in it. Being the head of all this planning couldn't have been easy. And irresponsible novices like me didn't help. "Rose, you finally decided to come," she joked and gave me a hug. It was then that I realized I was no longer a student here: I had graduated and was about to "join the ranks". "Come on," Alberta continued. "We're about to get everything started."

She led me over to the little area set up for the occasion. Lionel was there once again, position in front of a stool and his tools to give us our promise marks. I knew enough about the inauguration to know after we received our mark, we were given our first real stake along with giving the oath to protect our charge before we became guardians. It was all nerve-wracking, but exciting at the same time. Today was the day that all my pain and hard-working paid off. I would be a real guardian, a responsible but badass adult that killed Strigoi for a living. I couldn't believe this day had actually come. I wished Lissa and Dimitri were here with me to share this moment, but at the same time, I knew I had to do it on my own.

Well, maybe not completely on my own.

I think I noticed my mother the same time her eyes found me. She too was dressed nicely in a gray pants suit with surprisingly gorgeous purple heels that matched her undershirt. She nodded at me and I nodded back. We were definitely overdue for a conversation. But it would have to wait until later. Alberta cleared her throat, gathering everyone's attention as she stood beside Lionel. The novices' anticipation crackled through the room and I traded smiles with my friends that were around me. It was time. "Welcome everyone," Alberta greeted, face serious, but eyes warm. I had a feeling she lived for this moment when the students she trained left the nest and into the real world, officially. "I'm sure you all know how this goes by now, but I will explain it regardless. When I call your name, you will come and receive your promise mark, then take the guardian oath, and finally accept your stake." She glanced at us eager graduates and smiled. "Let's begin."

The wait for this was longer than graduation, or at least it felt that way. I watched each of my previous classmates get their promise marks, state the pledge, and then take their stake with giant smiles. When my name was finally called, I kept my eyes on my mother who looked ready to burst with pride. Our fight didn't matter right now; I was about to become a guardian like I now understood she set me to be and that couldn't make her happier. Lionel smiled as I sat down. It was almost routine for us by now. As I felt the needle etch along my skin, all I could think about was the people in my life: Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Adrian, my parents, and of course, Dimitri. I knew if he could have been here with me today, my life would have been perfect, but, perfect is unattainable and I was learning to adapt with what I had. Life was a bitch most of the time, but it had rare moments like this that made it worth it.

When Lionel finished, I stood up and approached Alberta, placing my hand over my heart like others had done. "Rosemarie Hathaway, do you solemnly swear to accept all of the responsibilities, rules, and consequences of becoming a guardian?"

My heart raced. "I do."

Alberta nodded and continued. "Do you solemnly swear to protect your charge at all cost and never place them in direct danger?"

I could see Lissa in my mind and felt myself swallow the reality of my duty. "I do."

Alberta nodded again and smiled. "Welcome, Guardian Hathaway."

Applause broke out as Alberta handed me my official stake. I encircled my fingers around it, feeling the cool material, and then attached it to my belt loop for now. I finally stepped out of the spot light and headed straight for the food. Hey, I had to eat too, okay? I hadn't even stuck the sandwich in my mouth before my mother arrived. Her face was stone. "Can we talk outside?" She asked in monotone. I gulped and nodded, following her out into the hallway. I expected my mother to maybe go into a lecture about the responsibility of my job now and how going off on this mission was an abomination to Lissa or something relatively close to that. Instead, my mom hugged me.

"I'm so proud of you!" Her mask shattered, allowing me to see the tears in her eyes. Though this was a unique moment, my mom was still my mom and didn't smother and sob all over me, but the hug was an equal shock from Janine Hathaway. I returned it happily. "Now, I know I should probably give you a speech about something, but I trust you, Rose. I know no matter who your charge is or what you're doing, you're going to protect them." She sniffled and I laughed. Today was turning out to be a better one that I expected.

"I'm surprised you actually decided to skip the maternal rampage. I thought that would be your favorite part." I teased. My mother punched me in the arm and I knew I would rather have her do that than go all mushy on me. It wasn't in our blood to act that way. Even with Abe, it had been the same. Us Hathaways just weren't sentimental.

My mom smirked. "Well, hopefully this will make up for my lack of a riot." I laughed again but it halted when my mother produced a small velvet box. I gaped at it warily. Jewelry hadn't been such a positive thing for me in the past. I had the lust charm necklace, the ring that kept me from seeing dead people, and the lovely necklace my undead lover sent me. Regardless, I took the box from her hands and opened it. I gasped. Inside was a stunning bracelet that looked like it was constructed out of red tinfoil, shimmering in the light. The pieces were intricate in a criss-cross pattered that resembled lace and when I flipped it over, the inscription read: воин.

"It means warrior in Russian," my mother explained. "It was a gift from your father when I graduated." The far off look returned to her eyes. I left her to her memories as I slipped it on, admiring the way the color seemed to pop with my skin. It fit perfectly and warrior was an ironic definition for me.

"Thanks mom," I smiled and nodded. I knew we had to eventually talk about what happened, but right now wasn't the time. We talked about, shockingly, my mother's graduation, though I didn't get many details about my father coming into play. Instead, my mother told me a hilarious story about how she rammed this other girl's head into cake. By the time Eddie came to get me, I was doubled over in laughter. I calmed myself enough to follow him back into the room. It was time for our charges to be announced.

"Eddie Castile," Alberta said then paused. "Abby Badica."

I would never admit it, but I was relieved when she didn't say Lissa's name after Eddie's. I feared they thought I was too incompentent or insane to handle protecting the last Dragomir, but I think slaying those Strigoi during the attack and my excellent performance during trials really helped me. Eddie was pleased with his assignment and left right after, returning to his dorm to finish packing. The students had to evacuate from their rooms by tomorrow morning, ready to leave with their Moroi. I personally thought it was kind of cruel of them to just kick us out. I mean, we should at least get some time to say goodbye to the home we had known for practically—

"Rosemarie Hathaway," I held my breath. "Vasilisa Dragomir."

I think Alberta winked at me, but I was too busy doing a celebratory dance in my mind to pay attention. After agreeing to talk with my mom later and saying brief bittersweet goodbyes to my teachers, I excited the room, practically glowing with excitement. I promised Lissa I would stick around to hear Christian's guardian, but I didn't think she would mind when she heard the news. After checking the bond, I discovered she was with said boyfriend in Adrian's room, doing their standard spirit lessons.

I practically ran to the guest dorms and when I reached the room, banged on the door. Adrian opened it, looking startled. I added to his shock when I smiled widely like an idiot. "Adrian!" I flung myself into his arms and then gave him a kiss on the cheek before entering the room.

"Whoa, did someone pop a happy pill this morning?" He asked, shutting the door behind me. I laughed and shook my head. Christian, who was sprawled on the couch, and Lissa, which sat on the floor but sprung up when I came inside, caught on to my excitement immediately.

I stared at all of them for a second then blurted out, "I'm the last Dragomir's guardian!"

Lissa proceeded to shriek and tackle me in a hug. We spent the next few minutes jumping up and down like maniacs, but I really didn't care how ridiculous we looked. Her happiness combined with mine. Finally, one of my million worries was knocked off the list. "Ooh," Lissa said a few minutes later. "Lemme see your mark!" I turned around, holding up my hair so she could see the snake-like tattoo that symbolized my promise to fulfill my duty as a guardian. "Rose, I'm so proud of you!" We hugged again, giggling. She sighed, face thoughtful. "This is going to be so great!"

"One big happy family," I agreed, for once not feeling sick when I said that, looking at my family of friends. Things weren't perfect right now, but they were the closest to it I had had in a long, long time.

* * *

**Wow. Not only did I not end this with a cliff hanger, but this was my longest chapter so far! Whoo! Once again, thank you so much for the reviews. 100 baby!! You guys rock. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The end was a bit boring, but necessary. I promise lots of drama for next chapter. At least 3 reviews please!!**

_**49 days til Spirit Bound!**_


	12. Beat Your Heart Out

**Twelve**

_I had to run, the damage is done _  
_I give it up, I give it up_

**P**ARADISE HAD HARDLY BEGUN.

You'd think that after we were done with school life would start to get at least a little less complicated. Of course not. In fact, I think things got worse—crazy right? I know I sound pessimistic, but it's the truth. The next morning after all the good stuff happened, reality returned from its vacation. First, students were forced to leave the school. What the hell was up with that? Then—after finding somewhere to stay—Princess Vasilisa had to meet with the Queen. Yep, I was _ecstatic _about that. Finally, to put a cherry on top of my fantastic day, the time limit was up. I didn't know what to expect with Dimitri. For all I knew, he could be waiting just around any corner for me. I just didn't know. I still wasn't sure what was going on after our last meeting. I can't believe I had—to be brutally truthful—slept with a Strigoi! I personally think my judgment or higher reasoning or whatever was broken because _that _was just messed up. The sad part was, I barely even remembered it. I mean, I remember doing it, of course, but, it was different. I hadn't felt like I was with a Strigoi, but with Dimitri—a different Dimitri than the one I knew before and the one who nearly turned me into a soulless monster. Weird. So, that pretty much sums up my life for right now.

Currently, I was in the tiny waiting room outside of Tatiana's chambers with Lissa. After clearing out of the Academy, we were planning to stay at a hotel for a little while, but Adrian surprisingly suggested we crash at his house until the Queen had everything settled for us. He still had no idea Lissa and I were about to take off on another mission. I wanted to tell him but the timing was just never right. That was actually the topic of conversation as we waited. "He's done so much for me," I told Lissa, leaning opposite of her against the wall. "How am I supposed to drop the bombshell that I'm leaving him again—to bring my ex-boyfriend back from the dead? That would kill him, Liss, and I just can't do that."

"I know," she said, frowning. "But you have to tell him, eventually. He has the right to know, especially now that we're staying with him." I knew she was right, completely, but every time I even come close to telling Adrian, I remember everything he's done. He let me take all the money I wanted for my own selfish funding and he was still waiting around to help me even when I was so rude to him and now he was ready to support me in any way he could. I would drop all of this and just kill Dimitri, if I could. But no matter what I or anyone else said, he never left my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about him or missing him or regretting that I hadn't saved him the first time around. No one understood, not even Adrian. "It will probably hurt him," Lissa continued, agreeing with me. "But maybe...."

I scoffed. "Maybe what? He'll feel sorry for me and not get pissed off? He's going to hate me and I completely deserve it!"

Lissa's compassion nearly drowned out my own emotions, but before she could comfort me and assure me that I didn't deserve Adrian's hate, Pricilla Voda stepped out, wearing a welcoming smile. "Princess," she bowed and then nodded at me. Cool. I was going to have to get used to being treated like Lissa's respected guardian. "Queen Tatiana is ready for you."

Lissa and I exchanged wary glances. Queen Tatiana wouldn't be ready for the request we had for her. The only way Lissa would be able to accompany me on my quest is if she got permission from Tatiana first. This wasn't going to be easy. We followed Pricilla inside where the Queen was waiting. I remembered the last time I was in this room, getting bitched out by Your Majesty about my "affair" with her grand nephew. It was ironic that now that I had returned, I kind of was involved with Adrian. Tatiana looked the same, her gray hair, stoic expression, and hideous clothes. We bowed regardless, though how I felt about her could hardly be considered respect. Not that it mattered anymore. I was Lissa's shadow now, to be seen but not heard. Yup, this was definitely gonna take some getting used to.

"Your Majesty," Lissa greeted, polite as always. But I knew there was similar dislike behind her cherubic expression that mirrored my own.

"Princess Vasilisa, good to see you again." Her eyes fell on me. "Oh, what a pleasant surprise! Rosemarie, you became Vasilisa's guardian afterall."

I kept my mouth shut, though I really wished I could gloat in her face. "Now," Tatiana continued, straightening up in her chair. "I believe you requested an audience with me, Vasilisa. What is this meeting about? We have yet to discuss your plans about college. My offer still stands. You can live her at Court while attending any university you choose."

"Well," Lissa began. There was a little hesitance, but remembering I was here, her fear melted away. "Actually, Your Majesty, before any plans are made, I'd like to take some time off. You know, to travel a little before settling down. But, as soon as I return, I'd be happy to accept your offer."

Queen Tatiana's lips flattened to a displeased line. The room was uncomfortably silent as she contempleted what Lissa just said. I could feel the heat in Lissa's cheeks. Her anxiety about what we were doing was killing her and I kind of wished Lissa hadn't asked to go with me. I didn't want to have to put her through this. If Tatiana found out we were visiting Victor's illigetimate brother, that could get Lissa into some trouble. Finally, Tatiana said, "Fine, I'll allow you time to travel, as you wish." Her eyes met mine, icy and merciless. "But you must periodically check in with me. I don't need you dragging off Vasilisa into another one of your corruptions."

That was exactly what we were doing. But Queen Bitch didn't have to know that. "Of course, Your Majesty." I could hide the sarcasm from my tone as I said, "We'll call everyday."

Not happy I agreed so easily, Tatiana added, "And you must take another guardian with you. For the Princess's protection, of course."

This day gets better and better. "Of course," I agreed flatly.

She nodded. "You are dismissed."

Without hesitation this time, Lissa and I fled out of the room. Once we were far enough away from her old hag ears, I exploded. "Are you kidding me? _Another _guardian? Where the hell am I going to find another guardian this is willing to go through with this plan?"

Maintaining her optimism, Lissa said, "Well, at least she's letting us go."

"Hardly," I spat. "If I can get you another guardian, we're not going anywhere! Damn her. She knew how impossible that was going to be!"

"Rose," Lissa said softly. Calming feelings rushed through me. "Relax, okay? I'll take care of the guardian thing. Let's just go."

I sighed and nodded, following Princess Vasilisa, like I would be doing for the rest of my life.

* * *

Adrian's house—excuse me—_mansion _was located just a few miles away from Court. I was surprised he had stayed so far away, back in Montana, but when I asked him about it, Adrian simply shrugged, unusually quiet about the topic of his home. As expected, the place was gorgeous: a peaceful green estate, with a circular driveway, stone water fountain, balconies on the second floor windows, and acres of land surrounding it. In total, it had 8 rooms, 2 of them guest rooms that Lissa and I would be staying in. Naturally, mine was across from Adrian's bedroom. After Lissa and I unpacked our stuff, we settled in the patio of the backyard with Adrian and Christian, playing cards.

Lissa had promised to "take care" of our guardian problem and for now, I trusted her to do that. But in return, she made me promise to bring up our plans to Adrian in the few days we were staying here. Unwillingly, I had agreed, though I probably shouldn't have. "Yes!" Lissa cheered as she, once again, won the game we were playing. I had never played let alone heard of it, so that left me losing pathetically.

"Damn it," Christian mumbled, throwing his cards onto the table. The rest of us laughed. He was a sore loser and it only pissed him off even more than his girlfriend beat him every time. "I swear you've got some ESP spirit power, Liss!"

I shook my head, watching as Adrian and Lissa sprung to the defensive about spirit powers and attacked Christian, verbally, about it. My eyes wandered to the beautiful backyard again. The patio and pool were enclosed in a screen dome, but the outside was a huge field of trees and flowers. Adrian had explained that his mom loved to garden and it showed. The poinsettias look particularly gorgeous—what the hell am I saying? How could I be worrying about flowers and playing card games right now? My heart rate increased. In the back of my mind, I realized it was shadow kiss darkness that was swallowing me, but that didn't stop my rant.

Here I was, sitting and just relaxing by the pool while Dimitri—deadly, badass god, Dimitri—was organizing my death. What had he said before? _You obviously have figured out that I'm not going to kill you. At least, not right now. _He was waiting to see what my plans were and that's where things were going to get ugly. If I couldn't get Lissa another guardian and get to Robert, Dimitri would have nothing to wait for and I would have nothing to save him with. Except death.

"Rose?"

I looked away from the greenery surrounding us to see Lissa and Christian studying me. Adrian, I noticed, had gone inside. "What?" They looked at each other, having some type of couple-y silent conversation. "Are we having an intervention or something?" I joked.

"Well," Lissa said, "Since you haven't told Adrian anything yet, we can't talk about this in front of him." The bond told me there was new news she had to report.

"What is there to talk about?" I glanced at both of them, a little warily.

Surprisingly, Christian spoke up. "I was going to go with you guys to New York, like Lissa said I would, but after talking to my Aunt Tasha yesterday, I decided to visit her before moving into Court instead."

I nodded. I was kind of hoping to have Christian's fire power as a backup, just in case, but I wasn't going to hold him back from seeing his aunt. We finished discussing the details and Adrian returned holding a box of fresh playing cards. He smiled at me. "See if you can keep up, Hathaway."

I did my best to smile back, despite the pain on the inside.

* * *

Two days later, Lissa had delivered. She had gone down to the Guardian Council and worked her magic into getting a temporary guardian that would vouch for us, but keep their distance during our trip. I wasn't happy about the side effects on either of us, but her super compulsion was really coming in handy these days. Early that morning, before the sun set, I found myself standing on the balcony in my pajamas, continuing my previous thoughts during the card game. His voice plagued my mind. _There's nowhere in the world you can hide from me. _I sighed heavily, glaring out at the sunset.

Light footsteps sounded behind me, followed by the glass door re-opening and closing. "Isn't it a little early for you to be up, little dhampir?" Adrian leaned against the railing beside me. His hair was damp from showering and he smelt of some expensive cologne. It surprised me _he_ was up this early. Lissa never awoke until the moon was fully out. As for why I was up, well, I had no choice. Dimitri haunted my mind, not allowing me to close my eyes without seeing those red eyes or missing his brown ones. I wasn't sure if it was better to hate and be afraid of him than to love and long for him so deeply I couldn't breathe.

"Needed some fresh air," I told Adrian.

He surprised me yet again by sighing in frustration. I glanced at him. Adrian's jaw was clenched. His voice was dangerously low. "You know, I've given you two months. Two damn months, Rose. I thought maybe….maybe eventually she could love me too. All I need to give her is time and show her that _I'm _not going anywhere. I've always been here, watching and waiting—_hoping _that you would get over him. Not completely. I know two months isn't enough to forget about someone you loved, someone you would have died for. But at least enough so you can give someone else a chance at making you happy." He shook his head, smiling bitterly. "Not even that."

"Adrian," I swallowed. "I have given you a chance! You _are _making me happy!" Well, maybe not happy like I'm singing in the sunshine, but I've only felt that type of happiness maybe once or twice in my life. It wasn't easy to accomplish.

Adrian scowled, glaring at me. I had never seen such a scornful look from him before, especially at me. "Rose, every day I see your aura. I know how miserable you are." I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off. "And giving me a chance isn't a few pitiful kisses and a 'date' whenever you're bored!"

"You have no idea how I feel! Just because my aura a little more depressing than usual doesn't mean I'm not happy!"

"You're not happy, Rose! At least, not with me. Most of the time you just ignore my existence anyway. I mean, it would be okay if you were at least honest with me, but you're not. You're not even honest with yourself!"

I scoffed, furious. "What the hell are you babbling about now?"

"Okay, okay," Adrian laughed and rubbed his face. "Let's have a little reality check, then? I hate to be so harsh with you, but here it is: Dimitri is dead. You need to accept that. It doesn't mean you have to get over it and move on, but you need to tell yourself the truth for once."

I looked away. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

He brought my face back to his, cupping his hands over my cheeks. "I get it, okay?" Adrian sighed and looked down before returning to my eyes. What I saw in them made me want to step back. "Look, I'm saying all of this because I love you." _Oh my god. _"I don't usually care this much but I need you to see that so....I said it. I love you, Rose Hathaway."

I didn't even get the chance to breathe. Adrian kissed me, wrapping his arms around my body, and pressing his against mine. His lips moved fluidly against mine until I surrendered, kissing him back. I couldn't stop myself. Maybe it was out of pity, like he said. Adrian deserved this from me and so much more. Maybe it was a small part of me that actually did love him too that wanted this. Maybe I was just a glutton for punishment—or stupid. Whatever it was, it drove me to letting Adrian pick me up bridal style and carry me back into the bedroom.

I pushed Adrian down against the bed, climbing on top of him, and reconnecting our lips. I got a groan of surprise and pleasure in return. Adrian was a lot more skilled with this than I was. He rolled us over, hooking my leg around his hip while my fingers toyed with the edge of his shirt. I expected myself to be drowning in my emotions like I was before, in this position with someone else but I wasn't. I felt nothing except for the painful beating of my heart. I broke apart our kiss to catch my breath. Adrian didn't waste time, removing his shirt and then kissing my neck. My body responded, thinking about his fangs sinking into my skin, but I pushed those desires away, kissing him greedily again. I let him slide his hands up my shirt and then peel it off. I shut my eyes, leaning back against the pillows as we kissed and kissed.

This continued for a few moments, but Adrian finally proceeded to move down my neck and shoulders to my breasts. His hands gripped my waist and I allowed him to touch me, keeping my eyes closed. I tried not to think about what we were doing. Thinking required feeling and I didn't want to feel anything right now—it hurt too much. I just ran my fingers along his warm chest, reminding myself that this is how it could be. I didn't have to change anything. Adrian was here, right now, and ready. But I couldn't run from my emotions. The guilt was choking me and I couldn't remove Dimitri's face from my mind. _I wish…we could be together. _

I gasped at his voice. Adrian assumed it was because of him and continued whatever he was doing. I fought against the man my heart wanted in my mind undoing Adrian's pants' belt. _I couldn't return that…couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when my heart is somewhere else. _Shut up, Dimitri, shut up! _You're strong—you're so, so strong. It's why I love you. _Adrian slid my pants off my body. I tried to breathe while sobbing. Not very easy. _That's what I was supposed to say_.

Adrian returned to my ear, breathing thickly. "You have no idea how much I've wanted this. I love you Rose, with everything I've got, and I'm going to prove that to you."

It was the final blow. I burst into tears.

Adrian jumped and moved back. It was painfully obvious I wasn't crying tears of joy. The shock and hurt smeared all over his face proved he knew that and finally understood what I was really feeling. "A-adrian," I stuttered out, furiously wiping away my tears, but they kept coming, thick and fast. Through the blur, I could see Adrian had turned his head away while I sobbed pathetically. I might as well have staked him through the heart. "I'm so sorry!" While the truth was out, I might as well keeping going. After I calmed myself down—it took longer than I'd like to admit—I took a deep breath and let it all out. "He's not dead. Dimitri's not dead. I thought I had killed him back in Siberia, but the truth is: I didn't." I met his eyes and seeing them staring back at me with such pain made my stomach twist in knots. But I sucked it up. This wasn't about me. "That's the reason we broke Victor out of jail. It's kind of a long, complicated story but his brother—half brother—is a spirit user that supposedly restored a Strigoi back to life. That's what I'm hoping to do. But the only way I could find Robert was by releasing Victor so he could give me his location. Now Lissa and I are going to leave to New York tomorrow to find him and, hopefully, bring Dimitri back to life." I exhaled and looked up.

Adrian didn't say a word. He stood up, gathered his clothes, and left the room.

* * *

"Ready to go?"

I turned away from watching the grand staircase. _He's not going to say goodbye_. I wasn't surprised that there was an ache in my chest at that realization. It wasn't even that Adrian was mad at me. He was hurt—and that hurt me. A part of me—small, but still there—I realized, did love Adrian too. He was sweet, funny, and caring, not to mention, probably the most loyal guy I would ever meet. He never gave up on me, even when I was gone for somebody else. If we lived in a different world, one where Dimitri Belikov didn't exist, I knew Adrian would be a great boyfriend for me. But, in my screwed up life, Dimitri didn't die and I knew there was a reason for that. One day, I hope Adrian can understand and forgive me.

I looked back at Lissa. "Yeah, let's go." Silently, I followed her out of the Ivashkov mansion and into the car we rented to get us to the airport. We loaded up all our stuff and climbed in. The plane would take us to Illinois and then we would take another one to New Jersey and then ride a train to Brooklyn to begin our search. I plugged the keys into the ignition and glanced at my best friend.

Her fear and anticipation crackled through the bond. I smiled and she rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's go save your boyfriend."

Laughing, I drove off, hoping her statement was correct.

* * *

"_Finally_," I breathed, stepping off the plane. It had been excruciating. Without the wards of Court, my shadow kissed 'friends' made their presence known, along with a five alarm headache that I could never get used to. I managed to keep the ghosts at bay, but the same dark shadows and skulls still hovered.

"Sorry Rose," Lissa apologized again, dragging her suitcase as we exited the terminal. She felt horrible at not being able to help me, along with blaming herself about my darkness to begin with.

"Liss, it's okay." I told her reassuringly. I wasn't mad at her. I knew we would be leaving the wards for this and I accepted the consequences. "I'm fine." _The things I do for that monster_—my thoughts were interrupted as the cell phone Lissa bought me for "guardian/friendship purposes" vibrated in my back pocket. I checked the caller ID and smiled wryly. Figures. "Hello father,"

"Rose," he said back amicably. "I believe I told you we'd speak after graduation?"

I smirked. "I remember that. Guess that talk's now."

"Exactly," Abe agreed in his jovial way. "Now, from what we had discussed, last time you went on a mission, Adrian Ivashkov funded your expenses, am I correct?"

Thinking about Adrian caused the ache to return. "Where are you going with this, Zmey?" I demanded, half curious and half wary. I think I already knew and I didn't like it.

Abe chuckled. "I would like to make a donation." Oh no. "Instead of clearing out the Princess's or Mr. Ivashkov's piggy bank, why don't you use your _father_'_s _money for hotel rooms, tickets, food—whatever you need?"

"Dad," the word was still foreign to my lips. "You don't have to do that. I have some money saved up and I—"

"Rose," he interrupted in a stern voice I could only label as paternal. "Just take it."

I dissected ways to fight this and when I realized I couldn't, I sighed. "Fine."

The jolly tone returned. "Good. But, this wasn't the only reason I called. Since you're doing the really hard part, I figured I'd pitch in." Before I could protest to that, Abe kept going, like he knew I would say something. "I'm having some local Alchemists try to track down Belikov—"

"You're _what_?" Lissa looked at me, alarmed. I took a few steps away, giving her a false assuring smile, and turned my back. "How did you even know who he was? Have you been snooping, Zmey?"

"Not at all," he responded easily. Liar. "But, some of my employees have had some trouble with him in the past, back in Russia. He did a lot of killing, like you, and now that he's Strigoi, the corpse numbers have just taken off." I could only shake my head. "Anyway, I've been trying to track him and his whereabouts but it isn't easy. He's all over the place and we can never catch him."

I smiled cynically. "He's a master at hide and seek, dad."

"Definitely," Abe agreed then sighed. "Well, I've got to go and I'm sure you're busy. We'll keeping hunting and I'll call again soon with any updates. Just keep me posted on Doru."

"Sir, yes, sir!" I joked. He really sounded like a captain or chief of something. Maybe me.

"Goodbye Rose." We hung up.

"What was that about?" Lissa asked, coming up behind me.

I shook my head. "I'll explain later. Let's go before we miss the train."

* * *

By the time the train had taken off, Lissa and I were both exhausted. Back at the Academy, we would be just waking up, but in the human world, it was nighttime. This kind of schedule has us both messed up. We sat towards the back of the train, propped up on the pillows Lissa had packed with her, trying to fall asleep. Just as I was drifting off, Lissa whispered, "Rose?"

I reopened my eyes, rubbing them. "What's up, Liss?" I hoped she wasn't going to tell me she missed Christian again. I didn't mind her telling me, but I did mind the flashbacks of the previous night that came with it, through her head.

Her expression was hesitant. The bond told me she wanted to ask something, but was worried about my reaction. She finally said, "What was it like? You're relationship with Dimitri?"

Oh. I wasn't expecting that. I was going to brush off the question, but this was Lissa. I told her everything since kindergarden. If there was one person I should be able to talk to about me and Dimitri, it was her. I paused thoughtfully, remembering all of our practices, teasing him, those smiles that would make my day...."It was...complicated," I laughed. What an obvious answer. "I mean, for most of it, he was just my teacher and I was his student, but I guess there was always something more behind it." I had myself convinced Dimitri only acted different with Tasha, but now I was seeing how he acted around me. Maybe we weren't as sneaky as we thought. "It wasn't until after Mason died and everything that happened over Christmas settled that our relationship really changed. I loved him more than I did before—appreciated him in a different way and I think he did too. We both knew we couldn't be together, but we also knew we couldn't be with anyone else...."

I expected Lissa to be disgusted or shocked or creeped out by our secret relationship. I thought she wouldn't want to hear anything else about my 7 years older mentor and the man that was supposed to be protecting her, falling in love with me. I was wrong. Lissa smiled sadly. "I had no idea all of this was happening." Then, she grew a little excited. "So," she giggled. "Did he ever get jealous with all those guys all over you?"

And so it began. I finally opened up to someone, Lissa most importantly, about everything I had held so closed to me since we returned to St. Vladimir's. It was about time. I told Lissa about him catching Jesse and me making out and how I first realized my feelings for him then, a silly school girl crush. I gushed about that afternoon on the field when he cleaned my hands and we talked about his family and my mom, how so easily I was able to talk to him. And then of course, how he didn't want me to cut my hair. To my complete surprise, Lissa kept asking questions and begged for details, almost like this was some exclusive interview. I was so happy I could tell her all of this. But, it did have its negative parts. When I got to the cabin, tears sneaked out of my eyes.

"It was the first time I had ever felt connected to anything, Liss. It was like I was finally who I was always meant to be—the strong girl Dimitri saw." I swallowed.

Lissa played my role, comforting me, but also lighting up the mood. She gave me a playful nudge, smirking. "Rose Hathaway is not a virgin anymore, _finally_!"

I laughed and elbowed her. We continued talking for a few more minutes until we finally got to sleep. I felt so refreshed after that and I think Lissa did too. As I drifted off to sleep, my hopes were lifted when my dream setting was chosen for me. I didn't deserve it, but Adrian had forgiven me. I looked around, but then stopped. He hadn't. My hopes were crushed, but as I examined where I was more closely, my heart skipped a beat. I was standing in the cabin.

I waited for Dimitri to come out. I still didn't know how and was beyond confused, but he was managing to get into my head for some form of dream walking. I waited, but he never came. Instead, I noticed there was a piece of paper planted on one of the pillows on the bed. I reached it and froze. Right below the writing on the little white card, was a silver ring. The inscription read:

_You're right. _

_—D _

* * *

**I love and hated this chapter. It was difficult for me to write (and re-write) but I kind of like how it turned out. It had a lot of important dramatic junk in it, so I hope you enjoyed it. ****Thank you again and again for my reviews. You guys are so incredible, seriously. I apologize for the long wait. My laptop was literally getting fixed for two weeks so I haven't gotten it back until just yesterday. Hopefully, that won't happen again and I can have the next chapter up much sooner. Thanks again. :) **

**_24 days 'til Spirit Bound!!_**


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